Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

"First Prize"

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"First Prize"
 
 
A little boy took his dog on a "take your pet to school" day. There were
prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest
pet.
 
Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole
series of tricks.
 
Finally, the boy turned to his dog and asked,
 
"Mindy, how much is two plus two, minus four?"
 
The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent.
 
"Right!" exclaimed the boy.
 
His dog won first prize.
 
 
"The Pessimist and a Dog"
 
 
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a
pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds
the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can
only find the negative in the positive.
 
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market
for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found
a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a
duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his
friends would ever believe him.
 
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of
his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt
with him and his new dog.
 
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink
but instead walked across the water to retrieve the
bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This
continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog
walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
 
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but
did not say a single word.
 
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did
you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
 
"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
 
 
"Can My Dog Stay at Your Hotel"
 
 
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to
visit on his vacation. He wrote:"I would very much like to bring my dog
with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing
to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
 
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been
operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a
dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being
drunk and
disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes,
indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch
for you, you're welcome to stay here,
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 

 
 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>