Quote from Forum Archives on November 9, 2005, 12:39 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The abcs of Aging"

 

 

A is for apple, and B is for Boat,  
that used to be right, but now it won't float.  
Age before beauty is what we once said,  
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.  

 

Now, A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,  
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.  
D is for dental decay and decline;  
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.  

 

F is for fissures and fluid retention,  
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.  
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;  
I for incisions with scars you can show.  

 

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.  
K is for knees that crack when they bend.  
L for libido, what happened to sex?  
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?  

 

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;  
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!  
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,  
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.  

 

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?  
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.  
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.  
T for tinnitus; there's bells in my ears.  

 

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;  
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.  
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?  
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.  

 

Y is another year I'm left here behind,  
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.  

 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,  
And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!

 

 

"HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE GROWING OLD"

 

 

 

You get winded playing cards.

 

Your children begin to look middle aged.

 

You join a health club and don't go.

 

You look forward to dull evenings

 

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

 

You know all the answers but nobody asks you questions.

 

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

 

"Aint It Da Truth"

 

     

 

Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't sleep at night.

 

He could find no real disorder
But he wouldn't let it rest.
What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
We would do a couple tests.

 

To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad.
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.

 

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
My aging frame displayed.
Stripped, on an ice cold table,
While my gizzards were x-rayed.

 

I was checked for worms and parasites,
For fungus and the crud,
While they pierced me with long needles
Taking samples of my blood.

 

Doctors came to check me over,
Probed and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure I was living
They then wired me for sound.

 

They have finally concluded,
Their results have filled a page.
What I have will someday kill me;
My affliction is OLD AGE

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

 

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