Quote from Forum Archives on December 8, 2005, 9:37 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Night of Tax Day"

Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,
Every creature was whirring, even the mouse.
The floppy was placed in the disk drive with care,
In certainty Saint Silicon soon would be there.

 

The chips were nestled All snug in their sockets,
Their RAM filled with visions of STARWARS and ROCKETS.
And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled down for a long ev'ning's rap,

 

When out of the drives there arose such a racket,
I raised up my fist, right ready to whack it.
Away to the printer I flew like a flash,
And I swore that I'd change my brand of hash!

 

More rapid than junk FAX these tax forms they came,
And it booped and it beeped and it called 'em by name:
Now Form 1040! Now Form 1065! Now Schedules A and D too!
On! Form 1120! Form 4562!! Form 1098!!! Form 8362!!!!

 

To the top of the ladder,
To The Top of The Heap!
Just go away, Go Away!
I gotta sleep.

 

As stray bits which down the cable do fly,
When they meet with the processor, soon go awry,
So up the tab all these taxes they flew,
With a surtax and threats of penalty and interest too!

 

Now it may be some virus was having its yucks,
But the total was over 87 kilobux.
So she read all the Pubs, and she said, "What the heck!"
Then we signed all the forms, and we wrote 'em a check.

 

And crossing her fingers and blowing her nose
And giving a nod, from her chair she arose.
She ran to her van, to the key gave a twist,
With a spray of gravel, she shook her fist,

 

And I heard her exclaim as she roared out of sight--
"I think in Paducah they'll postmark it midnight."

 

"Santa's Gonna Come In A Pickup Truck"

 

 

Well I've been sorta worried
About Santa Claus this year
Cause we live way down south
And it didn't snow down here
But I'm telling you not to worry
Cause I just got the word
Everybody listen closely
And I'll tell you what I heard

 

Santa's comin in a pickup
Instead of his trusty sleigh
He'll have a truck instead of reindeer
To carry him on his way
Cause the weatherman had some problems
He couldn't get snow you see

 

Santa's gonna come in a pickup truck
When he visits you and me

 

Santa can't bring his reindeer
He'll leave them far away
But don't you worry 'bout him
He's gonna be here Christmas day
He's got a big red pickup
With four-wheel drive and all
And there's gonna be a Merry Christmas
A Merry Christmas for all

 

Santa's gonna come in a pick up truck
When he visits you and me

 

 

"How To install a  Poor Man's Security System"

 

 

1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots ---a really big pair.
2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it -- a really BIG dog dish.
4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba,  BIG Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in a hour. Don't disturb the Pitbulls;they are already upset."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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