Quote from Forum Archives on January 13, 2006, 12:27 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"THE TEACHER SAYS"

 

 

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed
information from his classmates.
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

 

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for
five minutes.

 

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for
blending fact with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have
ever met.

 

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school,
indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment
all term.

 

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye
coordination.
Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band
from 15 feet away.

 

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start
working.

 

7. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful perso-
nality.
Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

 

8. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome.
Really means: A mouth that never stops yakking.

 

"School Project"

 

 

My 12-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a
baby picture of yourself?  I need it for a school project."

 

I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project
was.  A few days later, I was in her classroom for a
parent-teacher meeting when  noticed my face pinned to
a mural the students had created.  The title was
"The Oldest Thing in my House."

 

"The Guardian Angel's Mistake"

 

 

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.
While
on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that
experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time.
The
angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to
live.Upon her
recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days
and
have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone
come in
and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40
years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital
after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to
the
hospital.

 

She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I
thought
you said I had another 30-40 years!!"

 

The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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