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Home-made Seitan

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CATEGORY CUISINE TAG YIELD
Dutch 1 Servings

INGREDIENTS

6 c Water
1/2 c Soy sauce
1 Onion, sliced
2 Cloves garlic, minced
2 Bay leaves
Pepper to taste
2 T Nutritional, good-tasting
yeast flakes
2 T Wheat flour
1/2 t Onion powder
1/4 t Garlic powder

INSTRUCTIONS

First, in your dutch oven or soup pot, put and bring to a boil part 1.
Then, and THIS IS IMPORTANT, measure your little bag of gluten flour
(1 to 1-1/2 c.), then put it in a mixing bowl (wider is better than
deep). To the flour add and mix very well Part 2.  Measure out the same
amount of tasty stock and add it to the gluten  flour, mixing very
quickly. It will turn into a rubbery sponge faster  than you would
believe. Then oil up your hands and knead it for five  minutes (HA! and
CURSES! you will think, but play along anyway.  Daydream about handsome
Greek divers diving for sponges of the coast  of sunny Greece. Get
wicked!).  Tear the sponge into three balls (imagining what you will),
and put  them in the now rolly-boiling stock. Cover the pot and turn
the heat  to simmer. Set your timer to 55 minutes, and pour yourself a
glass of  wine before cleaning up the mess. Take a bubble bath.  When
cool, put the now monster balls into appropriate plastic  containers,
and cover them with the stock that's left. Freeze two  (unless you will
be cooking for a crowd).  Slice for phoney Swiss steak, and simmer the
slices in the tomato  sauce for a while. Grate it for spaghetti sauce.
Tear it into  oyster-like shreds for stir fry, or simmer in vegetarian
gravy for  hot open-face sandwiches. Not bad braised in barbeque sauce
and  served over rice, either. Best of all, glue shreds to your kid's
face  and send them out to the garage to surprise their dad with a
coffee.  (Okay, so save that one for Halloween - When the kids asks
"But Mom,  what am I?", just tell them they're the creeping crud, and
"it  creeps, all over you!" while making claw-like gestures at them and
sprinkling oatmeal in their freshly gelled hair for a final touch).
Thanks (apologies?) to "Table For Two", a lovely little book for
vegans I just happened to find at the Cookbook Store in Toronto last
week.  Posted to FATREEE list members by Michelle Dick while the list
was  down.  Date:    Mon, 21 Oct 96 11:02:09 PDT  From:  
sylvia@itrc.on.ca

A Message from our Provider:

“Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited – until you try to sit in their pews.”

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