Quote from Forum Archives on August 4, 2005, 2:08 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Flying"

 

 

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. on behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard American Airlines flight 602 from New York to Punta
Cana. You are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet going South
over the Atlantic.

 

If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

 

If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off.

 

If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little
yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.

 

That's me, your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the stewardresses.
This is a recorded message."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Cockpit"

 

 

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle,
there is a full size mockup of an F/A-18
fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into
the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot
sees and feels. A guide at the top of the ramp
points out the various controls and gauges in
the cockpit and gives information about the
aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets
in.
When my two-year-old son sat down in the
plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw
and heard. Then, he looked out at us and
said, "Gramma, could I have a quarter?"

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ultrasound"

 

 

A couple I know is pregnant with their fourth child.
When they were in getting an ultrasound, the nurse
asked if they wanted to know what the baby was.
The father said they would, only if it was a girl.
The nurse replied, "One of them is."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"School Bus"

 

 

It was the first day of school, after summer vacations
and time for me to pick up the children in my school
bus and take them home again.
After I had made the complete run that afternoon, one
little boy remained on the bus.
Thinking he had simply missed his stop, I started driving
slowly back through the neighborhood and asked him to
be sure to let me know if any of the houses or people
looked familiar.
The boy sat in his seat contentedly and shook his head
whenever I asked him if he recognized a person or place.
After the second unsuccessful tour of the area, I started
back to the school to ask for his address.
When we arrived, the child got off the bus and started
walking away.
"Wait!" I called. "We have to go inside and find out
where you live."
"I live right there," he said, pointing to a house across
the street. "I just always wanted to ride in a school bus."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>