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Shaggy Wednesday
#1 · August 23, 2005, 7:17 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Shaggy"
Our dog, Shaggy, suddenly began barking daily at 4 a.m. Irritated and sleepy, my wife, Sally, searched the back yard for what might have disturbed this otherwise placid animal. For three days she found nothing amiss. Then the dog woke up the neighborhood at 3 a.m. with frantic barking. When sally looked out the window, she discovered someone throwing pebbles to land near Shaggy. Sally hurried outside and found the culprit.
Crouching on the other side of the fence was our quiet neighbor, the last man you'd suspect of wrongdoing. My wife demanded to know what he was doing. "My mother-in-law is visiting," the embarrassed neighbor explained.
"If she loses her beauty sleep another night, she says she'll leave."
"Air Conditioning"
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked that it be turned down because he was too hot, and so it went for about a half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient. He walked back and forth and never once got angry. Finally, a second customer asked the waiter why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I don't care," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
"Wedding Cake"
A Doctor addressing a large audience said: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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