Why get married?
Not long ago, I heard a comment from a teenager as he and his male friends were discussing their approach to sex with girls: “Your body, your [the girl’s] problem.” This is a declaration of their freedom from any responsibility when a girl they impregnate finds out they are pregnant.
- I will not stay around to care for you or our child
- I will run away when faced with responsibilities
- I am in this for my fun – not your long-term happiness
- When I get tired of you, I will move on to someone else
Honestly, I struggle to see the difference between boys like this, and animals – except for a boy’s potential to be so much more than an animal.
When I met the woman who later became my wife…
- We became friends over the course of 2+ years, starting in group settings
- We wanted to protect each other
- We took on additional responsibilities befitting our age and relationship – we ended relationships that could jeopardize ours
- To protect my wife’s virginity and integrity, in case we didn’t get married for some reason (and to please God), I did not even kiss her until our wedding day
- I had learned that a physical relationship interferes with the early development of deep friendship needed in marriage
- Jesus earthly father, Joseph, demonstrated the Biblical view that sex before/outside of marriage is dishonorable.
- Matthew 1:19: “Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.“
- We did not even consider “living together” before marriage – she got her own apartment in my city after we were engaged
- We basically didn’t “date”. We went from close friends to “engaged” (which surprised even my parents)
- I paid off a small car loan she had, because I was committed to our relationship and OUR financial well-being (which surprised HER parents)
- We wanted to celebrate our commitment as husband and wife by being married in a public setting, with friends and family, so it was perfectly clear…
- Public marriage is a declaration: He is the one for me – and nobody else. She is the one for me – and nobody else.
- Public marriage can be a celebration – as Adam put it so well “At LAST!!!” I have been waiting so long, for this one person matched to me. Thanks God! And thanks to our friends and family who have shaped and supported us!
- We had no pre-nup agreement – we both dove in fully, with no reservations – full commitment
I have been married to this same woman for over 30 years, and love her more than ever.
- I have stayed around to care for her and our children
- I have handled (most) of my responsibilities well
- I have brought her happiness
- I thoroughly enjoy being with her, and am deeply committed to her and God – and she knows it!
What does God say about marriage?
- 1 Corinthians 7: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife
- Verse 9: But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn.
- Hebrews 13:4: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
- Matthew 22:2 The Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who made a wedding feast for his son…
- Revelation 19:7 “Let’s rejoice and be exceedingly glad, and let’s give the glory to him. For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his wife has made herself ready.”
Marriage can be a good choice, but we should take that step wisely, knowing we must remain committed to each other:
Matthew 19:8-9 Jesus said, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”
It is Satan’s style to steal and destroy. He deceives us to take things [eg. sex] out of their proper/approved sequence, and ruin our lives. It’s like eating the world’s best pizza, UNCOOKED! Yuk. Do marriage in its proper order and timing, and it can be a wonderful lifelong experience, full of blessings.