Solomons Proverbs On Raising C

Solomons Proverbs On Raising C SOLOMON’S PROVERBS ON RAISING CHILDREN by Randall Hillebrand “To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles.” (Proverbs 1:2-6) Solomon tells us that it is a good thing to study proverbs. ÿThis

is ÿbecause ÿproverbs ÿis filled with wisdom and ÿinstruction ÿthrough which one can increase in learning and acquire wise counsel; where one can ÿdiscover ÿsayings ÿof understanding and be taught wise ÿbehavior. This ÿis why I chose to glean the Book of Proverbs for bits of ÿwisdom on the proper way in which to raise children, ÿin a manner pleasing to God. Also, ÿas the proverb above states, ÿ”To the youth knowledge and discretion” ÿÿcome from their learning and understanding of ÿproverbs. So ÿthe ÿfirst ÿpiece of wisdom that I see Proverbs ÿteaching ÿon ÿthe raising ÿof ÿchildren ÿis that it is very profitable ÿto ÿteach ÿone’s children ÿthe proverbs contained in this book. ÿNot only would it ÿbe profitable ÿto ÿteach ÿfrom ÿthis book, ÿbut from all ÿof ÿthe ÿwisdom literature in the Old Testament for the understanding which they ÿwill receive. And to take it even a step further, we know that not only is wisdom literature profitable for teaching, ÿbut that “All Scripture is inspired ÿby ÿGod ÿand ÿprofitable for teaching, ÿÿfor ÿreproof, ÿÿfor correction, for training in righteousness; ÿthat the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” (II Timothy 3:16-17). So, we should ÿteach ÿall ÿscripture to our children, ÿkeeping ÿin ÿmind ÿthe application derived from Deuteronomy 6:4-7, which is an exhortation to love ÿGod ÿwith everything we have, ÿto keep in our heart the word ÿof God, ÿÿand ÿto diligently teach the scriptures to our children at ÿall times ÿ(“when you sit in your house and walk by the way and ÿwhen ÿyou lie down and when you rise up.” ÿvs. 7). Maybe Deuteronomy 6:4-7 ÿwas in the back of Solomon’s mind when he wrote Proverbs 1:8-9 which says, “Hear, ÿÿmy son, ÿyour father’s instruction, ÿand do not forsake ÿyour mother’s ÿteaching; ÿindeed, ÿthey are a graceful wreath to your head, and ÿornaments ÿabout ÿyour neck.” ÿWhere Deuteronomy ÿ6:4-7 ÿÿis ÿan injunction ÿto parents, ÿProverbs 1:8 ÿis an injunction ÿto ÿchildren. Solomon ÿis ÿnot ÿonly ÿtelling ÿthem ÿto ÿlisten ÿto ÿtheir ÿfather’s instruction, ÿÿbut this verse has the idea of obeying them also. ÿÿSo when the father gives instructions, ÿthe children carry them out. The children ÿare ÿalso ÿtold not to forsake ÿor ÿabandon ÿtheir ÿmother’s teachings, ÿprobably meaning the teachings of the scriptures which was usually ÿpart ÿof ÿthe ÿmother’s ÿduties ÿsince ÿthe ÿfather ÿdid ÿnot alwayshave ÿthe time to do so. ÿSo as the parents are told to ÿteach, the ÿchildren ÿare ÿtold to listen and respond. ÿVerse ÿ9 ÿgives ÿthe results ÿof children that abide by verse 8, ÿwhich is that “they are a graceful ÿwreath to your head, ÿand ornaments about your ÿneck.” ÿÿIn other words, they are something to be displayed because of their value and they are prize possessions that bring pride to their parents. Any parent ÿwould be happy and proud to display their children for ÿothers to see if they are obedient.

The next proverb which shed light on the raising of children was Proverb 1:7. ÿHere we see that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;” but “fools despise wisdom and instruction.” ÿSolomon’s use of the phrase, ÿ”fear of the Lord,” has more than just the idea of fear. ÿWhen the Israelite used this word fear (Hebrew-“yare'”) ÿÿwith respect to God, ÿit had the idea of the highest reverence and ÿrespect combined with love that a child could have for a parent. ÿThe ÿaspect of ÿfear ÿwas ÿstill there, ÿbut because of ÿthe ÿexpression ÿof ÿlove involved, it became more of an awe toward God; a fear without torment. (Kufeldt ÿ475). ÿÿThis ÿis ÿwhat we are to teach ÿour ÿchildren ÿwhen teaching them the fear of God, ÿnot a type of fear that causes them to go ÿand hide in a corner from, ÿnor attempt to lie to God ÿevery ÿtime they ÿsin because of their fear that God will be cruel and mean toward them. This kind of fear knows that God will chastise the disobedient, but also knows that it is for their best. So having this type of fear is the beginning of knowledge, ÿbecause understanding what it means to fear ÿGod is in itself an important piece of knowledge to have. ÿÿBut also, having a fear of God shows that one believes in God, which gives him the ability to grow closer to and learn more about God, ÿwhich ÿis the beginning of true knowledge. So the second thing we need to do as parents ÿis ÿto ÿteach our children the “fear of God” ÿwhich ÿ”is ÿthe beginning of knowledge,”otherwise we will have children who are fools, “fools” ÿÿwho ÿwill ÿ”despise ÿwisdom ÿand ÿinstruction.” ÿÿThe ÿword instruction here has the idea of discipline, correction, chastisement, which ÿsays that these are the kind of things that they despise. ÿThe man ÿwho despises these things will live a life that is ÿundisciplined and ÿirresponsible, ÿa ÿlife that is full of one mishap after ÿanother because ÿhe has not learned the fear of God and put God in His ÿproper place.

