When Christians meet together, do they not talk too much about religion, preachers, and sermons? I cannot but think, that if they communed less about religion, and more of Jesus, it would give a higher tone of spirituality to their conversation, and prove more refreshing to the soul. He would then oftener draw near, and make Himself one in their midst, and talk with them by the way.
Mary Winslow

Sue Donaldson

Sue Donaldson

Sue Donaldson.

I am a born and bred Annapolitan (Annapolis, MD), raised Catholic. My mother struggled to send me, my sisters and brother to Catholic schools. I might not have appreciated it then, but I do now, if for no other reason than a better education than public schools here have to offer.

The product of a broken home (I was 7 years old when my parents divorced), we had to grow up pretty quickly. We didn’t hear much from my father – financially or socially – for the first few years. With my mother thrust into a position of working 12-15 hour days, we took care of the house – the cooking and cleaning. My eldest sister Nancy, then 12, was in charge.

The first two years following the divorce was, for me, full of a variety of kinds of abuse from assorted family members (not immediate family). The safest thing to do was to withdraw from life, from people. But that didn’t stop the pain. Not hearing from my father served to worsen things for me; I had always been “daddy’s girl.”

Maybe that was the reason I got so involved in the YoungLife group as a freshman in high school, when I was 13. Somehow I knew Jesus loved me, and wouldn’t hurt me, and I could always cry about my problems to Him without creating any more. I felt accepted, without being judged. Safe.

The people I met – the priests associated with the school and the others involved in the group – felt like a *real* family to me. It was incredible how close the feeling was. People’s pasts didn’t matter; the present and the future were important. Most important was our love for the Lord and the fellowship in Christ we had together.

The next two years were filled with a spiritual growth the likes of which I’d have never thought possible! There were no limits on our rejoicing, and I would never have thought a prayer life could have been any fuller than it was at that point.

As I entered my junior year, the majority of the group had graduated, and YoungLife disbanded. Guess I felt sort of abandoned (again).

At 15 years of age I was working about 25 hours a week – and drinking pretty heavily. At 16 I started smoking pot. My freshman year in college, I met – and started dating – a dealer, and was soon involved with cocaine, speed, LSD, mushrooms, hash, opium and probably a couple other drugs I can’t recall at the moment.

Four years later, I broke it off with the dealer, but still hung onto the drugs. Hey – they were security…a way to “cope.”

During those 13 “wasted years, ” a lot happened…failed relationships, lost friendships, a lot of turmoil. Suicide entered my mind, as it probably enters the minds of a lot of people involved in drugs to that degree. And while I didn’t actively seek it, my actions leaned in a different direction. I’d go for days without eating or sleeping. I *had* to stay on the speed, I rationalized; after all, I was taking 15 credits in college and working 35 hours a week.

A friend – whose opinion I valued more than life itself at that point – said to me “Sue. You’ve gotta stop this. You *have* to slow down. Lay off the speed, get some rest and eat something. If you don’t, you’re gonna kill yourself.” I smiled at Scott and said “I don’t care.” And I meant it.

I’m not sure what happened to change that attitude, and I can’t point to a specific time that it happened, but I found myself feeling out of control. Gradually, I broke out of the addictions and got away from the drugs. Pot was the hardest thing give up, though. My last round with it was in July, 1988.

Even before I gave that up, though, I felt a tug from Above; a burning desire…no, a NEED…to regain that relationship with Christ that I had once, what seemed like a lifetime ago. And I started seeking that relationship, albeit fairly feebly and in the wrong places. I began by talking with people, hoping to maybe rekindle a spark that I believed was still there, somewhere.

Months passed and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to find what I sought. I wasn’t sure I deserved to have that back again. Through the bulletin boards I met a fellow in Baltimore who told me to relax about it and not be as worried as I had been; that things would happen in their own time.

Less than two months after that, I found myself calling SMCIS. To this day, I do not know where I got the phone number for the board. With that first call, a series of amazing “coincidences” began to happen…

..I do not call long distance boards, but I began to call SMCIS. Every day.

..Buggs Bugnon invites me to a CBMC outreach dinner, which I attended.

..In response to a message to someone else, Buggs told me he could put me in touch with a couple here in Annapolis who might be able to help me regain the degree of faith I once enjoyed. While Annapolis is not a huge city, it’s not very small, either. The couple he put me in touch with – Andy & Sheila Buist – live less than 2 miles from me.

..Sheila and I were discussing the importance of reading the Bible. I told her I was having difficulty doing that, probably because I found the language in the KJV a little archaic, and that was all I had at the time. Three days later in a class in Ellicott City, the group broke for lunch (which we NEVER do), and walked across the highway for something to eat. This was the first day in seven it had not rained. On our way back, the teacher spied a book in the ground, bent over and picked it up. Smiling, he handed it to me and said “Here. This *must* be for you.” It was a (NIV) Ryrie Study Bible…soaking wet, but otherwise looked brand new. Three days later it was dry and in perfect working order.

..Buggs and the Buists started telling me about the CBMC conferene at Sandy Cove. As it turned out, I had already put in for that exact week off, but had no plans at that point.

There are other “coincidences” too numerable to mention. Since March, my faith and relationship with our Lord has grown and blossomed like flowers in springtime. Praise the Lord, my entire life has changed! I’ve gone from worrying about scoring drugs to getting up at 5:30 in the morning so I can read the Bible and pray before I have to go to work! My concerns aren’t with “fitting in with the crowd” or “trying to escape reality, ” but with making sure I live a life that will give tribute to our Father.

No, it’s not all peaches and cream. It’s not all roses. There are still concerns, worries and troubles. Trying to figure out if I really belong in the Catholic Church is a pressing question for me right now. Trying my best to help others and perhaps bring another person to the point I enjoy now weighs heavily. Being a witness is very important. It’s not easy. But it’s a real, honest, joy!!

And the future will no doubt be filled with more problems and more questions. After all, we *all* are engaged in that spiritual warfare. And with renewed faith comes a battle which is even more heated than before. But the joy is in knowing Christ is with me, and with us all. And that through Him, all things can be accomplished. As I look back at the last 14 years of my life, I know He was by my side all the way. I certainly could not have lived through that without Him.

My wife Ann and I are very proud to call Sue Donaldson our friend. Although we are mentioned above, we had nothing to do with how the Lord has worked in the life of Sue Donaldson and how He will continue to work in her life as she continue to let go and let God.

..Buggs Bugnon