Quote from Forum Archives on January 11, 2006, 10:06 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Rest Of My Life"

 

 

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

 

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you
prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

 

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

 

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,

 

"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because
this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'

 

 

"Brother Martin's Hen House"

 

 

A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the
collections. 

 

One Sunday he announced, "Now, before we pass the collection
plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the
chickens from Brother Martin's hen house please refrain from
giving any money to the Lord.  The Lord doesn't want money
from a thief!"

 

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first
time in months everybody gave.

 

 

"Bathrooms and Baptists"

 

 

There is this rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant especially in language.  She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for reservation.

 

She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "bathroom commode."  But when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward.  So she started all over again, rewrote the entire letter and referred to the bathroom commode as the "B.C."  "Does the campground have its own B.C.?"  is what she actually wrote.

 

Well, the campground owner wasn't old fashioned at all and when he got the letter he just couldn't figure out what the old woman was talking about. That "B.C." business really stumped him.  After worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either.  So the camp owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

 

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located 9 miles north of the campground, and is capable of seating 250 people at the same time.  It is located at a beautiful pine grove and is open only on Sundays and Wednesdays.  I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunch along and make a day of it.  They usually arrive early and stay late. My daughter met her husband in the B.C.

 

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago and it was so crowded, we had to stand up the whole time we were there.  Sometimes it is so crowded, there are 5 to a seat. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats.  They're going to hold it in the basement of the B.C.

 

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely due to the lack of desire on my part.  As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in the cold weather.

 

If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit you down and introduce you to all the other folks.  We will be sure to have a seat up front where you can be seen by everyone.  Remember, we are a friendly community.

 

Sincerely yours, (The campground owner)

 

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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