Saved from Myself

I didn’t understand what true joy and happiness was until I found JesusChrist. He saved me from myself.

I grew up in a middle class family. My father worked hard to meet our needsand my mom stayed home to raise us kids. We had everything we wantedmaterially. Seems like the ideal family from the outside. What no one knew,however, was that my mother was mentally ill and my father was abusive. Iwas insecure and had low self-esteem. I just wanted someone to love me.

When I was 16, I met my high school sweetheart who was 18. We got marriedwhen I was a year out of high school and 4 months pregnant. There wereproblems from the start, and I always felt that if I could just be a betterwife or mother then he would love me like I needed to be loved. I tried tobe what I thought everyone wanted, but it didn’t work. I started usingmarijuana and acid to ease the loneliness I felt. When I was 26 I woke up andrealized I didn’t know who I was. I was tired, and then I met someone.

I started having an affair with a man I met on the Internet. I then ended mymarriage after 7 years and two children. I felt so tremendously guilty afterthe dust settled. The man I met and I were contemplating marriage but Iwanted to see a counselor first. I had also suggested we start going to achurch.

We received a card in the mail for a marriage enrichment course sponsored byour local church. My fianc=E9e and I signed up and started attending and wethen attended the church. We both gave our lives to Jesus Christ and weasked for forgiveness for the affair. The guilt that I bore so heavily wasgone!

Since I became a Christian, Jesus has done so much for me. He has answeredmy prayers even when I lost hope and just said, “ok God, I will let youhandle it.” He has provided for my family and me even when I couldn’tpossibly see any provision in sight. He has been so gracious! I know Idon’t deserve the grace and love Jesus has given me, but I praise the Lordeveryday that He has given it to me anyhow. Best of all, someone finallyloves me like I have always wanted to be loved and I have found an abundanceof Joy and happiness. Thank you Lord!

Shauna Clark