Fearnot for I have redeemed You, I have called you by Name, you areMine….

Fearnot for I have redeemed You, I have called you by Name, you areMine….

Iwould like to take a few minutes out of your time to share with you abrief summary of how my life changed. To tell this story correctly, Imust start from the beginning. As you don’t know me I would like tointroduce myself, my name is Judith Anita Matthews (Maiden nameJudith Calitz).

Iwas living my life worrying of what tomorrow or the next day willbring along my way. My life was a very sad story and an absolute messburning up with sense of emptiness. It was like playing a dangerousgame. Although I was alive physically I was living my life byexisting from day to day, with an increasing fear eating at my heart.Even as a young girl I knew a deep sense of wanting to know why I wasborn, I was searching, I had emptiness and a longing in my heart. Ireally did not find what I was looking for, or even knew what I waslooking for. Then I noticed a difference in the lives of some of thegirls I went to school with, and I began to have a longing in myheart to be a part of something. I began to realise that in order tobe a part of something, I had to change. My story is one of tryingto fit in and find a sense of belonging. Unfortunately I looked inthe wrong places, in the wrong faces, and found myself totally lost. It took years and years of my life to eventually realise that Jesusis the Way the Truth and the Light of this World. There is no otherway that one can ever fulfil the emptiness of a lost life, withoutgiving yourself to Him and asking Him to come into your life. Thereis no other way to life without accepting Jesus into your Heart, byfaith believe that he died for you and was raised from the dead soyou and I may have life and have it more abundantly.

Iam sharing my story with you to encourage and to ask those who maynot yet know Jesus as their Lord to plead with you to please fulfilGod’s purpose in your life and achieve the joy and success throughbeing obedient to ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you alonglife’s narrow path….to lead you to Jesus. There is just no otherway, and there is no need to waste years of your life, throwingprecious time away by trying to live your life on your own strengthor trying to find some way to live without HIM!

It’ssuch a blessing to know that I belong to the Lord that I am Hisprecious child, His pride and joy.

Awhile ago whilst driving to work one morning, I began to worship theLord in my car and to thank Him for all the good He has done in mylife. I asked the Lord, how can I ever thank you for what you didfor me? I heard a small voice in my mind say, you can, you can sharewith others, for you see there are those persons who need to hear,who need to know that I can heal them too. That’s when I realisedthat He has been waiting for me for all these years to share withothers how great a love He has for each one of us. In order to dothis I ask you to listen to some of the ways that the Lord hasblessed me and has carried me to the place where I now can and now doput all my trust in Him for He is indeed worthy to be praised!

Thebest way I can do this, is to start telling you a ‘little bit of mystory’ how God has revealed Himself to me from an early age and howI eventually turned to Him, accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour andgave my life over to His Lordship.

Itwas almost 7 pm and I stood anxiously waiting by the window waitingfor some girls and boys to pick me up. It was my very first timethat I was going out in the evening by myself. I was 13 years oldand I so wanted to be a part of the in-crowd at school, I wanted tobe like the rest of the girls, they were so pretty, so confident andfull of laughter and life. I desperately needed to be a part of them. For too long now, I had noticed how they were always looking at me,and I could almost read their thoughts, “what an odd girl”, Iknew that’s what they thought of me, I knew they secretly laughedat me, I knew I was different and needed to be a part of them. Ijust had to look like them, I had to dress like them and do thethings they did, or otherwise be this odd girl out. Surely I couldlive this way, being so different and being laughed at, I had tochange and be like them. They had told me of the ‘things’ theydid, ‘things’ like what I was just about to do, to go out theevening to ‘wherever’ the crowd met. The ‘things’ I did notknow was that in fact I really did not want to do the ‘things’that they were doing. What I didn’t know was that they wereactually drinking alcohol, smoking, doing drugs and all the rest ofthe ‘things’ that go along with living such a lifestyle.

