Quote from Forum Archives on December 7, 2005, 10:00 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Leroy The Redneck Reindeer"

 

 

Well, you've all heard about Rudolph and his nose,
But I'll tell you a Christmas tale that never has been told.
Well, you may think you've heard it all but you ain't heard yet.
About that crazy Christmas that the North pole can't forget.

 

Rudolph was under the weather, he had to call in sick.

So he got on the horn to his cousin Leroy, who lived out in the sticks.
He said: "Santa's really counting on me and I hate to pass the buck."
Leroy said "Hey I'm on my way," and he jumped in his pick-up truck.

 

When Leroy got to the North Pole all the reindeer snickered and laughed.
They'd never seen a deer in overalls and a John Deere Tractor hat.

But Santa stepped in and said: "Just calm down cause we've all got a job to do.
"And like it or not, Leroy's in charge, and he's gonna be leading you."

And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

Before that night was over, Leroy had changed their tune.
He had them scootin' a hoof on every single roof, by the light of a neon moon.
Santa wrapped his bag with a Dixie flag, he was having the time of his life.
And you can hear him call Merry Christmas y'all, and to all of y'all a good night.

 

And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

 

He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

 

"Boys and Girls"

 

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are
created equal, but boys and girls are not born the same.

1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You
throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit
him in the nose.

2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look
just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You
dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud
puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy,
except it's a good-smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what
nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a
gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them
up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls,
they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got
cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in
their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start
painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost
instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy
accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because they're too lazy to cut
them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice -
but because they can dig them into a boy's arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age,
boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age
of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them
with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn
how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you
turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie
three times in a row.

14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

 

 

"Church Announcements"

 

 

From bulletin boards:

 

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall

after the B.S. is done.

 

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for

the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

 

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

 

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

 

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m.

The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 

Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

 

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door

at the side entrance.

 

Don't let worry kill you, the church can help.

 

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

 

Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers,

please see the minister.

 

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began

in their school days.

 

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

 

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

 

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

 

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

 

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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