The Book of Proverbs has a number of things to say about the discipline of children. We will even see that in some of the proverbs looked ÿat ÿthe ÿrod ÿwill ÿbe discussed ÿas ÿa ÿtool ÿof ÿdiscipline, challenging ÿsome today that would say that when a child misbehaves we should ÿtalk to him or her, ÿbut never spank. ÿThis would ÿespecially challenge those today that say children should not even be disciplined by ÿtalking ÿto them because we may hinder their ÿcreative ÿabilities. But ÿas we will see, ÿSolomon disagrees with this philosophy of ÿchild rearing. Proverbs 23:13 ÿbrings Solomon’s view across vividly when he says, ÿ”Do not hold back discipline from the child, ÿalthough you beat him with the rod, he will not die.” The word “beat” here has the idea of ÿsmiting ÿor striking with a powerful effect. ÿIt is ÿnot ÿtalking about ÿa ÿcouple pats on the child’s behind. ÿAnd as ÿSolomon ÿstates further, “he will not die.” Some may say, that’s too cruel, ÿchildren do not need a spanking like that. ÿYes, ÿthere is some truth in that. All ÿchildren ÿare ÿdifferent and they all respond ÿto ÿdiscipline ÿin different ways. But Solomon has a very good reason for this as can be seen in the next verse. ÿHe says, ÿ”You shall beat him with the ÿrod, and deliver his soul from Sheol.” I believe this truth can be seen in Proverbs ÿ22:6 ÿwhere Solomon says, ÿ”Train up a child in the ÿway ÿhe should ÿgo, ÿÿeven when he is old he will not depart from it.” ÿIf ÿa child ÿis ÿtrained in the way he should go, ÿwhich includes a fear ÿof God, teaching about God and discipline to keep his way straight, ÿthen we ÿare ÿtold that “when he is old he will not depart from ÿit.” ÿÿIn other ÿwords, ÿwhat one learns as a child will in most cases be ÿlived out ÿby that person in adulthood. ÿSo an undisciplined child will ÿin most ÿcases ÿturn out to be an undisciplined adult, ÿas a ÿdisciplined child ÿwill ÿprobably ÿbe disciplined as an adult. ÿSolomon ÿis ÿjust letting parents know that the discipling of their children has eternal consequences (delivering them from Sheol). ÿSolomon further tells ÿus in Proverbs 13:24 ÿthat the one “who spares his rod hates his son, but he ÿwho loves him disciplines him diligently.” ÿThe word “diligently” means to look for early. So it is not the kind of situation where the parents discipline the child when they get around to it, ÿbut it is an immediate ÿhandling ÿof ÿdisciplinary ÿaction. ÿÿSolomon ÿalso ÿsays, “Discipline ÿyour ÿson while there is hope,” ÿ(Proverbs 19:18) ÿÿor ÿa literal ÿtranslation which would be discipline your son for ÿthere ÿis hope. ÿSolomon is telling us here that there is hope for our children if they are disciplined. He states further in that verse, “And do not desire ÿhis death,” ÿor in other words, ÿdo not set your heart on ÿhis destruction. ÿÿDo ÿnot make the decision that he is a ÿhopeless ÿcase without trying to help him. (Kufeldt 548). ÿAgain trying to help this child ÿcan be done through discipline as stated in this verse and ÿtwo others that we will be looking at.