Iheard my mother saying goodbye at the door, but being so excited Idon’t think I even answered her. Somewhere in the back of my mind,a small voice was saying, you told your mother a lie; you said youwere going to a youth meeting at the Baptist Church.

Icould hardly contain myself, I was so excited, although I did feelout of place, and must have looked the part, in the pretty littledress I had on. All the girls were dressed in their jeans andT-shirts. But it seemed that they were actually accepting me, dressand all that’s all that mattered.

Thecar stopped and I followed them into a building which I soondiscovered was a hotel/pub. It was all so exciting; I could feel myheart pounding and the blood rushing to my face every time someoneactually looked at me. We were all sitting around, and as they girlswere chatting to one another other, I just sat amazed at what I wasseeing, such lovely girls, so full of life and so charming. The nextthing they were ordering drinks and asked me what I would like todrink, and when I answered an orange juice will be good, they all hadsuch a laugh. It seemed that the laughter brought attention to thesmall group of us, and before long a young handsome looking guy camealong to say hello. Before I knew it, he was asking me for mytelephone number. I was in such a state of shock I could not answerhim, but one of the girls, a pretty Jewish young lady, gave it tohim. Walking away, he looked at me and said, “I want yourtelephone number to have with my corn flakes in the morning…”(Little did Iknow what the consequences would be)?

Idon’t know how the evening went passed so quickly but before I knewI was being driven home at about 13H00 in the morning. It was thenthat I remembered my mother and the lie that I had told, what was Igoing to do?

Justwhat I didn’t want, my mother was waiting for me by the front door. She welcomed me home with a hug and said that she had been worriedabout me. She glared at me and sent me to bed. I soon forgot aboutthe lie, all I could see in my dreams were the girls faces, laughingand joking, and I felt a strange sense of being a part of something,just what I wanted, I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to belong andto be a part of them. I was not going to live being the odd girl outanymore….I just knew!

Theweek went by at school and yes, it was somehow different, more girlswere talking to me, and I was the happiest person alive. But then, Iwould sneak a look in the mirror and feel so despondent, who was Itrying to be? I was not part of them; I did not look the part. Thenan even deeper sense of insecurity filled me and a longing like Ihave never known, and such emptiness, I felt so ugly, so stupid andso alone. Next thing, it was Friday, and just as I was walking outof the school gate, one girl shouted at me, hey Judes do you want mybrother to come pick you up we are all going out again tonight. Before thinking, I said yes please and thank you!

Walkingalong the road home my mind was racing thinking about all kinds ofstories that I could tell my mother which I thought would do thetrick, in order to gain her permission and allow me to go out. Laterthat day I managed to pick up the courage and ask her if I could goout that evening. To my amazement she said yes, but as long as Icame home by 11H00. I gave her my promise that I would be home ontime and immediately started getting ready to go out. But then, ohman, I forgot I don’t own a pair of jeans! What could I do? Atthis moment I remembered the girl next door. I ran immediately toask her if I could borrow a pair of jeans. Although she was in adifferent school and spoke a different language, I knew her jeanswould do the trick! Only thing I had to hide them away from mymother. I got the jeans and even better, I got a T-shirt which Ipromised to return the next day. I ran home, put the jeans andT-shirt in a bag, which I hid from my mother and got dressed to goout. I put on my dress and had hidden in the bag, the jeans and theT-shirt thinking to myself, I can hardly wait to put them on! Thegirls arrived with the one girl’s brother to pick me up and off I,knew that I could once we arrived go to the toilet and get changedinto the jeans so that I could be part of them! As I told them inthe car, they just laughed, but I knew that it was a given – Iwould look the part, and for sure I was on my way to becoming a newme, a new me that looked like the rest of my friends and I knew thatdressed in the right way I could be just as pretty as them. What’seven better, I knew that they would like me more and that was whatmattered. I just had to be a part of them! I so wanted to beaccepted as part of the team!

