Quote from Forum Archives on August 10, 2005, 4:14 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Angel"

 

 

Our 13 year old niece spent last night with us.  When
we dropped her off at home, my sister-in-law asked
how she behaved.  "She was an angel," I informed her.

 

"Really?" she questioned.

 

"Yes, really.  A perfect angel." I assured her.

 

"I just don't understand.  Whenever she is with you she
is well behaved.  Whenever she is at home, she is a
monster.  She misbehaves for everyone else.  In fact, the teachers at
her school drew straws to see who would be stuck with her in their
class.  How come she always behaves for you?"  My sister in law asked.

 

"I don't know.  I guess I just have a way with children.  I also try to
educate them as well.  A child is never to young to learn."  I answered.

 

"What do you mean.  What did you teach her?" She inquired.

 

"Well, for instance, children need to learn about death and dying so
they better understand this process.  I explained this concept very
carefully to her."  I informed my sister-in-law.

 

"Really?  You explained this to her at 13?" She asked dumbfounded.

 

"Well actually she was much younger when I explained
this.  She now understands death perfectly.  Which is
good, because it makes threatening her with it, much more effective."

 

 

"Gabriel and the Southerners" 
 

Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have some Southerners up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."
 
The Lord said, "Southerners are southerners, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."
 
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Hold on a minute. " The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"
 
Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."
 
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"
 
Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
 
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on."
 
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Southerners have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."

 

 "People Are Like Potatoes"

 

 

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others
what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.
They are called "Dick Tators"

Some people never seem motivated to participate,
but are just content to watch while others do the work.
They are called "Speck Tators".
 

Some people never do anything to help, but are
gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.
They are called "Comment Tators".
 

Some people are always looking to cause
problems by asking others to agree with them.
It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They are called "Agie Tators".

There are those who say they will help, but somehow
just never get around to actually doing the promised help.
They are called "Hezzie Tators".

Some people can put up a front and
pretend to be someone they are not.
They are called "Emma Tators".

Then there are those who love and do what they say they
will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing
and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.
They are called "Sweet Tators".

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

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