Doc's Daily Chuckle 12/22/14
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
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In the spirit of Christmas, a couple of humorous stories
found involving children celebrating the real meaning.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. The Christmas Pagent
2. A Real-Life Christas Parenting Funny
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The Christmas Pagent
My husband and I had been happily married (most of the
time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.
I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that
if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother,
love it with all my heart and raise it with His Word as my
guide.
God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.
The next year God blessed us with another son.
The following year, he blessed us with yet another son.
The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.
My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.
We now had four children, and the oldest was only four
years old.
I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant
it as a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain,
make sure you carry an umbrella."
I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children
each day as they lay in their cribs...
I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four
children and I didn't want to disappoint Him.
I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two
dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.
I tried to be understanding when they started a hotel for
homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me
nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.
When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled
up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog,I tried
to see the humor rather than the mess.
In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers, never
eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty
minutes at a time, I still thank God daily for my children.
While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother
(I didn't even come close), I did keep my promise to
raise them in the Word of God.
I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told
My daughter we were going to church to worship God, and
she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to "wash up"
Jesus, too.
Something was lost in the translation when I explained
that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought
it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."
My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas
pageant.
My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds
and my youngest son was a wise man. This was their moment
to shine.
My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line, "We found
the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes."
But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in
wrinkled clothes."
My four-year-old "Mary" said, "That's not 'wrinkled clothes,'
silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes."
A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd
and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost
her left wing.
I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped
the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the
aisle crying, "Mama-mama."
Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it
tightly as the wise men arrived.
My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a
paper crown, knelt at the manger and announced, "We are
the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold,
common sense and fur."
The congregation dissolved into laughter, and the pageant
got a standing ovation.
"I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this
one," laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes.
"For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas
story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur."
"My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest
blessing," I said as I dug through my purse for an
aspirin.
- from Anna R.
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Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas
every day. - Helen Steiner Rice
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A Real-Life Christas Parenting Funny
By Bill Allison
Shortly after the birth of our first child, we, as followers
of Jesus, were confronted with the challenge of celebrating
Christmas accurately. We are NOT the hyper-spiritual, party-
pooping kind of parents who believe that Santa is just a weird
way to spell Satan. On the other hand, we really wanted our kids
to celebrate the real reason for Christmas -the birth of Jesus
Christ - from which we get the word CHRISTmas.
What to do?
For the first several years, we simply focused on Jesus and his
birthday - no anti-Santa stuff - and it worked great. However,
Stacy and I sensed that with each passing year - as our children
grew and became more inquisitive�we would have to deal with the
"Santa issue."
As the next Christmas crept up on us, we decided to research Santa.
Of course, we found out that Saint Nick was a Christian man who
lived long ago - and, in short, was famous for helping the poor -
get this -by sneaking into homes and leaving gifts. With this
information in hand, we patiently waited for one of our brilliant
kids to ask about the fat guy in the red suit.
As fate would have it, shortly after we did our research, Billy,
my then 3-year-old son, asked my wife (while I was away at work -
thankfully), "Is there really a Santa?"
My wife, nervous but poised for this question, launched into something
just slightly less than an oral doctoral dissertation entitled, "Santa:
Jolly Fat Man in a Red Suit or Good Christian Man of Old?" Throughout
the informative historical lecture concerning the original Saint Nick -
a Christian man who generously helped the poor - my 3-year-old son
listened the best any active little boy possibly could - which was
not too good.
After the dissertation, Billy asked one simple question: "Is Santa
still alive today?"
Stacy thought and then responded, "No. But at Christmas many people
dress up in honor of him and his generosity to others."
Billy simply said, "OK." And with that, he went off to play happily -
probably torturing his sisters in some creative fashion.
The next day, as my wife was Christmas shopping with our children,
one of the well-meaning grandma-type clerks at Kmart approached my
son and asked, "Is Santa going to bring you lots of toys this year,
little boy?"
To my wife's absolute horror, my son looked the clerk squarely in
the eyes and adamantly said, "Santa's dead!"
- by Bill Allison, a disciple-making missionary with Cadre Ministries.
His blog can be found at http://www.cupojoewithbill.com
Copyright 2013 Bill Allison. Permission is granted to send this to
others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
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Please pray for: John, Barb, Olivia, Kenzel, Joyice, Jay, Alberta, Jan.
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