Iwas learning fast, I found out that if I threw my head upside down myhair landed back on my hair with some much more body and volume andwith the jeans and t-shirt, I was starting to look the part, justlike my friends. Only thing is that I had no make-up, but I knewthat when I managed to paint my eyes black, I would look evenprettier. This time when they ordered drinks, I heard this voicearise from within me, a voice that did not even sound like mine, ithad changed, yes, it was more confident and even sounded a littlesmoother – yes please, I’ll have a martini on the rocks. Wowwhere did that come from? I even began to sound rather ‘cute’. Oh, it was all such fun. Fun fun fun, until next thing it was past11H00 and there was no way that any one was going home.

Igot home at 13H30 and my mother was even more upset and had said thatshe would not let me go out again until I could keep my promise toher that I would come home at the given time.

Acouple of weeks had passed, two Friday’s had come and gone, with mehaving to say to the girls I am not allowed to go out because I gothome late. They laughed and said, “Just sort her out”! I wentto school and now I could not wait to get home so that I could go andsleep and dream. I started dreaming about a new me, a new girl onthe block, imagining a whole new image, tight jeans and t-shirts andmake up with lots of hair all messed up. This was so great, myimagination started working full time, I could dream my life away, creating a new me, a new look, a new person. This was it; I was andcould no longer be the same! I did not have to be different fromanyone, I could just like them. (I am so sorry that I did notrealise that I am unique in God’s eyes, one of a kind, so specialand wonderfully made and that it was not God’s will for me to be a‘copy’ of anyone else!)

Surething, some weeks down the line, my mother had forgiven me and saidthat I could go out. This time, there was no messing around; I justtold her that I needed to buy some jeans and t-shirts as I did notfeel comfortable in my dresses anymore. Although she insisted thatI looked wonderful just like I was, my grandfather gave me some ofhis pension money and I ran off to Truworths to buy the long awaitedLevi jeans and T-shirt. Just what I wanted, and even better Inoticed that it was best if the jeans were really tight, that’s theway they wore them. I also managed to, with the change from theoutfit to buy a small little tube of blush. This did the trick; Ieven began to think I was pretty with rosy cheeks and all! Now I justhad to mess up my hair….. I was becoming a new me very fast!

Althoughmy mother said she did not like the blush on my cheeks it seemed thatthe jeans and T-shirt were ok. My “friends”, this is what I nowcalled them, not the girls from school, they had now become close tomy heart and they were definitely not just the girls from my schoolanymore, they were now my real friends, they liked me and I likedthem. Iwas part of the team! Once again we went to the local meeting placebeing the same hotel/pub where everyone in the entire town and thetown next door met. It was the in place to go, with the in people tomix with and the only place to be. I was now getting to know moreand more people and I noticed more and more guys were eyeing me out. Just what I wanted! I wanted to be noticed! Even better the guythat had asked for my telephone number had bumped into me again andjust said, “hello it’s you”, he said that he did not recogniseme, and said that I was even prettier than he had thought!

Itwas Saturday morning; I woke up with my mother calling me to thephone. My head was sore, I felt awfully tired but it did not matter,I had enjoyed myself so last night, but obviously had drank one toomany drinks, so my head was real sore. We had all gone off to someplace where a band was playing, it was so wonderful and what’smore, the guy who had bumped into me again, the one who had asked formy phone number some time back, he was playing guitar in the band. He was so ‘cute’; I really liked him very much. I answered thephone call thinking it was one of the girls, but when I heard thevoice on the other side of the phone, I knew… Oh man, yes, yes itwas him! He chatted a while, laughing a lot and asked if he couldtake me out! I said I would have to ask my mom and that he shouldphone again.

Someweeks passed and to my dismay he did not phone. You see now, Ithought to myself, I had messed up, I should have said yesimmediately. When I told my friends about him and his phone call,they all agreed that I should go out with him and told me that I wasreal stupid if I didn’t as all the girls in town were crazy abouthim.

