A Wedding Anniversary Sermon OUTLINE Introduction. — The fundamental institution of our civiliza- tion is the home, and marriage is its basis. I. Marriage Is a Partnership. 1. The man is the maker of the living. 2. The woman is the maker of the home. n. Some Don'ts for Husbands. 1. Don't treat your partner as though she were your slave. 2. Don't assume the right of being treasurer in the new partnership. 3. Don't fail to deliver the goods according to the sample. m. Some Don'ts for "Wives. 1. Don't neglect your home. 2. Don't be extravagant. 3. Don't live with relatives if you can avoid it. Husbands, love your wives. . . . Wives, reverence your hus- bands.— Eph. 5 : 22, 25. HUSBANDS, love your wives.'' ''Wives, rever- ence your husbands." Such is the substance of Paul's teaching in Eph. 5:22-33. In order that this double injunction may be carried out, wives must be lovable and husbands must be worthy of reverence. The fundamental institution of our civilization is the home. None other has such influence. No other institution means so much for the weal or woe of the human race. There is a well-nigh universal desire, both on the part of the man and the woman, for their own home. If one is not happy in his home, he can not find happiness anywhere. '*Home is not merely four square walls, Though hung with pictures finely gilded; Home is where affection dwells. Filled with shrines the heart hath builded. ' ' There is only one foundation upon which a happy home can rest — and that foundation is love. There are marriages for convenience, for position, for wealth and for social advantage. When such a marriage is contemplated, our caution would be ''Don't!'' Love — and love alone — can create the atmosphere of that sanctuary which we call home. The ladies* aid society asked an old bachelor to speak at their social function, on the subject ** Woman! Without her, man would be a savage/' When the hour arrived he arose, and said: '^The ladies have fur- nished my theme for this evening. The wording of it runs, 'Woman without her man, would be a savage.' " He wondered why they smiled. It is true he had al- tered the meaning by his change of punctuation, but I am sure there is much truth in both of the state- ments. God felt that Adam was not complete without his helpmate — and God ought to know. * ^ As unto the bow the cord is^ So unto man is woman; While she bends him she obeys him, While she leads him yet she follows; Useless each without the other.'* I. Marriage Is a Partnership. I wish, in this sermon, to emphasize the fact that marriage is a partnership. I shall then define the duties and add some don'ts. '^I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge thee my troth." No more sacred pledge has ever passed the lips of any man in the sealing of an earthly contract. If marriage is not a partnership, then there are no part- nerships in life. In this sacred partnership there is 1. The man, the maker of the living. It is his part to support the home, to maintain his wife and babies, to plan, to work, to toil for others, to spend his life in service for her whom he has selected from all the noble women of the world, to be her constant com- panion in joy or sorrow, to be such a father to her children as the children can honor, and to be the stay and support of her life. This, my friends, is not an effort at romantic idealism; it is a plain statement of plain truth. If it is a dream, then as a dream it has been the inspiration for life's most heroic service. Ponder well your promises, and, above all things else in life, keep faith with her. The husband is the house-band. He must keep the home together, provide the family shelter, food, cloth- ing, and keep in comfort the sacred place where the physical, intellectual, moral and spiritual culture of the next generation must be provided. Surely such a task is worthy of man's best effort. This is a busy world. Competition is tremendously keen. Our mod- ern life is complex and strenuous, and, in order to accomplish the tasks incident to the maintenance of a home, a man needs a clear brain and a strong body. As nearly as possible, he should be free from petty annoyances and always able to approach his daily tasks with full mental vigor. This can only be done when things are right at home. 2. The woman, the maker of the home. The wife must be a helpmeet. Not merely a housekeeper, but a home-maker, and there is every difference in the world between these two. The most important thing about a home is not the house, nor is it the furnish- ing; it is not gilded pictures and upholstered divans, nor velvet carpets and magnificent draperies. The vital thing is an atmosphere. Yes, I like to think that the woman's sphere is in the creation of an atmos- phere. In this atmosphere the husband finds his re- laxation and his joy; his daily recreation for the tasks and toil of another day amidst the busy whirl of this commercial age. In this atmosphere the chil- dren love to play, and in it their characters are molded for useful citizenship in years to be. The wife must be the inspiration for her husband. He must achieve for her. Her faith in him must be the well- spring of his effort, and, because of her, he must not fail. There are many things that are vital, things with- out which this atmosphere can not be maintained. The house must be orderly and clean. It should be light and cheerful. Much fresh air must be supplied, and every appointment should speak real comfort. This does not necessarily mean extravagance. The wife must learn to make a real home on whatever in- come her husband can provide, and with that income she must be content. I have little patience with those who speak of the limited sphere of woman. Her sphere is well-nigh limitless. God places in her arms an infant race. It is hers to form and fashion, to mold and model the generation of the days to come. She has just been given the ballot, but long ago God gave to her the boy; momentous compliment — ^the greatest in the his- tory of men. II. Same Don'ts for Husbands. 1. Don't treat your partner as though site were your slave. Remember that in the formation of that sacred partnership she placed her all. She sacrificed a home filled with the material comforts in which she had been cradled and cultured and nurtured, in which she had been loved and shielded and protected. She sacrificed a rich reality for that which she hoped you could provide. I believe that it is not exaggera- tion to say that 90 per cent, of the women who marry, step out of father's home into a less comfortable and convenient house. I have united in marriage more than two thousand couples in the last nine years, and by far the larger number of them have taken but temporary quarters in a few rooms. Remember, she sacrificed because she loved and trusted you. You are less than a real man if you forget that love or betray that trust. She is your partner — ^not your slave. 