The greatest awakening in the history of the church took place when…(preachers) were bold enough to proclaim the Word of God and saw their task to be presenting the unembellished, undiluted, unvarnished Word of God. That is why they pored over the texts of Scripture, being careful of their exegesis before they entered the pulpit. Because that was the center of their task, they were fearless. Their fearlessness, their boldness, their courage came from the conviction that what they were preaching and teaching was the Word of God.
R.C. Sproul

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Missing Thursday

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#1 · October 19, 2005, 3:19 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Missing"
 
A woman goes to the police station to report that her
husband was missing.
 
"Can you give me a description of him?" asked the
officer.
 
"He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears
dentures," answered the woman.  "Come to think of it,
most of him was missing before he was."
 
 
"Pilots' Wisdom"
 
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
 
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
 
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
 
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
 
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
 
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
 
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
 
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
 
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
 
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
 
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
 
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
 
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
 
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
 
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
 
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
 
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
 
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
 
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
 
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
 
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
 
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
 
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
 
24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
 
25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.
 
 
"Two Brooms"
 
   
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
 
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
 
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
 
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"
 
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.
 
Are you ready for this?
 
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt............................
 

"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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