Quote from Forum Archives on October 31, 2005, 9:21 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

"Silly Halloween Songs"

 

Shivery Yells
(to the tune of SILVER BELLS)
We're on sidewalks, we're on porches ,
Dressed in costumes to scare.
Through the city we're ringing the doorbells

 

Trick or treating, candy eating,
Gooey stuff in our hair
But the most fun is shrieking out loud:

 

Shivery yells, Shivery yells
That's the Halloween nitty-gritty
Moan and groan, leaves us alone
Halloween's just one night a year.

 

Pumpkin Bells
(to the tune of JINGLE BELLS)

 

Dashing through the streets
In our costumes bright and gay
To each house we go
Laughing all the way

 

Halloween is here,
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to trick-or-treat
And sing pumpkin carols tonight!

 

Oh Pumpkin bells, Pumpkin bells
Ringing loud and clear
Oh what fun great pumpkin brings
When Halloween is here.

 

"Deck The Patch"
( to the tune of DECK THE HALLS)

 

Deck the patch with orange and black
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Take along your goody sack
Fa la la la la, la la la la

 

Don we now our weird apparel
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Toll the ancient pumpkin carol
Fa la la la la, la la la la

 

See the great one rise before us
Fa la la la la, la la la la
As we sing the pumpkin chorus
Fa la la la la, la la la la

 

Follow him as he ascends
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Join with true great pumpkin friends.
Fa la la la la, la la la la

 

I'm Dreaming Of
The Great Pumpkin
(to the tune of WHITE CHRISTMAS)

 

I'm dreaming of the great pumpkin
Just like I do this time each year.
When he brings nice toys
To good girls and boys
Who wait for him to appear.

 

I'm dreaming of the great pumpkin
With every pumpkin card I write.
May your jack-o-lanterns burn bright
When the great pumpkin visits you tonight.

 

"Goulish Humor"
The professor was removing organs from the deceased before his students, all the while saying, ". . . and this is the heart, and this is the liver, and this is the kidney, and this is . . ."
"What the heck is the professor doing?" asked a student.
"Shh! He's giving an organ recital."

 

You heard about the little mouse who looked up, saw a bat, and thought it was his fairy godmother?

 

Bloodshed - where the Red Cross keeps the plasma

 

Cemetary - bone zone.

 

Headline: "Due to strike, grave-digging at cemetary will be done by skeleton crews"

 

A kid stole a sign from a nursery and stuck it in front of a funeral parlor. It read: "LET US DO YOUR PLANTING FOR YOU."

 

Undertaker - the last guy to let you down.

 

"20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters"

 

Give away something other than candy.
(Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)

 

Wait behind the door until some people come.
When they get near the door, jump out,
wearing a costume, and holding a bag,
and yell, "Trick or Treat!"
Look at them, scratch your head,
and act confused.

 

Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers.
Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters.
When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously,
say, "It's about time you got here,"
give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

 

Get about 30 people to wait in your living room.
When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in."
When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!"
Act like it's a surprise party.

 

Get everyone who comes to the door
to come in and see if they can figure out
what's wrong with your dishwasher.
Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.

 

After you give them candy,
hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

 

Open the door dressed as a giant fish.
Immediately collapse, and don't move or say
anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

 

When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar,
throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"

 

When you answer the door, look at the
trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared,
and start screaming your head off. Slam the door
and run around the house, screaming until they go away.

 

Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups
before you give them any candy.

 

Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and
let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone
wants to see the dessert list.

 

Get a catapult.
Sit on your porch and catapult
pumpkins at anyone who comes
within 50 yards of your house.

When people come to the door,
jump out a nearby window,
crashing through the glass, and run
as far away from your house as you can.

Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim.
Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment,
pretend to be confused, and
start flipping through a calendar.

Instead of candy, give away colored eggs.
If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are
the only thing you had left over from Easter.

Answer the door dressed as a dentist.
Angrily give the trick-or-treaters
a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.

Answer the door with a mouthful of M&M's
and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands.
Act surprised, and close the door.
Open it again in a few seconds,
and insist that you don't have any candy.

Put a crown on a pumpkin and put
the pumpkin on a throne on your porch.
Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters
bow before the pumpkin.

Dress up like a bunny rabbit.
Yell and scream from the moment
you open the door, and angrily throw
the candy at the trick-or-treaters.
Slam the door when you're finished.

 

Have a Blessed Day

And a Safe Halloween

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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