Butthen, when he did get to phone again, I was ready, ready with ananswer and I could hardly wait to see him. He picked me up and wewent out but this time to another place – another pub of some sort. There were lots and lots of girls and guys around who apparently allknew him. Everyone knew him; everyone liked him, and all the girlswere obviously eyeing him out. I suddenly got a new strength, a newself awareness, a new sense of knowing that I was pretty, after all,I must be, why he had taken me out. Even better he had asked to seeme again and again.

The time went by; I became socaught up in a whole new set of emotions and self awareness. A wholenew person in me began to arise, I liked him and that’s all thatmattered. Even the rest of my friends now became second place. Ifelt like I had arrived; now everyone noticed me, after all I wasnext to his side! Nothing else matter, I just wanted to be his girl.

Somemonths down the line, I began to get an uneasy feeling I knewsomething was up with him. Next thing, I knew was that this guy, theone I had so grown to love was smoking dope. I was beside myself, Iwas so concerned about him, and I cared desperately for him. I wouldjust have to help him. The more I got to know him, the more Irealised there was a problem, he would disappear every now and thenand come back to me with real red eyes, eyes so blood shot! Whenthis happened I noticed a real change in his personality and the waythat he treated me, but it did not matter, I just cared about him toomuch, he was my life, my everything; I did not want to be withoutbeing at his side. I knew I loved him deeply but little did I knowthat it was the ‘kind of love’ that I actually did not need atall!

Themonths and even the years went by; I was now so emotionally involvedwith this guy, broken heart and all. I was so concerned about him,and now the emotional blackmail had begun to take place as he knewthat I was totally committed to being with him and in many waysabused me, but nothing else mattered. A very sad thing happened, Icould not come to grips with what my boy friend was doing so before Iknew it, and I just followed along. The years passed, my life wasnow so messed up, I lived for partying every night, drinking andliving on the edge. I now weighed about 40 Kg and still thought Iwas fat. I had this constant fear of not portraying the correctimage and would at times go for a whole week not eating so that bythe time Friday evening came, I looked the ‘part’. I had to bethin I had to be pretty!

Theyears went passed I became more and more depressed and even though Ihad friends, these friends just made me lonelier than ever. My boyfriend began to see less and less of me and often I would hear from afriend that they had seen him with some other girl. It soon becameapparent to me that, I was not the only girl… Then one day,walking home from work, I felt real sick. Just wanted to throw up. Before I knew, something just snapped inside me and I thought “youare pregnant!”

Thedoctor’s room was a cold experience and a real desperate situationgrabbed a hold of me. Yes, I was pregnant. What now? I decided tojust keep quiet about it, but did not manage to do so, and eventuallyconfided in my parents. Although my father was in a state of shock,my mom and dad agreed to help me and be there for me. Months wentby, and my boy friend, just merely said, oh well, can’t you have anabortion? Some months down the line, the reality that my boy friendactually did not care about me, or about the unborn baby hit me realhard! The reality hit me so hard that “actually I had got it wrong,he did not love me at all, how could he if he did what he did, he didnot care, and he didn’t want his own child. In the midst of suchhurt and confusion, I made a decision to not see him again.

Iwas now six months pregnant and even more desperate about my futurethan before. What would become of me, what would become of my baby! Everything was such a mess, I was so lonely, so depressed and my lifemeant nothing to me at all.

Myson was born, and even worse, he was born with a medical problemwhich required that he would have to undergo surgery. He was twodays old and underwent a seven hour surgical procedure. He was bornwith his oesophagus joined to his lung and not to his stomach. Themedical term is ‘trachea oesophageal fistula’. One year later,my mother and I brought him home for Christmas. He could spendChristmas at home, but then we had to take him back to the Children’shospital. Eventually he came home to stay but my mother had to feedhim through a small glass container which was inserted in his tummy. He could not swallow by mouth. A couple of years later, some kind ofa miracle happened and he could now swallow by mouth and just wentfrom strength to strength. He was growing up. He was the bestlooking little boy around, and everyone made such a fuss of him. Hehad his father’s eyes and obviously at a very early age, even hadhis father’s charm. I, however, did not have much time for playingmother, and started running around partying even more than ever!. This time I was even more lonely and depressed and suffered from suchrejection, I mean my boyfriend of years and years did not ever meanthat he loved me; he did not want me or his child. Deep inside Ifelt so hurt and the only way to live with this was to run, run andparty, drink alcohol and try to hide any feelings that came my way. I pretended I did not care about anything, anyone or my own life, Iall the time there was my precious little baby boy waiting for hismother, for his mother to show him some love. But love, love wassomething I did not know, something that I thought I had once, butobviously I had got it wrong. Now I merely existed day to day,empty, cold without any feelings, or rather trying to think that Ihad no feelings, but deep down such a hollow hurtful place existedwithin me.

