God’s first great design in all our trouble is that we might let go of self-confidence. When we do that, there is a temporary sense of falling. But by faith in God’s mercy, we land, infinitely more secure, in the arms of our Father, who is utterly in control at the brink of life and death.
John Piper

PainMeaning And Purpose

PainMeaning And Purpose

PAIN Meaning and purpose in the life of a Christian

The ÿexperience ÿof ÿpain, ÿin whatever ÿform ÿit ÿtakes ÿis universal. ÿÿHuman ÿsuffering ÿis one of ÿthe ÿworld’s ÿgreatest unanswered ÿquestions. ÿÿEspecially ÿduring the newness ÿof ÿthe Christmas season, do we become more and more aware of the mystery involved ÿin ÿit. ÿI’m not writing this article ÿto ÿattempt ÿan answer to the suffering question. ÿI am writing instead, ÿsimply to ÿshare ÿsome ÿof my thoughts and experiences ÿon ÿthe ÿmatter. Also, ÿÿperhaps by examining my mistakes, ÿand efforts in dealing with pain, ÿyou will have something to fall back on when it comes your way … as it inevitably will.

Just by way of background, I was on Cross Fire ’75, the team to West Africa. ÿI ÿspent much of the fifteen months we traveled in ÿpain, ÿand incredible fatigue. ÿI ÿnever really took it ÿtoo seriously, ÿÿas ÿmost ÿof ÿus were sick ÿregularly. ÿÿIt ÿbecame frustrating for me, and the entire team though, when my illnesses outweighed my healthy times. ÿThe situation reached a crisis the final ÿmonth ÿof ÿteam when I just couldn’t ÿcontinue. ÿÿI ÿÿwas hospitalized ÿat ÿthe ÿend ÿof ÿAugust ÿ1976, ÿÿand ÿdue ÿto ÿthe persistence of a caring doctor, ÿdiscovered I was the victim (and had ÿbeen ÿfor years) ÿof an incurable, ÿand ÿoftentimes ÿcruelly painful ÿdisease called Systemic Lupus Erythemetosis. ÿLupus for short. The cause, and the cure remain unknown.

I remember laying in the hospital in a state of ÿdis-belief. My ÿhead ÿwhirled with questions, ÿbut none so prevalent ÿas ÿthe eternal “why?” Why me … why now … why this? I ÿwas suddenly faced with the reality that I would be dealing with pain on a day to ÿday ÿbasis for the rest of my life. ÿIn the fear ÿthat ÿsuch thoughts bring, I began to observe the attitudes toward suffering in ÿthe ÿpeople ÿaround me. ÿMost of us view pain ÿas ÿsomething alien, ÿÿsomething ÿto ÿeradicate ÿand be rid of ÿas ÿquickly ÿas possible. This attitude may be fine when you deal with ills that are ÿtemporal, ÿdefinable, ÿand curable. ÿBut not all ÿsuffering falls ÿinto those categories. ÿWhat do we say to those ills ÿand accidents ÿÿthat ÿÿleave ÿtheir ÿvictims ÿpermanently ÿÿdisabled, disfigured, or mentally incapacitated? ÿWe cannot simply dismiss them. They are real, and difficult, and very much a mystery.

When a Christian deals with life situations, we must keep in mind ÿthe ÿfact that God is a mystery. ÿHe cannot be defined ÿor explained by our limited knowledge. ÿWho hasn’t heard someone in desperation or grief ask the unanswerable “why?” And who had the power and wisdom to respond? Once we accept that sometimes there are ÿno ÿanswers, ÿat least for now, ÿwe experience a release ÿof those gnawing doubts, ÿand become free to start learning. ÿÿWhen there ÿare ÿno answers, ÿonly questions for us, ÿwe must look ÿto Christ, ÿÿand ÿHis example. ÿJesus felt. ÿHe hurt and ÿlaughed, suffered ÿand died as we all must. ÿHe was and is God incarnate, sensitive counselor to our despair, ÿas He has felt the very same pain we do. ÿC.S. Lewis, upon the death of a dear friend, ÿwrote in his book A Grief Observed:

“When ÿI lay these questions before God, ÿI ÿget no ÿanswer. But, a rather special no answer. It is not a locked door. It is more ÿlike a silent, ÿcertainly not unkind gaze. ÿAs ÿthough ÿHe shook His head, ÿnot in refusal, but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace Child, you don’t understand.”

The ÿenigma of pain reflects the mystery of God. ÿIt begins as a journey of trust. We can choose to accept and deal with our frailty, ÿÿor, ÿlike Ivan Dostoevsky stated, ÿ”If God offered ÿme suffering ÿas a pass through life, ÿI ÿfor one would ÿreturn ÿthe ticket.” ÿWe can face, ÿand even learn from the realities of our humanity, or we can run from them.

Why ÿmust suffering remain a mystery? ÿI ÿcan’t give a ÿpat answer, ÿÿbut isn’t it true that the times we are closest to ÿthe Lord ÿare those times we have no control? ÿFor me these are also the hours of my greatest sensitivity and compassion to those near me. ÿÿIt’s ÿonly when our efforts to rationalize ÿand ÿeradicate seemingly useless pain are gone, ÿand we reach the end of our own rope, ÿwe see Christ’s strength available to us. ÿIf the mystery were ÿfully explained, ÿthere would be no crisis. ÿMost of ÿall, there ÿwould ÿbe no need of our faith walk with God. ÿÿPain ÿand suffering are not some type of Cosmic Character Builders sent ÿby the ÿAlmighty. ÿThey are however, ÿused by Him to strengthen and cleanse our relationship to Him and to each other.

