Quote from Forum Archives on July 28, 2003, 2:56 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

As we begin another work week, I was caught by the content of
this message. The Proverb itself caught me: "A gentle answer
turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs
15:1)." There are times when my words are gentle and
encouraging, but I have to face it, there are also times when my
words are harsh, brash, loud, and anything but encouraging.

Am I the only one who ever has a problem with this? Probably
not, so I think that this is a good place to begin this week of
study. Neil helps put our thinking on the right track.

I'd like to pray about it, and submit myself to both the scrutiny
and the forgiveness of Almighty God.

Dear Lord, when I read Your Word, I realize so often how the
words are meant for me. Though I know they're not only for me, I
do see Your Word pierce my heart, penetrate into my spirit, and I
realize just how much I desperately need You. Please forgive my
harsh words, impatient and inappropriate anger, and replace them
by renewing me with Your essence.

You know, Lord, I can read Your Word, listen to a sermon, study
the Bible, or read a devotional message, and yet within a modest
amount of time, I can still be battling with issues like this.
It makes me realize that I can't just turn on and off the knob
or the handle of Your Spirit, I need You with me continually, I
need to seek You continually, and as I read Your Word, I see
that's what You want anyway ("pray continually..." 1
Thessalonians 5:17, "As the Father has loved me, so have I
loved you. Now remain in my love." John 15:9) I see that all of John
15 emphasizes this matter, and the entire counsel of Your Word
consistently tells me to seek You first, to love You above
everything else, to constantly pray, and to present my requests
before You.

Lord, I've been looking for work to adequately support my family,
and I continue that search. But as You know, I've also been
searching for You in every area of my life. As I peel away layer
upon layer, I realize that there are areas where we've been
apart. I don't want that. I want to be with You in every aspect
of my life. So as I struggle, won't You be my constant
companion, even at times when I fail to acknowledge You as I
should? My love for You will never die. What I seek most is the
constant companion by my side. I believe You're always there. I
believe it's me who's been so rude to You at times. May it not
be so. Help me, that I will always return to You what You've so
graciously given to me, Your love, Your companionship, Your all
in all.

Your Brother in Christ,
Brian

____________________________________________________________

NEIL ANDERSON'S DAILY IN CHRIST
from Freedom in Christ Ministries

July 28

EXPRESSING YOUR NEEDS

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger (Proverbs 15:1).

If you have legitimate needs in a relationship, and they are not
being met, should you risk expressing your needs? Yes, but
express them in such a way that you don't impugn the other
person's character or act as his conscience. For example, you
may feel unloved in a relationship and say, "You don't love me
any more." Or you feel that your spouse doesn't value you and
say, "You make me feel worthless." Or you feel a distance
developing between you and your friend and say, "You never write
or call." You have expressed your need, but you have played the
role of the conscience in that person. You are usurping the role
of the Holy Spirit. And by pushing off your need as his problem,
he will probably respond by getting defensive, further straining
the relationship.

What if you expressed your needs this way: "I don't feel loved
any more"; "I feel like a worthless, unimportant person"; "I
miss it when we don't communicate regularly"? By changing the
"you" accusation to an "I" message, you express your need
without blaming anyone. Your nonjudgmental approach allows God
to deal with the person's conscience. The other person is free
to respond to your need instead of defend himself against your
attack.

When we assume the responsibility of another person's
conscience, we misdirect that person's battle with God to
ourselves, and we are insufficient for the task. We are under
the commandment of God to love one another. So when a legitimate
need is made known, trust God to bring the conviction that will
move that person to meet the need.

Lord, enable me to express my needs and seek Your supply without
judging or criticizing others.

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=====
--
Brian Masinick, mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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