Someyears later, the wrong kind of lifestyle took its toll, and onceagain, the deep depression and loneliness hit more than ever. Thedepression, guilt of making a mess of my life and insecurity was morethan I could contain. I realised that I just could not carry on, Icould not do this thing called Life. I was now much older, but evenmore messed up emotionally than before. On many occasions I wouldjust merely disappear for weeks and partied for weeks on end,drinking excessively and not caring about myself or anyone else.

BUT,a strange thing started happening to me, I started getting a scaryfeeling coming over me, a feeling that made me gasp for air,something was tugging at me, and something was making me think I amgoing to die! I started feeling so unclean, so useless, and sohelpless. I realised that all I could do was just to run out andparty some more just to get rid of the feeling. Only thing, I couldnot help myself, this feeling just would not go away. I was soafraid, so desperate and I began to realise that I was in fact goingto die if I did not stop the destructive lifestyle. I had to stopdrinking and I had to eat! I was getting thinner by the day,shrinking more and more into a deep deep dark pit. I suffered fromsevere panic attacks and on numerous occasions found myself runningout into the air as I could not get air into my lungs – I wasdying, of this I was sure.

Oneweekend a friend asked me to go with her to Joburg to help her sistermove house. Her sister was moving from a flat in Joburg to a house. I spent the weekend helping pack and move house. The house that hersister had moved into was such a lovely house and I can remembersleeping in a bedroom, thinking to myself, what if I ask God to giveme a house like this and also my own husband one day, I wonder if Hewould hear me? But then I wondered about God, who was He and did Hehear when I prayed? Oh well it was just a dream and a prayer in thewind… And really who would want me? I was ugly, I was messed up,and I was a disaster!

Oneevening sitting around drinking with friends, some music filled theair… “Knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door, I feel I amknocking on heaven’s door.. (Song by Bob Dylan).” Next thing,all I remember is that I began to run outside, I seemed to be runningand running, running here and running there, but running nowhere. It was all too much for me; it was as if, I was screaming the wordsout of my heart to God? God? I need to know on heaven’s door, buthow do I do this, somewhere in my heart I began to wonder about Godand Heaven. But who was God and where was He? Then I began to runhome in the dark cold evening, it was about three o’clock in themorning. Next thing, I remembered, there was a small church aroundthe corner from my mother’s house. Perhaps if I sat there, I wouldfeel better. So I ran to the church and sat on the step. It wasraining, it was cold and I was so afraid. I don’t know how long Isat there, I don’t know what happened, but what I can remember isthat from nowhere, I heard someone say, “Come here, come and talkto me”. I can remember looking up through tear stained eyes withmascara all down my face, into a face which seemed like a ghost fromnowhere. But then I realised, this was real, this was reallyhappening, there was a man speaking to me, it turned out to be thePastor of the Church. He took my hand and led me along to his officeinside of the church building, where he began to talk to me. I justcried and cried. He started telling me about Jesus and that Jesuscared for me…It was too much, Jesus cared for me, how could He, Iwas so messed up, no-one could possibly care for me! The Pastortold me how he had been sleeping in his bed at home some distancefrom the church, when God woke him up and told him to go to theChurch. He said he did not know why God would send him to the Churchbuilding at 3 o’clock in the morning, but he got in his car anddrove to the church where he had sat in his office just waiting andasking God what he was doing there. He told me that when he hadheard my crying in the distance, he said that at first, he thought hewas imaging that he had heard someone cry, but then as he listenedcarefully and began to walk around the building, he found me, andthen he knew why God had sent him to the Church. It was for me. Godhad sent him to find me and to help me. Can you just imagine, GodHimself sending someone to help me? It was beyond my understandingand yes, I was grateful. As I began to listen to the Pastor tell meabout Jesus and as I told him about myself and my messed up life andhow depressed and lonely I was, I just knew that I should pray withthe Pastor and knew that if I did not I would surely die. The Pastorled me in a prayer, to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, which Idid. He then drove me home and I slept like I had not slept foryears, I slept for about three days and nights without waking. Ijust slept and slept and I dreamed about Jesus, who was He really? How did this all happen to me? One thing for sure is that I knewthat something had happened to me! I could see His wonderful handsreaching out to me, I could feel His presence. I did not want towake up, this was so so beautiful, it was so beyond my thinking thatI was accepted just as I was; I did not have to try and be somethingor someone else to be accepted!.

