Quote from Forum Archives on September 27, 2005, 1:58 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"FAMOUS LAST WORDS"

 

 

* What does this button do?

 

* It's probably just a rash.

 

* Are you sure the power is off?

 

* Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

 

* The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

 

* Pull the pin and count to what?

 

* Which wire was I supposed to cut?

 

* I wonder where the mother bear is.

 

* I've seen this done on TV.

 

* These are the good kind of mushrooms.

 

* I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

 

* Let it down slowly.

 

* Rat poison only kills rats.

 

* It's strong enough for both of us.

 

* This doesn't taste right.

 

* I can make this light before it changes.

 

* Nice doggie.

 

* I can do that with my eyes closed.

 

* I've done this before.

 

* Well, we've made it this far.

 

* That's odd.

 

* You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?

 

* Don't be so superstitious.

 

* Now watch this.

 

 

"Why The Enthusiasm"

 

 

Mrs.  Johnson the elementary school math teacher was
having children do problems on the blackboard that day.

 

"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"

 

No one raised their hand.  She called on Tommy, and
with some help he finally got it right.

 

"Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?"

 

Students hid their faces.  She called on Mark, who got
the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend
Lisa whispered it to him.

 

"Who would like to do the third problem, division?"

 

Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone
looked at nothing in particular.  The teacher called on
Suzy, who got it right

 

"Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?"

 

Johnny's hand shot up, surprising everyone in the room. 
Mrs. Johnson finally gained her composure in the stunned
silence. 

 

"Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?"
"The Bible says to go fourth and multiply!"

 

 

"NO EXCUSE"

 

 

On the church newsletter were these instructions - Hold this
paper close to your nose and breath deeply. If the sheet
turns green, you need to see a doctor. If it turns blue see
your dentist. If it turns red see your bank manager. If it turns
black, you need to check your will, so see your lawyer
immediately. If, however, it does not change color then there
is nothing wrong with you, and there is *no* reason why
you shouldn't be in church next week.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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