Quote from Forum Archives on February 20, 2006, 11:39 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"More Faith"

 

 

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed."

 

The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?"

 

"Yes I do," she replied.

 

"Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," He said. "Then tell them, 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'

 

 

"Item Prohibited"

 

 

On a business trip , my father approached a security
checkpoint at the airport. The National Guard shift
was rotating, and a guard, in full uniform, was in line
in front of him.
As with everybody else, the soldier was ordered to
go through the metal detector.
Before doing so, he handed his M-16 rifle to security
personnel along with other items such as handcuffs
and a flashlight. Still the alarm sounded when he
walked through.
Further inspection revealed a Swiss army knife inside
one of his pockets.
"Sorry, sir," security said to the soldier, "but this
item is prohibited."
Taking the knife away, the airport worker then handed
him back the M-16.

 

 

"Talking Dog"

 

 

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale". He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

 

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

 

"Yep," the Lab replies.

 

"So, what's your story?"

 

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. No one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

 

The guy is amazed. He goes back and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

 

"Ten dollars."

 

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

 

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of those things."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>