Iwoke up so refreshed, felt so beautiful and so different. I felt soclean and so strong, I felt like someone had refilled my very beingwith strength. I went to wash my face, and to my surprise I looksdifferent, my eyes seemed to be shinning and I thought to myself,funny thing, I think I look a bit like the little girl I had thoughtwas so odd! Now I did not think I looked odd, I thought I lookedlovely. I asked my mother to take me to her Pastor’s house as Iwanted to talk about what had happened to me. I went along to theBaptist Pastor and his wife, where we spent several hours praying andspeaking about God. The Pastor helped me in leading me in a prayerwhere I repented of my past life and of all my known sins. I ranhome, I could not walk I just wanted to run and jump for joy. I knewthat I knew that I knew I would never ever be the same again! I wasfree, I had been born-again, and Jesus had met with me and had takenme as His own! I would never ever be the same!

Theyears went by; I now lived such a different life. I went to work, Iwent home and spent the rest of my time with my mother and father andmy son. He had grown into such a beautiful child, I loved himdearly. And I went to Church. I had been taught so much about Jesusand I had developed a personal relationship with my God. I spenthours and hours reading His Word and I was so grateful for Hiswonderful love and that He had saved me from a life of darkness andloneliness.

Sometimeyears down the line, I met him, a real man, a Christian man and a manthat loved God! It was through a prison ministry that I had comeinto contact with him, him being, the man God had given to me! Someyears went by and the next thing, I knew that I would be marryingthis man. I knew that God had given him to me. He asked me to marryhim and I said yes!

Sometwo years later, my husband to be, had come to pick me up and wasdriving me to my new house, the house where I would live when I hadmarried him. As we were driving up the driveway I began to get thisfeeling that I knew this house, and yes! I did know the house. Itwas the very same house that I had prayed and had asked God to giveme a house like this and a husband. On confirming with my husband tobe, it was the same house as he had moved in after my friend’ssister had moved out. God had given me the very house I had prayedfor years back…..

Ihave spent many years married to the man that God gave me, PastorKen, and we have been through some tough times but also suchwonderful times.

