The ultimate issue in question is the authority of the Bible over our lives. Who is in charge? Who gets the final word? And the way that men (even saved but sinful men) avoid God’s authority is through autonomy: a self-determination that pursues self-sufficiency producing self-rule. It may not be an “intentional” self-determination – indeed we may be unthinkingly swept along by the influences of our culture – but the outcome is the same: a self-sufficiency (in place of God’s sufficiency through His Word) that results in self-rule.
John Thompson

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"Newlyweds" Wednesday

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#1 · August 9, 2005, 8:10 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Newlyweds"
 

A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon.
When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away.
 
"Well, darling," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"
 
"Oh, mother," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language...stuff I'd never heard before...really terrible 4-letter words... You've got to come and get me and take me home...PLEASE MOTHER!"
 
And the new bride began to sob over the telephone.
 
"But, Darling," the mother countered, "WHAT 4-letter words?"
 
"I can't tell you, mother," said the daughter, "they're too awful! COME AND GET ME, PLEASE!"
 
"Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset...tell mother the 4-letter words!"
 
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Mother...words like DUST...WASH....IRON...COOK..."
 

"Love & Marriage"
 
 
Here are "Love & Marriage" as seen through the eyes of our kids!
   
 How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?
 
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one."
Kally, age 9
 
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.  Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
Allan, age 10
 
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with."
Kirsten, age 10
 
What Do You Think Your Mom and Dad Have in Common?
 
"Both don't want no more kids."
Lori, age 8
What is the Proper Age to Get Married?
 
"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!"
Cam, age 10
 
"No age is good to get married at.... You got to be a fool to get married!"
Freddie, age 6
 
How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People are Married?
 
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."
Eddie, age 6
 
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
Derrick, age 8
 
 What Do Most People Do on a Date?
 
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."
Lynnette, age 8
 
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
Martin, age 10
 
When is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
 
"When they're rich!"
Pam, age 7
 
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."
Curt, age 7
 
"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them... It's the right thing to do."
Howard, age 8
What Would You Do on a First Date That Was Turning Sour?
 
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns."
Craig, age 9
 
The Great Debate:
Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
 
"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing ... I'm never going to have sex with my wife.  I don't want to be all grossed out!"
Theodore, age 8
 
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.  Boys need somebody to clean up after them!"
Anita, age 9
 
"Single is better ... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers... Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out.  I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing."
Kirsten, age 10
 
 What Advice Do You Have for a Young Couple About to Be Married?
 
"The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngins ... I got something to say to you.  Why in the heck do you wanna get married, anyway?'"
Craig, age 9
 
What Promises Do a Man and a Woman MakeWhen They Get Married?
 
"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together."
Marlon, age 10
 
How to Make a Marriage Work?
 
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!"
Ricky, age 7
 
How Would the World Be Different if People Didn't Get Married?
 
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
Kelvin, age 8
 
 
"Morning Paper"
 
 
I asked my wife, "Have you seen this morning's
paper?"
 
She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it,
just the classified section, though."
 
I said, "But I haven't seen it yet!"
 
She said, "You didn't miss much. Just some
coffee grounds and a few orange peels!"
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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