Tim_Dorf
“What is your doctrine of salvation?”
I was raised in what you would call an average Polish, Roman Catholichousehold, parochial schools and church every Sunday. I remember cryingbecause I couldn’t go to church because my parents thought I was too young.They probably didn’t want the hassle or embarrasment of me acting like anormal three year old in church.
My first touch with church was being made an altar boy in first grade,boy did I think that was neat. I remember the first time I “served Mass”, Iwas scared to death and made some big mistakes, vowing never to be an altarboy again. I looked at my priests growing up wondering if they did the samethings that I did, eating, crying, being sick etc., I really thought theywere supernatural, I found out later, much to my chagrin they weren’t.
As far back as I could remember in school I developed this fear ofdeath, but never wanting to tell anybody. It actually at ten years old keptme up at nights thinking I could die and never wake up! It was at this timeI started thinking about purgatory, and deciding that I didn’t want to gothere because I was taught we had to suffer in fire for awhile, because wehurt God by our sins, so I just decided to forget about those things,thinking as a child does that if you forget, they would go away, of coursemany years later God reminded me again that we spend eternity somewhere.
The most fearful thing at that time was going to confession to a priestand telling him what I did wrong, I was embarrased and lied in confession,and of course when I got old enough I stopped going all together. I was inretrospect on the road to salvation because I was rejecting even though Ididn’t know it things that God didn’t require of mankind.
As I got into my teens the experimentation with sin began, smoking,girls, rebellion, etc. I remember starting to go out and drink at that time,coming home when ever I wanted too. My parents had no choice but to more orless ask me to leave home. I didn’t want to work or be responsible, Iwanted everyone to take care of me while I goofed off, sleeping or partying,oh of course I blamed everyone but myself. I didn’t realize it at the timebut God had plans for me!
I moved into the YMCA at this time and continued my rebellious ways,not wanting to work or be responsible, while I was asleep the problems didn’texist or so I thought. But, it was at this time my sister got saved and cameback to Racine and invited me to a Jack Van Impe crusade at Memorial Hallin Racine. I remembered him speaking about the signs that pointed to Christ’sreturn and that if you weren’t saved Hell awaited for you. It was the lastnight of the meetings that I went forward when the invitation was given. Iremember going into the back room with a counselor and being asked if I knewwhy I was there. I started crying and babbled about my relationship with myparents. I actually don’t remember anything that happened after that. Iknow if the counselor was doing his job that the saving Gospel of JesusChrist was faithfully preached, but as the Bible says that the wicked onewill come in and snatch that seed away before it can take root in our heart.I went away I believe not saved, but the word of God was sown in my heartand no matter what I did He was there! (Psalm 139:7,8)
I was raised in a Polish Roman Catholic home, parochial schools and churchevery Sunday. My first thoughts about religion was the concept of purgatory,what would it be like? I was taught that it was a fire that cleansed you ofyour venial sins. The thought of fire scared me to death and decided Ididn’t want to go there. I must of realized that I wasn’t good enough to stayout of purgatory that I just decided not to worry about it anymore, like mostkids you think if you don’t think about it, it would go away.
I also remember at this time my unbelievable fear of going to confessionto tell my sins to a priest, I was ashamed and embarrased to do it, so I wentin there and lied thinking that God would understand, not knowing thatCatholic theology teaches that it is a mortal sin to make a bad confession.
It seems to me God had His hand upon my life already, I had already givenup two hopes of Catholicism absolution and purgatory.
It was in my mid teens that I started the downhill slide with sin. Istarted experimenting with tabacco, alcohol, pornography, women, you name itI did it, just so I could be one of the guys. I was irresponsible about myown life, not wanting to work, sleeping all the time, thinking my parentswould take care of me! It was at eighteen that the shock came! OUT! Myparents requested that I leave the house. So I moved into the YMCA and tookup where I left off, partying and being totally irresponsible about worketc., thinking ole mom and dad would bail me out. Now I realize only JesusChrist could bail me out. My parents did as best as they could with a totaljerk!
It was at this time my sister had gotten saved and invited me to attendthe Jack Van Impe crusades at Memorial Hall in Racine. I went to almost allof them. What stands out in my mind was the fact that he showed all thingsgoing on in the world pointed to the fact that Jesus was coming soon, and Icould escape Hell!. I don’tthink I realized it was Jesus that I needed butan escape. On that Friday I went forward to get out of my predicament. Iremember the counselor asking me why I came forward, I babbled about myrelationship with my parents but don’t remember anything else. The Biblesays that the wicked one will come in and steal the seed, but I believe eventhough I don’t remember, the seed had been sown, the GOSPEL of Christ! I wentaway unsaved, but our merciful God had called me and wouldn’t stop callingme until he saved me! The events surrounding my salvation were all accordingto His plan! (Psalms 119:7,8)
I went away from the Jack Van Impe crusades an unchanged man and theproblems followed me also, not wanting the responsibility of an adult man,job, bill paying etc.