2. Don't assume the right of being treasurer in the new partnership. She has an equal right in the funds of this new firm. Imagine, if you can, a busi- ness partnership in which two parties place their available capital. The business prospers, but, without agreement, one assumes the responsibility for hand- ling all the funds. He banks the money and checks it out without conference or consultation. For the barest necessities of life, the other partner must come to him and ask for funds. In feeling at least, reduced to beggary, humiliated beyond measure, always un- certain as to whether or not his frugal request will be granted. I ask you, as a man, how long would such a partnership be tolerated? My friends, this il- lustration is not an overdraft. Millions of partners in that most sacred of partnerships — ^noble women, wives and mothers — submit to such an enforced arrange- ment without complaint. I know no greater tribute to the power of true love than this submission, but it is not right. Give to her an allowance that is en- tirely adequate for her many needs, or, better still, bank the income in a joint account, and, if she is a worthy woman, she will suffer want rather than betray your confidence and trust. If the funds are too mea- ger for a bank account, share the meagerness equally, and plan for better days ahead. 3. Don't fail to deliver the goods according to the sample. Some time ago I purchased a suit of clothes from a traveling salesman. He displayed a splendid line of samples. I selected a very beautiful piece, and ordered the suit, which was to be made to my measure, and delivered within three weeks. What was my sur- prise, about a month later, to receive a suit of inferior workmanship, poorer and lighter quality, and of an entirely different shade! Upon comparing the material with the sample, which I had kept, my ''righteous in- dignation'' was aroused and forthwith the suit went back. Suppose you were to purchase an Oriental rug of beautiful design, and find, upon delivery, that they had sent to you the cheapest imitation. Recently I heard a woman tell her husband that he was not even distantly related to the man she thought she married. How courteous and thoughtful he once was! How graceful and how kind! How considerate of her com- fort and her pleasure! Her slightest wish was his supreme law. Think of the flowers and the candy and the love tokens! Ah, yes! But you must remember that these were in the courtship days. My brother! why not deliver the goods according to the sample? These things, and a million other little courtesies, must not be forgotten. If you forget them, you have been deceiving her. III. Some Don'ts for Wives. 1. Don't neglect your home. The home is woman's throne. Here she reigns as queen, and here she must be queenly. No social success imaginable is sufficient recompense for the neglect of the home. The card- case and the automobile must not displace the needle and the baby-carriage. Women, happy in and en- tirely dedicated to the domestic art, are the crying need of our generation. Nothing can do more to check moral decline and social degeneracy than for our wives and mothers to dedicate themselves to the creation of a right home atmosphere and fully appre- ciate the exalted privilege, the high responsibility, and the incalculable influence of true motherhood. 2. Don't be extravagant. Whatever happens, live within your means. Every young couple should make it the unalterable rule to save some money from each pay. Remember that expenses will increase with the grow- ing family, and that it is easier to save your means with a family of two than it will be with three or five. Then, too, if we do not form the thrift habit in our early married life, it is probable that later it will be necessary for the children to sacrifice their higher education and miss the largest usefulness in life. Again, there is, perhaps, no more prolific source of domestic infelicity than the consciousness that one can not get ahead. A growing bank account is the best insurance policy for domestic happiness. 3. Don't live with relatives, if you can avoid it. How many are the homes that have come to ruin be- cause of the sympathetic comfort and ill-advised ad- vice of relatives or friends! For instance, there is a difference of opinion between the newly-weds, per- haps a discussion, maybe an unkind word with ruffled feelings and copious tears. She may refuse the good- by kiss. With heavy heart he leaves the home mental- ly incapacitated for his best work that day. Then the inevitable happens. She confides in mother, the mother love responds with sympathy and comfort, and in the light of this she feels that she really has been wronged. The breach is widened, and when he returns they quar- rel, and thus they leave the peaceful harbor and launch upon a troubled sea. No, my friends, as man and wife sail out together they do not need anything so much as they need an open sea. If given plenty of sea room, the chances are that they will unitedly weather the severest storm. Above all things, when difficulties come, brook no interference from relatives or friends. And, finally, let me say to both, be cheerful, be happy, count your blessings, and thank God, remem- bering that nothing ever yet brought larger returns than kindness, consideration and love. *'If with pleasure you are viewing any work your wife is doing; If you like her or you love her, tell her now; Don't withhold your approbation till the parson makes oration, And she lies with snowy lilies o'er her brow; For no matter how you shout it, she won't really care about it; 'She won't know how many teardrops you have shed. If you think some praise is due her, now's the time to tell it to her, For she can not read her tombstone when she's dead. ''More than fame and more than money is the comment kind and sunny. And the hearty, warm approval of a friend; For it gives to life a savor, and it makes you stronger, braver, And it gives you heart and spirit to the end. If she earns your praise, bestow it ; if you love her, let her know it ; Let the words of true encouragement be said. Bo not wait till life is over and she's underneath the clover, For she can not read her tombstone when she's dead."
L, N, D, Wells
CIRCA 1921