Quote from Forum Archives on November 22, 2005, 9:56 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Is He a Good Dentist"

 

 

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going
to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.

 

His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a
few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"

 

"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole
hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when
it hit me in the stomach.
That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

 

 

"You Going To Fish"

 

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam
consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the
other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would
come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer
was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden,
curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman
invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.

 

So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in
Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam
stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.

 

Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of
dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked
the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began
to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.

 

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden.
When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling
at Sam. "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You
will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

 

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another
stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the
game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit there
all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"

 

 

"Unavoidable Laws of Life"

 

 

When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)

 

A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)

 

When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)

 

Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)

 

When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)

 

If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)

 

Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)

 

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)

 

Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)

 

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)

 

The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)

 

The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)

 

Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)"

 

Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo.(The donking principle)

 

After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)

 

Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)

 

Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway." (Theory of absolute certainty)

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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