A great many Christian books and counselors hail compatibility as the key to a successful and happy marriage. In our view, this reflects the consumer model of our secular culture more than the sacrificial model found in Holy Scripture. Marriage, experts tell us, works only when our needs and desires are met. But no such teaching is found in the Bible. In Scripture, we find that marriage works as a man and a woman stand before God in obedient faith, giving instead of taking, and serving instead of demanding. This is our problem with the emphasis on finding a compatible companion: it turns the whole of the Christian life on its head. Jesus said of Himself, “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve” (Matt. 20:28), and surely marital love can be built on no other foundation (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
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