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Happiest Man Tuesday
#1 · July 26, 2005, 1:06 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Happiest Man"
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be
three in this house instead of two."
work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be
three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife
said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way because
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."
"Bad Day"
Joe calls home one day late in the afternoon and
tells his wife that he's had a really bad day and hopes
that dinner will be on the table when he gets home.
tells his wife that he's had a really bad day and hopes
that dinner will be on the table when he gets home.
When he arrives, he sees a package of pasta, a jar
of sauce, and a can of vegetables on the table.
of sauce, and a can of vegetables on the table.
"Jane," he says, "I specifically asked that dinner
be on the table when I got home!"
be on the table when I got home!"
"Yes," Jane replies, "and there it is. You didn't
say anything about it being prepared!"
say anything about it being prepared!"
"Charity"
A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked
to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for
her charitable impulses.
to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for
her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw
your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family
in this district. The father of the family is dead, the
mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are
starving. They are about to be turned into the cold,
empty streets unless someone pays their rent,
which amounts to $400."
your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family
in this district. The father of the family is dead, the
mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are
starving. They are about to be turned into the cold,
empty streets unless someone pays their rent,
which amounts to $400."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife.
"May I ask who you are?"
"May I ask who you are?"
They sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief
to his eyes.
to his eyes.
"I'm the landlord!"
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Dave and Barbara
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