Proverbs ÿ22:15 ÿÿtells us that “foolishness is bound up ÿin ÿthe heart of a child,” ÿbut there is hope as stated above. ÿWhat is ÿthat hope? ÿThat hope is seen in the latter part of this verse which says, “the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” ÿThe foolishness that ÿthe discipline will remove can be defined as silliness or folly; acting ÿin such ÿa ÿway ÿso as to be irresponsible in their ÿacts ÿand behavior. ÿÿAnother ÿinstance ÿwhere discipline brings hope is in the case of ÿthe one ÿwho forsakes his way. ÿSolomon tells us that ÿ”stern discipline ÿis for him who forsakes the way” ÿand that “he ÿwho ÿhates repoof will die.” (Proverbs 15:10). ÿÿThis verse is true for any age, but with our specific application to children, we can see that a child that forsakes ÿor decides to leave the way can be brought back through the ÿuse of discipline. ÿWhat is Solomon talking about when he ÿtalks about him that forsakes the way? ÿFrom the context it seems as though he is talking about forsaking the way of God –going your own way ÿand doing ÿyour ÿown ÿthing. ÿÿIn the case of a child, ÿnot ÿobeying ÿhis parents, ÿwhich ÿis a direct sin against God assuming that the parents are not having the child go against the moral law of God. ÿThe latter part ÿof ÿthe ÿverse ÿmakes ÿit ÿclear that he ÿwho ÿhates ÿrepoof ÿor correction is headed for death. This is because the child in our case is ÿnot ÿlistening to the parents’ ÿreproof, ÿwhich shows his lack ÿof sense. By not listening to the parents, ÿthe child may never consider the things of God in ÿhis life,which will definitely lead to spiritual death. ÿFrom ÿa physical standpoint, ÿthe child may not listen to the parent’s ÿreproof about the proper way to cross a street. ÿThis could later ÿend ÿin ÿthe child’s death because he did not ÿlook ÿboth ÿways before crossing as he was told.

Solomon further states along these lines that “whoever loves discipline ÿloves ÿknowledge, ÿÿbut he who hates reproof ÿis ÿstupid.” (Proverbs 12:1). ÿIn the case of the child above, ÿif he would be one that loves discipline (knowing that it is for his best), it would then be ÿtrue that he has a love for knowledge because he understands ÿthat when discipline is applied, ÿthere is a definite lesson to be ÿlearned for future living. ÿHe would be happy to be set straight each time he falters, ÿÿknowing ÿthat this discipline would keep him living a ÿlife pleasing ÿto ÿGod. ÿAs the child above may run out in front of a ÿcar someday because he did not listen to his parents’ ÿreproof, ÿthe child who ÿloves ÿdiscipline would not do that because he would ÿhave ÿtaken heed ÿto past warnings. ÿSolomon says that the child who hates repoof is stupid. ÿHe is stupid because if he is not reproved, ÿhe will ÿnot learn. ÿSo we can say that this child hates knowledge because he does not ÿwant ÿto learn from his past mistakes. ÿAlong these same ÿlines, Proverbs ÿ13:1 ÿÿtells ÿus ÿthat ÿ”a wise ÿson ÿaccepts ÿhis ÿfather’s discipline, ÿbut a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” ÿWhy does ÿthe wise ÿson ÿaccept ÿhis father’s ÿdiscipline? ÿÿBecause ÿhis ÿfather’s discipline ÿis knowledge for the son to live by as stated ÿpreviously. But ÿthe ÿscoffer, ÿone who intensely looks down at others, ÿdoes ÿnot listen ÿto ÿrebuke. ÿThis is because the scoffer sees himself ÿabove everyone else and above anything that they would have to tell him. So when the scoffer is rebuked for wrongdoings, ÿit means nothing to ÿhim since he would never make a mistake. He, as the child above that hates reproof, is himself stupid.

Relating ÿto the son accepting his father’s discipline, ÿÿSolomon tells his son not to reject God’s discipline. ÿHe says, ÿ”my son, ÿdo not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves he ÿreproves, ÿÿeven as a father, ÿthe ÿson ÿin whom he delights.” ÿÿÿ(Proverbs ÿÿ3:11-12). ÿÿParents ÿneed ÿto ÿÿhave ÿÿgood communication with their children so that they can discuss pretty much anything ÿand everything with them. ÿThis can come in handy by ÿbeing able to help the child see God working in his life, whetherin the area of ÿdiscipline or blessing to the child. ÿIf the parents are keen ÿto the ÿhappenings ÿin the child’s life, ÿthey may be able to see if ÿthe child is rejecting the Lord’s discipline or loathing His reproof. ÿIn other words, to see if the child is rejecting the Lord’s discipline by continuing ÿin ÿthe ÿsin ÿthat the ÿLord ÿjust ÿdisciplined ÿhim ÿfor, indicating ÿno ÿregard for the Lord or for his discipline. ÿÿAlso ÿto watch ÿand see if the child is loathing the Lord’s repoof which ÿmeans basically ÿhaving a hatred, ÿor sickening and intense fear toward that reproof. ÿReproof being an understanding of the sin committed as well as ÿany ÿactions that need to be taken because of and/or against ÿthat sin. ÿÿWe ÿneed ÿto show our children that God has a good ÿreason ÿto discipline and reprove them and us alike. This reason is seen in verse 12 ÿwhen Solomon says, “for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, ÿÿthe son in whom he delights.” ÿGod disciplines ÿbecause ÿhe loves us. Not only does he love us, but he loves us as a father loves his child in whom he finds great pleasure.

