Twelve Days of Thanksgiving Thursday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
On the First Day:
We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.
On the Second Day:
We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard
rolls.
On the Third Day:
We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.
On the Fourth Day:
We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be
celebrating Thanksgiving until April.
On the Fifth Day:
We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of naked
turkey
carcass.
On the Sixth Day:
We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at
the turkey and calls it Oriental.
On the Seventh Day:
We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.
On the Eighth Day:
The word ''vegetarian'' keeps popping into our heads.
On the Ninth Day:
We check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.
On the Tenth Day:
We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.
On the Eleventh Day:
We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.
On the Twelfth Day:
We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers. And everybody says
Amen.
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day
before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day,
but I have to tell you that your mother and I are
divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"
the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm
sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she
shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her
father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing
until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and
we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then,don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving, and paying
their own way."
watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
"Are you going to hang it next to the deer?"
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