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"TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT WANT FOR CHRISTMAS " Wednesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT WANT FOR CHRISTMAS "
 
        
 
10.  Anne of Avonlea/Anne of Green Gables Collectors Edition with 74 
       minutes of extra footage
9.    Any knick-knack
8.    Tickets to the ballet
7.    Another new tie
6.    A Bath and Body Works Soap Basket
5.    New teddy bear pajamas
4.    Vacuum cleaner
3.    A weekend seminar on "Getting in Touch With Your Feelings"
2.    Pair of fuzzy bunny slippers
1.    A nose and ear hair trimmer (OK, well maybe.)
 
 
"TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOES NOT WANT FOR CHRISTMAS"
 
       
 
10.  A car wash kit
9.   A table saw
8.   Two all-day passes to Circuit City's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7.   A case of oil
6.   Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated
5.   Custom engraved bowling ball
4.   New outboard motor for fishing boat
3.   Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2.   New satellite dish with sports package
1.   Three-year membership to Weight-Watchers Clinic
 
 
"My Appetite Is My Shepherd"    (Pound 23)
 
   
 
My appetite is my shepherd; I always want.
It maketh me sit down and stuff myself.
It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly.
It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper.
It destroyeth my shape.
Yes, though I knoweth I gaineth, I will not stop eating
For the food tasteth so good.
The ice cream and the cookies, they comfort me.
When the table is spread before me, it exciteth me
For I knoweth that I sooneth shall dig in.
As I filleth my plate continuously.
My clothes runneth smaller.
Surely bulges and pudgies shall follow me all the days of my life
And I shall be "pleasingly plump" forever.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
 
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