Afew years back I discovered that I had breast cancer. This resultedin me having to undergo first a subcutaneous mastectomy, i.e. theremoval of approximately 25% of each breast. However not longafterwards the cancer came back and I had to undergo a radicalmastectomy and also the removal of my lymph glands. At first Ithought, “How can I ever live without breasts, how can I live withmy body so incomplete?” What I have however grown to understand isthat I am not incomplete, In Jesus I am completely whole! At first Ithought, how can I love myself now, how can anyone love me withoutbreasts! The same old ugly thoughts started coming back, I am ugly… BUT now I have come to realise that I am even more beautiful thanever. The beauty that I have in my heart will always overshadow anyphysical beauty, because after all as I walk in His love, my heart isso beautiful that no one would and could ever think me ‘unbeautiful’. Having being told that I probably have three months to live left mewith no alternative but to realise that I had to seek God on thematter. I knew that I had to find out what God said about thematter. Was it His plan for my life? Was it His plan for me to dieand not live? I searched His Word and found out that there are somany healing scriptures that it was definitely not God’s Will forme to die, I realised that Jesus came to give life and that God wasnot the author of this horrible disease. Then I realised that I hadto make a decision, I had either to believe the Doctor’s report orI had to believe what God said. I realised that God’s report says,“I am healed, I am free, I have the victory”. It was not easyrenewing my mind, casting down every negative thought and replacingthese with the Word of God and His promises, but at the end of theday, God has the final say! Mark11:22- 26:SoJesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. Forassuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain ‘be removedand cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, butbelieves that those things he says will be done, he will havewhatever he says. “Therefore, I say to you, whatever things youask when you pray, believe that you have them” “And whenever youstand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, thatyour Father in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But ifyou do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive yourtrespasses”. God’s Wordbecame a reality in my life. I had to have faith in God, I had tospeak to the mountain, I had to say, ’breast cancer be removed andcast into the sea’. God says, if you believe in your heart, thatwhatsoever things you pray, when you pray believe you receive and youwill have what you say! I had to speak healing over myself, I had tostand upon my own faith and make a decision to believe what God’sWord says. I knew what the Will of God was, I knew that He wanted mehealed and did not want me to die! I knew that sickness was not fromGod, I knew that God loved me and that He did not want me sick. Jesus died for me, He died for me so that I may have life, that I maywalk in health and in prosperity and I did not have to accept thissickness in my body. It had no place in me, I belonged to God and Iwas His child and He wanted me healed. My healing started when Iknew what God wanted for me! As I spoke out the Word of God, myfaith grew and I knew it was a done deal, I knew that the matter wassettled and that God had already done it, I just had to receive myhealing. I became so excited about knowing that as I meditated andspoke God’s Word it was becoming a reality in my life! As I spokeout God’s Word and meditated upon it His Words became alive in meand I could not tolerate any negative thought coming into my mind, Iclosed my ears, I closed my thoughts to hearing the words that I wassick. I was not sick, even though I felt the symptoms, I knew that Iwas healed, I knew God’s will and it became my will, I wanted tolive and not die. I was going to live and I was not going to diesoon from this or any other sickness. One thing I also realised isthat, I had to forgive my boyfriend, as for years I had being livingwith so many hurts that I had not let go off. I learnt how with thestrength of God, to let it go… Day by day I became stronger and dayby day the reality that God’s Word is alive and sharper than anytwo edged sword was before me, before my eyes, before my ears beforeanything! It was so powerful. God is Almighty and Holy and in Himis no darkness! Healing is part of living in His light shinning in adark world. Arise and shine for your light has come!

Ihave discovered that to live and really live, is that you have toknow what God’s Word says about your life in order to know how youshould live it.. I know that the only way, is to declare HisGoodness and to feed upon His Word, for then one will know how muchGod loves you… To live is to be changed into His Image, from onedegree of glory to the next, until we see Him face to face!

Ihave realised that it’s all about believing God’s Word, justbelieve, receive and rejoice! God is faithful His love is what it isall about! In sharing His love, I grow stronger in every area of mylife…. It never stops! Day by day I am being changed and love Himmore and more!

Iknow that the Lord has called me to share about His Goodness and Iwould be happy to share with anyone and or to encourage those whoneed a word of hope.

Itis such a wonderful thing to belong to the Most High God and knowJesus as my Lord and Saviour. He is the LIGHT OF THE WORLD, A LIGHTSHINNING OUT IN THE DARKNESS, don’t waste time living in thedarkness, run to the light, run to Jesus, run as fast as you can! His arms are wide open and He is waiting for you…..

Ifyou need to phone me, I’d love to talk to you about Jesus…….

Mytelephone numbers are:

Home:(011) 943-1921