Do not tell me that there is no rest for us till we get to heaven. We who have believed in Jesus enter into rest even now. Why should we not do so? Our salvation is complete. The robe of righteousness in which we are clad is finished. The atonement for our sins is fully made. We are reconciled to God, beloved of the Father, preserved by His grace, and supplied by His providence with all that we need. We carry all our burdens to Him and leave them at His feet. We spend our lives in His service, and we find His ways to be ways of pleasantness, and His paths to be paths of peace. Oh, yes, we have found rest unto our souls! I recollect the first day that I ever rested in Christ, and I did rest that day. And so will all of you who trust in Jesus as I trusted in Him.
C.H. Spurgeon

Groups

Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

"Murphy's Laws for Parents" Monday

Avatar
Forum Archives
2,360 Posts
#1 · September 26, 2005, 3:41 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Murphy's Laws for Parents" 
 
 
1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on
sale next week.
2. Leakproof thermoses -- will.
3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly
side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when
the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.
5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one
that needs to be washed or mended.
6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster
rate than other clothing.
7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within
the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.
8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician
enters the treatment room.
9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the
back of the refrigerator.
10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically
increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.
 
 
"NEW DICTIONARY"
 
 
ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing
in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are
dead.
COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation
GOSSIP :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.
INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH:
A female moth.
MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.
 
 
"Elliot"
 
 
Elliot was about 3 years old when he and his dad paid a visit to a local
mall. Soon Elliot began to misbehave so his dad picked him up and
proceeded to carry him out of the store.
 
As they made their way to the exit, Elliot yelled out,
 
"HEY, MISTER, PUT ME DOWN!"
 
You can guess what they taught Elliot in preschool.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 
 
 
 
 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>

Click for thumbs down.0Click for thumbs up.0