Jesus, Get Me Out of Here!
Jesus, Get Me Out of Here!
by LindaEverett
I grew up in a Buddhist religion. When I was 15 I gave my life toSatan. I practiced black magic and later white magic (I thought itwas good). I would like to add, for the benefit of those who justdabble, that when you open the door to the occult you open the doorto an evil that only Jesus can shut. When I became an adult Ireceived my own Buddhist altar and became heavily involved with thenew age movement. I was even teaching my daughter about these things.During this whole time no one ever shared the message of Christ withme until my 30’s. I know this may seem hard to believe but I barewitness to this fact and I hope that anyone that reads this willbecome a little more aware of how their witnessing does make adifference. Just because you are born in America does not mean youhave heard the message. I remember one thing, when I was living inHollywood I was walking down the street and a young man, carrying abag, walked down the street passing out miniature bibles and saying,”Jesus loves you.” I don’t know what happened to that bible and itwas about 15 years later that I was saved, but I NEVER forgot thatyoung man. I was never witnessed to again until 12 years later.
My life was in such a depressed state. I was suicidal and washospitalized twice for severe depression. The group of people Icalled friends were users and being around them would suck the lifeout of you. My life had become so dark and depressed. It was likebeing sucked in to a black cloud and you don’t have the energy orwill to even care if you get out or get help. I reached a point whereI refused any more counseling or medication because I didn’t care ifI got better. I finally reached a point becoming fully convinced thatI had already lived my life, died and was in hell. Suicide attemptsfailed and reinforced my beliefs. I could not die because I wasalready dead.
One Monday morning, at work, an Army Colonel, [Colonel Murph,]approached me and said that he had thought about Sara (my daughter)and me over the weekend. I said, “Oh?” He replied, “Yes, I was inchurch and the two of you came to my mind and I just want you to knowthat the Lord has put a burden in my heart for both of you and I wantyou to know that I am praying for both of you.” I was rather stunnedand didn’t know how to respond. I kind of just let it go because itreally didn’t mean anything to me.
At this time, having been battered and thrown out of my home, Iwas just beginning divorce proceedings from my brief but secondmarriage. I spent the next three years going back and forth to thisman dragging my daughter along with me. Finally, on another rebound,he came to me saying his mother was dying and we ended up togetheragain. She died and then his father’s cancer came back. He asked tomove in to my house and asked if I would help take care of hisfather. I said yes, so he moved to my house with his two teenage kidsand his dying father. This was such a stressful time as I was takingcare of all of them and working full time as well. This also turnedout to be a rewarding time because it was the first time I evertalked to the real God, not my god. Chuck [my husband’s father] hadbecome so special to me and I shared a tenderness with him that Inever had with my own father. One night I was talking to him aboutdying and he said he wasn’t afraid. He said he was going to be withDoris in heaven and then he dozed off to sleep. I cried as we heldhands and I prayed. I said, “God, I don’t know if you can hear mefrom hell, but if you can please answer my prayer. I know I deserveto be here but Chuck doesn’t belong here. Please heal him or bringhim home to You. I know I don’t deserve your ear but I hope you hearme and answer my prayer. No one should ever suffer like this.” Twodays later Chuck died there in my home. Two hours later my husbandsaid he was ready to finalize our divorce and that he and hischildren were moving out and getting on with their life. He expressedhis gratitude and walked out the door. I was beyond devastated. Thatblack hole just got blacker. I would sit in the corner in the darkholding my head, rocking back and forth and cry out in such agony.The torment I began experiencing was more horrible than anythingimaginable. I would walk through the house screaming at God, “God,get me out of here! I don’t want to be here anymore! You took Chuckwhen I asked so I know you hear me! Now, get me out of here!” Mydaughter was very much in the middle of all of this took care of memuch as anyone would take care of any crazy person. I used to shakeher and yell, “Don’t you understand, I just don’t care!!! I don’tcare about you, I don’t care about work, I don’t care about thishouse, I just don’t care!!!” She got to the point of becoming stonefaced when I spoke to her. Her emotions were gone.
One day at work, Colonel Murph called me into his office. Ithought I was in trouble. It had been three years since he talked tome about Jesus. I walked into his office and he got up and shut thedoor. He walked back to his desk, sat down and began sobbing. All Iremember him telling me is this, “Linda, Jesus loves you so much. Ihave not stopped praying for you and Sara. I have prayed for both ofyou everyday since the time I told you that the Lord had placed aburden in my heart for you two. The Lord loves you so much and I wishyou could know just how much he loves you. He has such a good lifeplanned for you and wants so much for you to believe in Him. Please,please trust Him.” No one ever told me anything like this before.Frankly, at the time, I think I was more moved by his tears andsincerity. No one ever cried for me before.
