I Promise Tuesday

#1 · October 17, 2005, 11:12 am

Quote from Forum Archives on October 17, 2005, 11:12 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"I Promise"

Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound
determination to become Charles Atlas, the
father nevertheless followed the teenager over
to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set
of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy,
"I promise I'll use 'em every day."

"I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment
on your part," the father pointed out.

"Please, Dad?" the boy continued.

"They're not cheap either," the father came back.

"I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see."

Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment
and headed for the door. From the corner of the
store he heard his son yelp, "What!? You mean
I have to carry them to the car?"

"Previous Employment"

The employer asked the applicant,
"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist,"
"Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win.

If I was late to work, I was hostile.
If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was
on time, I was compulsive."

"Abraham Lincoln"

When Abraham Lincoln was running for Congress in the middle
1840's, he ran against a Hellfire and Brimstone Methodist preacher
who campaigned against Lincoln, calling him a heretic because he
wasn't a regular churchgoer. One Sunday, Lincoln came to the
church where the preacher was giving a sermon and sat down in the
back. The preacher spotted Lincoln and thought to himself, "Now,
I've got him."

He spoke to the congregation and said, "I want everyone who thinks
they're going to Heaven to stand." Everyone stood except Lincoln.

Then the Preacher spoke again and said, "I want everyone who thinks
they're going to Hell to stand." Lincoln remained seated.

The Preacher thought to himself that he had Lincoln for sure now and
said: "Well, Mr Lincoln, just where do you *THINK* you're going?"

Lincoln stood, put his hat on, and turned to leave. Over his
shoulder, he said, "Well, I EXPECT to go to CONGRESS!"

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"I Promise"

Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound
determination to become Charles Atlas, the
father nevertheless followed the teenager over
to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set
of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy,
"I promise I'll use 'em every day."

"I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment
on your part," the father pointed out.

"Please, Dad?" the boy continued.

"They're not cheap either," the father came back.

"I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see."

Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment
and headed for the door. From the corner of the
store he heard his son yelp, "What!? You mean
I have to carry them to the car?"

"Previous Employment"

The employer asked the applicant,
"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist,"
"Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win.

If I was late to work, I was hostile.
If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was
on time, I was compulsive."

"Abraham Lincoln"

When Abraham Lincoln was running for Congress in the middle
1840's, he ran against a Hellfire and Brimstone Methodist preacher
who campaigned against Lincoln, calling him a heretic because he
wasn't a regular churchgoer. One Sunday, Lincoln came to the
church where the preacher was giving a sermon and sat down in the
back. The preacher spotted Lincoln and thought to himself, "Now,
I've got him."

He spoke to the congregation and said, "I want everyone who thinks
they're going to Heaven to stand." Everyone stood except Lincoln.

Then the Preacher spoke again and said, "I want everyone who thinks
they're going to Hell to stand." Lincoln remained seated.

The Preacher thought to himself that he had Lincoln for sure now and
said: "Well, Mr Lincoln, just where do you *THINK* you're going?"

Lincoln stood, put his hat on, and turned to leave. Over his
shoulder, he said, "Well, I EXPECT to go to CONGRESS!"

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>