Quote from Forum Archives on March 24, 2006, 2:23 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Bad Day Fishing"

 

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun
all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped
at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

 

He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at
me, will you?"

 

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

 

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

 

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

 

"But why?"

 

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by,
I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."

 

"Just Pretend"

 

 

Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing
boat together, it was the husband who was behind the
wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about
what might happen in an emergency.
So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey,
take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart
attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock
it."
So she drove the boat to shore and safely docked it.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room
where her husband was reading a novel. She sat down
next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him,
"Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having a heart
attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the
dishes."

 

 

"Blind Lady"

 

 

My brother Josh was driving while Mom gave him directions to her customer's house, where they were to install venetian blinds. Having been to the woman's house only once before, Mom was unsure when they approached an intersection. "I believe you turn at the next corner," she said. But as they went through it, she realized they should have turned. "Wait! This is the corner!" Josh stopped, backed up and turned.

 

Just after they passed the first corner, Mom said: "Stop! I think you turn here." Josh stopped, backed up and turned.

 

A short distance down the street, Mom said: "Wait! We just passed their driveway." Josh stopped, backed up and turned into the driveway.

 

The customer's brother had been watching them through the window. "Who's that?" he asked his sister.

 

"Oh, that's my blind lady," she replied.

 

"Well, that explains it!" he said.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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