Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

"Shame on You." Tuesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Shame on You."
 
My 7-year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle
finger, and asked me what it meant. I was so shocked that I could say
only,
 
"Shame on you," followed by, "If anyone does that to you, just say,
"Shame on you" to that person.
 
A few weeks later we were at the dinner table when my husband let out a
huge belch. I reprimanded him by saying,
 
"Shame on you."
 
Imagine my husband's shock when my daughter held up
her middle finger, showed it to him, and exclaimed,
 
"Mom, you forgot to give Daddy the 'shame on you' sign."
 
 
 "Computer Proverbs"
 
 

* Home is where you hang your @.
 
* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
 
* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
 
* You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
 
* C: is the root of all directories.
 
* Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
 
* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
 
* The modem is the message.
 
* Too many clicks spoil the browse.
 
* The geek shall inherit the earth.
 
* A chat has nine lives.
 
* Don't byte off more than you can view.
 
* Fax is stranger than fiction.
 
* What boots up must come down.
 
* Windows will never cease.
 
* Virtual reality is its own reward.
 
* Modulation in all things.
 
* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
 
* Know what to expect before you connect.
 
* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
 
* Speed thrills.
 
* Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the
Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
 
 
"CAMPING TIPS" (NOT!)
 
 
*A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent
side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes
an excellent hockey puck.
 
*You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican
food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
 
*In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by
shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic
waistband of your underwear.
 
*The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes
excellent kindling.
 
*Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be
worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
 
*The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The
sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
 
*It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding
mountain road behind a large motor home.
 
*Effective January 1, 2006, you will actually have to enlist in the
Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
 
*Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly
country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
 
*In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to
strangle a snoring tent mate.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 

 
 
 
 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>