Quote from Forum Archives on March 27, 2006, 1:32 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"10 Things You Rarely Hear in Church"

 

 

1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon
     went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable
     than golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I
     used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the
     Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay
     our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar
     in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment
     like our annual stewardship campaign!

 

 

"ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS"

 

 

When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody, would say their nightly prayers, together. As most children do, we have to bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

 

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."

 

As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

 

Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

 

 

"SAY A PRAYER"

 

 

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

 

"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."

 

"I don't have to," The boy replied.

 

"Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."

 

"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>