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DIETER'S LAMENT

Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>

MY APPETITE IS MY SHEPHERD.
I ALWAYS WANT.
IT MAKETH ME TO SIT DOWN AND STUFF MYSELF.
IT LEADETH ME TO MY REFRIGERATOR REPEATEDLY.
IT LEADETH ME IN THE PATH OF BURGER KING FOR A WHOPPER.
IT DESTROYETH MY SHAPE.

YEA, THOUGH I KNOWETH I GAINETH,
I WILL NOT STOP EATING,
FOR THE FOOD TASTETH SO GOOD.
THE ICE CREAM AND COOKIES, THEY COMFORT ME.
WHEN THE TABLE IS SPREAD BEFORE ME, IT EXCITETH ME,
FOR I KNOWETH THAT SOON I SHALL DIG IN.

AS I FILLETH MY PLATE CONTINUOUSLY,
MY CLOTHES RUNNETH SMALLER.
SURELY BULGES AND EXCESS WEIGHT SHALL
FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE
AND I WILL BE FAT FOREVER.