I just want to add here, if the Lord has put it in your heart topray for someone, please don’t stop. Their very life and eternal lifemay depend on it.
It was during this time, just a week or so before, I was flippingthrough the channels on TV. I stumbled upon TBN and I could notchange the channel. As a matter of fact Murph mentioned TBN andspecifically Praise the Lord. I very haughtily replied, I’ve heard ofit and as a matter of fact I just started watching it. Very soonafter this Murph moved to Alabama. I continued to watch TBN and all Ireally remember is they kept talking about Jesus and the wonderfulthings He has done and continues to do. I left this station on allthe time, even while I slept. At first I kept it on in the backgroundin my room while I listened from my bathroom floor in the dark.Eventually, I started to sit in front of the TV. I had no idea whatthey were talking about having never been around Christianity but Ibegan to want to know this Jesus. I mostly remember Benny Hinn, withsuch a gentle spirit, holding his hands up to the camera and saying,Come on. It’s by faith… I wanted so much to have faith that Jesuscould heal my mind. Every time anyone said the sinner’s prayer Iwould cry and pray. I just wanted to know Jesus. I did this every dayfor about three months. Finally, one night I stood in front of my TVand saw a joy and peace I thought I would never have. Satan said tome, “That’s not real. I put that on to taunt you, to show you whatyou could of had but instead you gave your life to me. You’re in helland you’re mine forever.” My whole body froze and tears just ran downmy face. Finally, I walked dazed to my living room and I rememberthinking, “I can’t get out of here. I have no where to go. I can’tdie, I can’t live, I’m stuck.” I told Satan, “I know I’m yours, Iknow I’m in hell, but I am not a willing participant anymore. I knowthis is your territory but I will defy you all the way. And if youwant to cast me out of hell and into an eternal nothingness I willgladly go.”
Then I stood up in the middle of my living room, looked up cryingand lifted my hands to heaven and screamed as loud as I could,”JESUS, GET ME OUT OF HERE. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. I’MSORRY FOR WHATEVER IT IS THAT I HAVE DONE TO MAKE YOU SEND ME TOHELL. I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME. JESUS, THEY SAID THAT IF ICALL ON YOU, YOU WOULD SAVE ME. THEY SAID THAT IF I CONFESS YOU ASLORD AND SAVIOR THAT YOU WOULD COME INTO MY LIFE. JESUS, GET ME OUTOF HERE, I BELIEVE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAVE ME. I BELIEVETHAT YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD. I BELIEVE YOU DIED FOR ME AND WAS RAISEDUP. I CONFESS WITH MY MOUTH THAT YOU ARE THE LORD AND I BELIEVE WITHMY WHOLE HEART. PLEASE, FORGIVE ME. PLEASE SAVE ME.” Needless to say,by this time I was on the floor. I stopped crying, got up and satdown in the chair. I noticed something was different. I wasn’tlaughing or filled with joy at that moment but what I noticed wasthat for the first time in my life the noise in my head stopped. Allof the confusion was gone. It was just quiet. I don’t know how elseto explain it. Suddenly I heard a different voice than the one I hadbeen listening to. He said, “He’s a liar.” I sat up and said, “What?”and He said again, “He’s a liar, everything he has told you is alie.” I thought about it for a moment and said, “Wait a minute, ifhe’s a lie, then I’m not in hell. If he’s a lie, then I’m not alreadydead. If he’s a lie, then my life isn’t over, it’s just beginning.” Istood up, angrier than I’ve ever been, I yelled, “Satan!!! You are aliar, everything you have taught me is a lie. I gave you my life as achild and it wasn’t my life to give you. I’m taking it back and itbelongs to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. You get out of my house,get out of my life, get out of my daughter’s life, get out of my job,my friends, my finances. You get out now, in the name of Jesus, youare no longer honored here or welcomed. OUT!!!
I sat back down dazed, or totally amazed is more like it. I havenever experienced anything like this in my life. I immediately tookvacation because I really needed time off. I had no idea what hadhappened to me. It wasn’t until about a month later that I realized Iwas saved. I heard you people talking about it but experiencing itwas a whole other ball game. All I knew was I was not the same. Ispent the whole morning standing in the kitchen, looking out thewindow to the sky and I kept singing the “Alleluia” song. It was allI knew. I just keep singing and crying. Finally my daughter camehome. She asked if I needed anything and I called her to me. I justlooked at her, started crying again, and said, “He’s alive!!! He’salive!!!” She asked, “Who’s alive?” I said, “Jesus. Jesus is alive –He’s not dead, He’s not just a story or someone in history. He isreally alive!!!” She looked at me with a very puzzled look and said,”Sure mom, whatever!!!” I told her, “Listen to me. If you neverlisten to anything else I say, listen and believe this, EVERYTHING Ihave taught you is a lie, EVERYTHING. I was so wrong and have lied toyou all your life. What I said about Christians was wrong. What Itaught you about crystals, psychics, spirits, ghosts, andmaster-teacher guides was a lie. The only truth is Jesus.” Shethought I really went over the deep end and asked to go back to herfriend’s house. I spent every moment I could reading the bible. Itwas so exciting and every word seemed to come to life. The Lordministered to me in such a marvelous way.
