Quote from Forum Archives on March 23, 2006, 9:42 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Vase"

 

 

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first
time.  Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new
friend.  As her friend is standing in the living room next to the
fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle.

 

When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously
into the vase.  "Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her
new friend.

 

However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a gasp!
ashes and broken vase scattering all around.  After turning three
shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no... I'm, oh!... I, can't ... didn't
mean to.."

 

"It's OK dear," the mother says. "The vase was just from Wal-Mart."

 

The new friend catches her breath enough to say, "But ... but your
husband's ashes..."

 

"Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get himself up
and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!"

 

"44 Years of Marriage"

 

 

While waiting to register at a hotel, I overheard the couple ahead of
me asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed. The clerk
apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.

 

Disappointed, the man remarked, "I don't know. We've been sharing the
same bed for 44 years."

 

"Could you possibly put them close together?" the wife asked.

 

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, "How romantic."

 

Then the woman finished her request with, "Because if he snores, I
want to be able to punch him."

 

"Cruise Questions"

 

 

Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship
Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line

 

10. Do these steps go up or down?

 

9. What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?

 

8. Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?

 

7. Does the crew sleep on the ship?

 

6. Is this island completely surrounded by water?

 

5. Does the ship make its own electricity?

 

4. Is it salt water in the toilets?

 

3. What elevation are we at?

 

2. There's a photographer on board who takes photos and displays them the next day... the question asked: If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?

 

1. What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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