Quote from Forum Archives on January 1, 2006, 3:27 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

We wish each of you a Happy and Healthy New Year

 

 

"New Year's Dinner"

 

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

 

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

 

"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."

 

 

"New Years Resolutions You Can keep"

 

 

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

 

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura.
16. Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
22. Not eat cloned meat.
23. Create loose ends.
24. Get more toys.
25. Get further in debt.
26. Not believe politicians.
27. Break at least one traffic law.
28. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
31. Stay off the MIR space station.
32. Not worry that the Y2K bug will cause the end of the world.
33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.
34. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
35. Associate with even worse business clients.
36. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
37. Wait around for opportunity.
38. Focus on the faults of others.
39. Mope about my faults.
40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

"New Years Wishes"

 

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist,
your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your
podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.
 
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and
your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your
triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count
and your mortgage interest not rise.
   
May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with
your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food
better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the
pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might
ordinarily do that night.
   
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you
delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults,
be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.
 
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish
dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you
have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance
- and include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day
to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but
not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your
hairdresser or your tennis instructor.
 
And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's
love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's
smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing,
miraculous beat of our heart.

 

 

Have a Blessed 2006
Dave and Barbara

 

 

 

 

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