God had plans for me, even though I didn’t realize it, my partying wasmore important I guess. I remember going shopping with my dad and sister toa furniture store in Racine. I remember so well my fathers voice soundingodd, he had a bad rasp and couldn’t get any volume. We suggested that itmight be pnuemonia, but in our hearts we knew it was much worse. My dadwent to a specialist who checked him out and gave us the bad news-CANCER! Werefused to believe it at first and when the doctor said maybe a year to livewe almost fell apart. To make a long story short exploratory surgery wasdone and they found a tumor on the trachea which couldn’t be operated on.Chemotherapy and radiation were the only alternatives.
I don’t remember ever having been more emotionally upset in my entirelife. During the first few months of the therapy not knowing if it wouldwork, getting up each morning was a difficult undertaking. The days were longand drawn out, and the worst part was I blamed myself for his being sick,and manifested that guilt by accusing my family they didn’t care as much asI.
In the spring of 1982 I was living alone on the east side of Racine, ourwonderful loving Father got a hold on my heart. I believe with all my heartthat God was sparing my life, I was at the end of my rope, I was thatdepressed over my father. At 3:00 in the morning I awoke and sat upright inbed, I don’t know why, but I went into the bathroom and I believe that Godwas trying at that time to get a hold on me, I fell to my knees and andcried out to God to take whatever I had left to use it for His glory becauseI had made a mess of it all, I believed that God miraculously saved my hellbound soul that morning. Romans 10:13. The seed was planted at Van Impe’scrusade and bore fruit those few years later. I look back and realized thatGod took me through that experience to teach me to trust Him totally. Aftersalvation a mistake I made was a mistake many new babes in Christ make theydon’t seek out a good church or even look for a church, and God broughtmore heartache into my life to teach me that I needed His Word and Hispeople, the world didn’t hold any answers! 1 John 2:17
To start out this last part of my testimony it has been 7 years since thatnight and praise our God my dad is doing fine, a miracle was performed in mydad’s life, he needs to be saved so pray for him.
I remember after that experience in the bathroom that morning thatthings didn’t hold any allure for me, but as an uneducated person I justthought that I was growing up, not realizing that the Holy Spirit was doingthings in my life.
I got mixed up with some bad people also. One was a homosexual who haddesigns on me, Satan used that to convince me I might had homosexualtendencies. That was the second most stressed emotionally I had ever been. Imet some people at this time who claimed to be Christians, one was acharismatic, no offense, but in many ways made my situation worse, becausehe had no answers to my problems. The other knew the right words but didn’thave the testimony, it was like the blind leading the blind, but I was theone who almost fell into the ditch.
I remember even trying the Catholic church again, and went twice andrealized it was hypocrisy to go to a church I knew was not right just to begoing to a church. The next church was a “Word Movment” church. They taughtme it was more important to dance around, swing your hips, shake you backend, play loud music in the service, and speak in tongues and healing than toworship God according to your spirit. I rejected that and was told I didn’thave enough faith… sound familiar?
So one day I decide to call churches and decide for myself who was right,and where I belonged, I had been studying my Bible at this time, but it wasso disjointed I didn’t know which end was up. I called St. Rose Catholicchurch and was told just to believe in God. I called the Lutheran churchdown the block and was told baptism was the way you were born again. I calledthe 1st Presbyterian church down town Racine and was told by the office ladythat it wasn’t any of my business what she believed! God had the next call all planned out in His sovreign will! I called Calvary Baptist Church inSturtevant and asked the pastor there “What is your doctrine of salvation?”,he answered “The blood of Jesus Christ is the only way that a man can getsaved”. It was like a light went on in my head! That’s It, so simple, thatday I believed I got the assurance of my salvation! It took five weeks but Istarted attending that church and what a baptized in November of 1985,what a glorious feeling to know I had done God’s will! I now attendLighthouse Baptist Temple in Racine and it is a privilege to serve our LordJesus Christ! It has been a long road and often times tough, but I know thatGod has directed every step just to save my soul, even though He didn’t have to. That kind of love is incredible, have you experienced that kind oflove in your life? If there wasn’t a time in your life that you realizedthat you were a lost, hell-bound sinner who couldn’t get to heaven on hisown strength, and you just by simple faith put you trust in the Lord JesusChrist alone, the one who died for you at Calvary 2,000 years ago toreconcile you with God, why don’t you take care of that right now? I praythat you will before it is eternally too late!
Tim Dorf