IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE Thursday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless
of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component
of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in
all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential
Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily
expressed.
Some other symptoms:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish, or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing
factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden
of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please
upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT
from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving
Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the
Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence
on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any
manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous
to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free
emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as
to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention.
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!!!
Ingredients:
1 part of knowing who you are
1 part of knowing who you aren't
1 part of knowing what you want
1 part of knowing who you wish to be
1 part of knowing what you already have
1 part of choosing wisely from what you have
1 part of loving and thanking God for ALL you have
Combine ingredients together gently
finely blended. Use thoughts,
words and actions for best results.
Bake until Blessed. Give thanks
again Yield: Unlimited servings
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