As ÿChristians ÿwe ÿbelieve that God’s ÿpromises ÿare ÿtrue. Romans 8:28 ÿreminds us that the Lord is ever present and working in our trials. Sometimes this is comforting, but often, the pain is still there, ÿand still very hard to cope with. ÿJust because we ÿknow we are living a mystery, ÿand God is using it, ÿÿdoesn’t make ÿit hurt any less. ÿBut so much of our suffering depends on our ÿattitude ÿtoward ÿit. ÿIt’s very human, ÿÿand ÿnecessary ÿI believe, ÿÿto ÿexperience ÿfear, ÿanger, ÿÿself-pity, ÿÿand ÿeven bitterness. ÿWe wouldn’t be normal if these emotions didn’t pass through us. ÿI think so often of one of my African friends, ÿwho when I reached a high pitched frustration, would always shake his head and say, ÿ”Kristi, it will pass.” It will pass. Fear, ÿand all ÿof the so-called “negative” ÿemotions that follow it can ÿbe healthy, ÿnormative, ÿand even creative forces in our lives. ÿÿA well balanced emotional human is capable of them all. ÿThey only become evil when we allow them to immobilize and blind us to ÿthe lessons ÿwe could be learning. ÿPersonally, ÿI ÿhave ÿchosen ÿto concentrate on life, ÿmy life as it is now. ÿI ÿcannot wish ÿthe pain away, or ignore it. It has become a very real part of who I am. ÿÿBut what I can do, ÿwhether I am suffering or not, ÿis ÿto concentrate ÿon ÿthe ÿhealth ÿthat exists ÿinside ÿof ÿme. ÿÿThe acceptance of my human condition, ÿin the light of God’s promises leads to a fresh hope, and a new peace of mind.

As ÿI study the Bible, ÿI’m always amazed at the ÿincredible sensitivity Jesus has toward us. ÿWe humans, ÿunfortunately ÿare much ÿmore ego-centric in our view of suffering. ÿWe ÿmean ÿwell usually, but never quite know what to say or do. In sharing with a ÿperson in pain, ÿor dealing with it yourself, ÿit is vital ÿto remember ÿthat ÿthe ÿsuffering Christian lives ÿwith ÿa ÿconstant reminder ÿof ÿhis/her ÿfrailty. ÿThere is no question ÿthat ÿGod heals, ÿÿlikewise ÿthere ÿis ÿno question that ÿwe ÿdon’t ÿalways understand ÿhow ÿHe ÿdoes so. ÿOurs is not a total ÿtheology ÿof glory. We live, as Martin Luther puts it, ÿ”In the shadow of the Cross.” ÿÿWe ÿmust take this cross seriously, ÿwith all of ÿit’s implications. There is no victory without defeat, ÿglory without shame, ÿor health without suffering. ÿFor example; I ÿcannot say that I have been healed of my disease. (Not yet anyway) I can say however, ÿthat I have been healed of many other things through my disease. ÿÿI’ve ÿnever felt as loved as when I discovered I ÿhad Lupus. I saw Christ alive through the caring of His church, ÿand I ÿÿexperienced ÿfirsthand ÿthe ÿsensitivity ÿand ÿfaith ÿof ÿHis followers. Healing with suffering … victory, in the shadows.

I’d ÿlike to tell you that I accept and trust at all ÿtimes, but ÿI ÿcan’t. ÿI’m human. ÿWhen I’m in pain, ÿÿI’m ÿconstantly reminded ÿof my mortality. ÿBut, ÿI’m also reminded that in ÿthe shadow (or light?) ÿof the cross, and God’s promise of redemption through Christ, there is hope.

In ÿclosing ÿout my thoughts, ÿI ÿthink ÿit’s ÿimportant ÿto mention ÿa little bit on the practical side of sensitivity to the suffering person. I ÿbelieve the most important attitude you can take is honesty. ÿA ÿperson is rarely alone in their pain. ÿÿIf there ÿare people around who care, ÿthey will be suffering ÿalso. If ÿyou ÿfind ÿyourself in that boat, ÿdon’t be afraid ÿto ÿadmit you’re afraid. Be honest about your feelings, hurts, ÿand fears. If ÿyou’re ÿangry or confused, ÿtalk about it, ÿÿit ÿhelps. ÿÿBe supportive ÿof the suffering person, ÿbut don’t pity them. ÿÿLet them know you care by being yourself, ÿthat is after all who they love and need. Accept the ills of those you’re dealing with as a part ÿof ÿthemselves. ÿA ÿvery real part. ÿMost of all, ÿÿdon’t underestimate ÿthem. ÿÿThey ÿwill fight the ÿpain, ÿÿfear, ÿÿand desperation hand in hand with you, and with our Lord.

I hope some of the things I’ve talked about will help you in your ÿtrials. ÿÿI ÿhope it helps the next time you hold me, ÿÿor someone like me as they cry. ÿI ÿhope most of all, ÿyou use your experience in suffering to grow in sensitivity, ÿand that our God will burn into your conscience your need of Him in health as well as ÿpain. ÿÿThis ÿChristmas, ÿmay you be guided ÿby ÿthe ÿtender compassion of our bleeding Savior.

Kristi Lee Hernmeir

NOTE: This article was written by Kristi for the Christmas, 1977 issue ÿof the National Lutheran Youth Encounter Newspaper. ÿÿThe article was written only a few days before Kristi’s death.

Permission ÿto reprint the article was given by Pastor ÿGene and Ruby Hernmeir, Kristi’s parents.