Man…does not do evil against his will, under pressure, as though he were taken by the scruff of the neck and dragged into it, like a thief…being dragged off against his will to punishment; but he does it spontaneously and voluntarily. And this willingness or volition is something which he cannot in his own strength eliminate, restrain or alter.
Martin Luther

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"Bulletin Bloopers" Friday

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#1 · February 9, 2006, 12:27 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Bulletin Bloopers"
 
 
Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
 
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a
check and drip in the collection basket.
 
Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
 
Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will
give the medication.
 
Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
 
Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter
October 12 thru 17.
 
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
 
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds
around the church building and the rector.
 
Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
 
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in
the foyer.
 
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
 
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
 
The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's
Cathedral.
 
The District Superintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
 
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
 
Fifth Sinday is Lent.
 
Thank you, dead friends.
 
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
 
Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
 
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
 
For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the
dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
 
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
 
Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.
 
The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.
 
Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
 
We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
 
 
"Church Bulletin Bloopers 2006"
 
Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to
recovery, for which we are thankful.
 
The Jack and Kill Daycare is looking for someone to help part time on
Saturdays.
 
We'll kick off the Christmas season this morning with our first hymn,
"The First Nowell"
 
Our Wednesday Night Family Cafeteria meal will feature a variety of
Chinese dishes including One Ton Soup.
 
Events:  December 9th, Christmas Caroling at the Parkview Nursing Home
7:00 p.m.,  December 10th, Breakfast with Satan 6:00 to 9:00 a.m. in the
Fellowship Hall.
 
Saturday the Youth Group will Serenade a number of our Seniors with
Christmas Thongs.
 
The Youth Group had a scavenger hunt, did face painting, and played a
game called, "Find the gun."  They had a great time.
 
The Pastor's Corner:  A Personal Massage from Jesus
 
Don't forget to make some New Year's Resolutions.  It's a great way to
start off with a new ear.
 
Due to Construction on the North side of the parking lot, we will soon
be changing entrances.  Please exit the new driveway which is the one in
between the old entrance and the old exit.  Please exit from the new
exit which is the old entrance.
 
Our Senior's group is sponsoring a dance December 12.  You can Dance the
Night Away from 5:00 until 7:00 p.m. for only $5 per person.
 
What are you doing for Lunch Tuesday?  Local Funeral Director Barry
Gilbert will talk about the benefits of cremation.
 
The Riegieman Chiropractic Center will host Kid's Day this Saturday. 
They'll be treating the youth group to spinal exams, backpack checks,
I.D. Cards, etc.
 
Remember We're still collecting items for Hurricane Katrina Victims.  We
can expecially use itmes like househole toilet tissue, bleach.......
 
"More Bulletin Blooopers"
 
 
We are thankful for those of you who have helped make the church
grounds so beautiful, especially all the ladies who have been working
in beds around the church.
 
We are pleased with the fundraising effort for the new church van.
It has really raised our expectorations for future projects.
 
Special thanks to the Men's Group for their help groveling the church
driveway.
 
In this month of thanksgiving, the theme is quite fitting because I
am thankful to serve in such a losing church.
 
Sunday's pastor appreciation service was great. Even though October
is pastor appreciation month, I want you to know that you make me
feel depreciated every month of the year.
 
We have a need for more hellers in the choir sessions for children
grades 1-6 on Wednesday nights.
 
The WINGS group annual Holiday Bazaar will be held Saturday, Nov 18,
from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Tickets are on sale for $5 each and may
be purchased from anyone with WINGS.
 
I really appreciate your generous spirit in not only providing items
needed for these kids, but in giving of your time to put them
together.
 
This is the last week to drop off items for the food pantry. Please
see the church secretary for special arrangements, or drop them off
at the church before the Bizarre activity starts Saturday. Any help
is appreciated. Thank You.
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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