Christian joy can only be realized, when Christ reigns there, alone and uninterruptedly. If the world is permitted to occupy a larger share of the affections and the heart – if plain and known duty is neglected – if the means of grace are carelessly used – if in all your efforts, your duties, and your services – whether in the Church or in the world, you do not entreat the Divine blessing and the Divine aid – then the Spirit of God is grieved. He withdraws His cheering influence; and it is utterly impossible to have the peace and joy, which flow from the inward, abiding presence of the Savior – and which is the work – the entire work, of His Divine Spirit, the true and only comforter.
William Cowper

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"Church Pencils" Tuesday

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#1 · March 27, 2006, 2:41 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Church Pencils"
 
 
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from
its regular office supply dealer.  So, the dealer telephoned
Deacon Brown to ask why.  "I'll tell you why," scolded Deacon
Brown.  "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used
in the pews for visitors to register."
 
"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"
 
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.
 
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with
the words, "Play Golf Next Sunday."
 
 
"Offering Plates"
 
The church I serve has a summer ministry at a chapel.
At our first service last summer, the chairman of the
board of deacons met me at the door with the
information that there were no offering plates to be
found. None of the men wore hats, and he thought it
undignified to pass a shoe. He had tried to borrow
something suitable from a house nearby, but no one
was home.
When I went to the chancel to begin the service, the
problem was still unsolved.
Time came for the offering, and two ushers walked
down the aisle wearing broad grins and carrying shiny
receptacles. The deacon had resourcefully borrowed
two hubcaps from a parishioner's car.
 

 
"Before Computers"
 
* Memory- was something you lost with age.
 
*  An Application- was for employment.
 
*  A Program- was a TV show.
 
*  A Cursor- used profanity.
 
*  A Keyboard- was a piano.
 
*  A Web- was a spider's home.
 
*  A Virus- was the flu.
 
*  A CD- was a bank account.
 
*  A Hard Drive- was a long trip on the road.
 
*  A Mouse Pad- was where a mouse lived.
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
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