Quote from Forum Archives on October 6, 2005, 12:13 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Arizona Vacation"

 

On doctor's orders, Johnny had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.
Johnny's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.

 

"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

 

"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him."

 

"Airline Ticket"

 

 

As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a
man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't
happy with the price of $59 per ticket.

 

"I want the $49 fare I saw advertised," he insisted,
saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed
to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. "I'll take it,"
he said, then worried his wife might not like the
early hour.

 

I warned there was a fee of $25 per person if he
changed the reservation.

 

"Oh, that's no problem," he said dismissively. "What's
fifty bucks?"

 

 

"Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear"

 

 

 1. The dentist says: "This won't hurt a bit."
 2. The IRS announces: "We are simplifying the tax
        forms."
 3. Your lawyer says: "This is an air-tight case-- you
        can't lose."
 4. Your stock broker says: "This little drop in the
        market is just a minor correction."
 5. Your physician says: "You're in great shape--
        you'll live to be 100!"
 6. Your business partner says: "Nothing can possibly
        go wrong."
 7. Your best friend says: "Trust me--
        I'll never tell a soul."
 8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say:
        "Even a child can do it."
 9. Your colleagues say: "We're behind you 100%--
         we'll back you up."
10. Someone giving you directions says:
        "You can't miss it."
11. The airline pilot announces: "Just a bit of
        turbulence folks-- nothing to worry about."
12. A voice on the telephone says: "Congratulations!
        You're an instant winner!"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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