Shortly there after my daughter gave her life to Jesus and is sucha blessing to me. She examined me carefully at first and saw that itwasn’t just a temporary thing or a fad. She saw a new mom.
Within a couple of months after being saved I had the chance totalk to Murph. I told him what happened and he truly rejoiced withhis whole heart. He just kept saying, Praise the Lord, thank youJesus. A few months later he went home to the Lord.
One more thing, about my Buddhist altar… One day I was cleaningout all my “junk” which included digging up the crystals I had buriedaround my house. We went through and threw out everything, crystals,tarot cards, wands, books, stones, chimes, bells, candles, andeverything else. I got to my altar in the closet and the Lord told meto leave it. I questioned Him thinking it wasn’t Him but there was nodoubt… it was Him. So I left it alone. About three months later fordays I kept hearing, “Not by power, not by might, but by My spirit.”I didn’t understand what He meant. Then one day I was in my kitchenand the Lord said to me, “Recall the altar.” I said, somewhatstartled, “What?” He said, “Recall the altar. Give it back.” I toldHim I would throw it away but He said to give it back. I told Him Iwould send it to my mom’s and again He said give it back. I told HimI didn’t know where to take it. He just said, “Take it back to whereyou received it!” To make a long story short, I found the church inDallas. I called to find out when I could come and entered into aconversation with a man. After much debate I told him to tell mewhere to bring it or I’ll just throw it in the dumpster. He asked myname, I told him, and he told me his name. He just happened to be theman that was the head of the church in San Francisco, where I grewup, that taught me there was no Jesus Christ. He had been transferredto the Dallas headquarters. Well, bless God, I about fell out mychair. I knew it was the Lord.
I took the altar to him. As I started to park next to the only carin the parking lot, the Lord said, “No, not here.” So I went all theway around and ended up parking nose to nose with this car. I got outof the car and as I approached the building I recognized the manimmediately. He was talking to three other people who were evidentlygoing to lunch. As they walked off, I introduced myself to him and hethen tried to stop the other three people. I headed to my car and wasat my trunk while the three people were getting in to their car infront of me. He yelled to them, “Wait, don’t go. This is the lady Itold you about.” They smiled and waved at me and proceeded to get intheir car. He yelled, “No. Wait. She is the one that wants to returnher gohonzon. This is the lady I wanted you to see.” They stood attheir doors smiling, waving and congratulating me. They said they areso happy for me and hope to get a chance to talk to me sometime. Hestomped his feet, waved his arms and said, “Don’t you hear me? Don’tyou understand me? She’s bringing it BACK.” They smiled, waved again,got in their car and drove away. We both just stood there. He ascompletely baffled and I was awe struck. We went inside and askedmany questions. He asked me if people came to my house and leftliterature. I said no. He asked if I had friends that were talking tome about Christianity. I said, “You don’t understand, when I became aChristian, I lost every single one of my friends.” He asked if I hada husband or boyfriend that converted me. I said no. I finally toldhim, “You don’t understand, Jesus Christ Himself came into my livingroom in Grand Prairie, Texas and touched me.” I was right, he didn’tunderstand. Then he asked me what religion I was. I told him I didn’tunderstand the question because I didn’t know what the religions wereor what they meant. He asked if I was Baptist, Methodist, Catholic,etc. I kept answering no to all my choices. He asked, “OK, then tellme what kind of church you attend.” I said, “The kind that lovesJesus.” I apologized for being so difficult but explained that I justdidn’t understand. He said I must belong to something. I said, “Well,all I know is He’s alive and He came in to my living room and savedmy life. I have read my bible and the only religion I found was thebody of Christ and if I must belong to something I guess you couldsay I am a member of the body of Christ.” Right at that moment theLord said to me, “Not by power, not by might, but by My Spirit youwere saved. Let this be your testimony.”
My life has never been the same!!! Praise the Lord!!! I thank theLord Jesus for never forgetting me. I really was a horrible sinneryet He didn’t forget me or leave me behind. In spite of everything Ihave done, He has forgiven me. I’m still amazed and there isn’t a daythat goes by that I don’t give thanks that He remembered me and savedme. There is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t share mytestimony with someone. Jesus truly is the most precious thing Ihave. Without him I know that I am dead. It’s only because of Himthat I have life and truly do have it more abundantly.