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"HIGHER POWER" Friday
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#1 · September 16, 2005, 11:19 am
Quote from Forum Archives on September 16, 2005, 11:19 amPosted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Day of Prayer"President Bush has declared Friday a day of prayer for the hurricane victims.Please join together with other Americans and Canadians in asking that God give us all the physical and spiritual strength to work through this crisis and rebuild.Please join in the prayer for the residents of Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama and North Carolina. Grant them the patience and strength as they deal with the aftermath of Katrina and Ophelia."HIGHER POWER"A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!""THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD"A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task --but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.""MOSES & THE RED SEA"Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
school."Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.""Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked."Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!""Last Night"A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One
Friday night she returned home very late from a party.The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the
newspaper and came back into the house frowning.At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her
father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?""Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk with the
paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."Have a Blessed Weekend
Dave and BarbaraNecessary Legal InformationWe do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Day of Prayer"
President Bush has declared Friday a day of prayer for the hurricane victims.
Please join together with other Americans and Canadians in asking that God give us all the physical and spiritual strength to work through this crisis and rebuild.
Please join in the prayer for the residents of Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama and North Carolina. Grant them the patience and strength as they deal with the aftermath of Katrina and Ophelia.
"HIGHER POWER"
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"
"THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD"
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task --but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
"MOSES & THE RED SEA"
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
school.
school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
"Last Night"
A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One
Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the
newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her
father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk with the
paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
Have a Blessed Weekend
Dave and Barbara
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>
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