Lastly ÿin considering the area of discipline, ÿSolomon tells ÿus that “the ÿrod of reproof gives wisdom, ÿbut a child who gets his ÿown way brings shame to ÿhis mother.” ÿ(Proverbs 29:15). ÿWhat Solomon is telling us here is that through discipline of our children, ÿthey will learn the proper way in which to act. They will learn to fear God, to respect ÿtheir ÿparents, ÿand how to live a valuable life for God ÿand others. As can be seen from the latter part of this verse, ÿthe child who ÿis ÿnot disciplined but gets his own way and does what ÿhe ÿwants will ÿdo nothing but bring shame to his mother. ÿThis is ÿso ÿbecause this ÿkind ÿof ÿa ÿchild becomes nothing more ÿthan ÿa ÿself-centered, uncaring and disrespectful person that brings no honor to his ÿfamily, especially his mother. This kind of child, besides bringinghis mother shame, ÿÿalso brings her grief; ÿand he despises her ÿ(Proverbs ÿ10:1; 15:20). ÿÿThis ÿkind ÿof a child is nothing but a ÿheartache ÿto ÿhis mother, who shows his dislike towards her by being foolish in his ways and by bringing her sorrow and shame at the mention of his name. This type ÿof ÿchild is a disgrace to this whole family in ÿcontrast ÿto ÿa child who has learned from the rod of repoof. When the rod of reproof is used in such a way so as to bring wisdom to the child, proverbs say that it makes his father glad (Proverbs 10:1; 15:20).

As ÿcan ÿbe ÿseen ÿfrom ÿthe ÿabove ÿdiscussion ÿon ÿÿdiscipline, discipline is very important in the rearing of children. So the third thing ÿparents ÿneed ÿto ÿdo ÿin the raising of their children ÿis ÿto discipline them, using a rod when necessary. I ÿwill end this section on discipline by quoting Proverbs ÿ29:17, ÿÿ”Correct your son, ÿand he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.”

Two ÿother ÿimportant truths of Proverbs that I believe ÿa ÿchild should know will now be discussed. ÿThe first one is seen in Proverbs 14:12 which says, ÿ”there is a way whichseems right to a man, ÿbut its end is the way of death.” We need to teach our children that the word of God is our ÿauthority and that we need to check ÿeverything against it. Just because a way seems right to us does not mean that it is the way that God wants us to go. ÿGod may very well want us to go in ÿthe other direction. The other verse is Proverbs 22:1, ÿwhich states, ÿ”a good name ÿis ÿto be more desired than great riches, ÿfavor is ÿbetter than silver ÿand ÿgold.” ÿHere Solomon is stating that a good name in the sight of men is more important than riches because ÿriches may not last. ÿAlso, if your riches do not last, your friends may not either; but ÿwith ÿa ÿgood name it does not matter if you ÿare ÿrich ÿor ÿpoor because ÿyou ÿwill ÿhave friends not because of what ÿyou ÿhave, ÿÿbut because of who you are. Solomon also states that favor (meaning grace or ÿcharm) ÿis better than silver and gold because one’s grace can ÿgo much ÿfarther ÿthan silver or gold. ÿEspecially for a person ÿwho ÿis poor; ÿif he has grace, he can win people to himself and to his cause. So ÿif our children grow in the grace and knowledge of God and have ÿa good ÿname ÿand ÿfavor ÿamong men, ÿthey will ÿhave ÿthings ÿthat ÿare important in God’s eyes. ÿThey will also understand that wealth is not everything and that their pursuit of it, ÿbypassing the things of God, is nothing but striving after the wind.

To sumarize on raising children according to Proverbs, we need to remember the following:

1. Teach children the scriptures according to Deuteronomy 6:4-7.
2. Teach children what it means to fear God.
3. Discipline children:
   1. To deliver their souls from Sheol.
   2. To train them up in the way they should go.
   3. Because you love them.
   4. As soon as the child misbehaves.
   5. While there is still hope.
   6. To remove foolishness from them.
   7. If they forsake the way.
   8. To add to their knowledge for living.
   9. Because it gives them wisdom.
   10. So they do not bring shame and disgrace to their mother.
   11. So your children will not grow up despising their mother.
   12. So they will bring you comfort and delight to your soul.
4. Teach children that the word of God is to be their standard by

   which to live.

5. Teach children that a good name and favor are more important than riches and gold and silver.

(Note: The two references used in this paper were taken from The Wesleyan Bible Commentary, Volume II.)

From the S.O.N. BBS, WI