Dr M Schiffman personal tes
The Pursuit of G-d
by
Dr. Michael Schiffman
I was born into a traditional Jewish family in New York in August 1955. From my earliest recollections, I was taught about the existence of G-d, that He loved the Jewish people and watched over us, and that we are His. When we would go to Shul, I was greatly impressed with the sense of G-d’s awesomeness.
When I was 8 years old I began my Jewish education, attending Hebrew school after public school two days a week, plus Saturday Shabbat services. It was at that point that I began to learn about the G-d of Israel. As we studied Jewish history from the Holy Scriptures, I found that G-d was a personal G-d; Throughout the Tenach (the Old Testament Scriptures), I read the “L-rd spoke to Abraham, Abraham spoke to the L-rd; Moses spoke to the L-rd, the L-rd spoke to Moses; David spoke to the L-rd, the L-rd spoke to David.” The same was true about Elijah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and many others. I desired to know G-d in this way too.
I found that even with the awe I felt in Shabbat services, I did not know G-d. I thought that the reason I did not know Him was that I was not Bar Mitzvahed yet, so I looked forward with great anticipation to my 13th birthday, because I was preparing to meet G-d. The time came, and I was Bar Mitzvahed. But to my disappointment, I found that I did not know G-d any more after I was Bar Mitzvahed, then before. I was disappointed, but I thought that perhaps I was not observant enough to know G-d.
I began attending Minyans (Morning Prayers) and donning T’fillin, but found that I did not know G-d through those things. I thought that I needed further education to know G-d as they did in the Holy Scriptures. I continued my Hebrew education for two years, yet I did not find G-d in the education. I had a talk with the rabbi and explained what I read in Scripture, and that I desired to know G-d in that way. He said, “You think you deserve to know G-d?” I had to admit I didn’t, but that did not satisfy me. Some of the people in Scripture didn’t deserve it either, yet they knew Him. I was frustrated and felt let down.
I did not change my beliefs, but decided that G-d had obviously chosen NOT to know me, so I would stop trying to hard to know Him. I believed He was knowable, but only if He chose to reveal Himself. I had concluded that He did not wish to do so.
When I was 18, I moved from New York to Phoenix, Arizona where I attended Arizona State University. This was the first time I had lived in a place where Jewish people were a minority. Because of this circumstance, I was able to meet people of different backgrounds, and was able to exchange ideas with many people.
One great place to talk was in the dormitory cafeteria. We would sit around and atheists would argue with Born Again believers, and I would just take it in or give my two cents worth as well. One day the atheists were arguing with the Evangelicals about whether or not it was possible to know G-d. The atheists were saying that G-d doesn’t exist, but IF He did, people could not know Him because He would be too busy creating universes somewhere. The evangelicals were saying that He IS knowable. I argued in favor of the evangelicals, saying that from a Jewish perspective G-d COULD be knowable, but that He chooses not to be knowable. After dinner, I continued the conversation with the Evangelicals. They began to tell me about Jesus. I stopped them short and told them that Jesus is not for the Jews, and they could put away their New Testaments, because I don’t accept it as valid for me. They left me alone after that.
A week later, we got into another discussion in the cafeteria, and as we talked more about G-d, they began to show me prophecies from the Tenach about the Messiah that sounded like Jesus. Even though I had never seen a New Testament, I had seen the movies about the life of Jesus, and those prophecies sounded very much like the Jesus of the movies. I pointed out to these people that the Bibles they had were Christian bibles, and I could not trust their translations. For all I knew those passages could have been inserted in Christian bibles just to “fool” the Jewish people into believing in Jesus. To prove them wrong, I had my mother send me the Holy Scriptures I received at my Bar Mitzvah. I was shocked to find that the Jewish Bible had those same prophecies. I pointed out that Jesus was for Gentiles, but I am Jewish. It was O.K. for them to believe but not for me. (I did not know at that time that Jesus was VERY MUCH for Jewish people and that His name was Yeshua). The only problem I had was that I found the Scriptures I believed in spoke of Yeshua, but I felt He was not for Jewish people. I needed a reason to reject Him.
I believed that the best place to find an excuse not to believe in Yeshua would be the church, because I believed they hated Jewish people. I asked my friends if I could attend church with them. I had never attended a church before and I thought that they would be idolatrous, because they prayed to saints, and thought they were anti-Semitic.
My friends took me to their Baptist church. There were no statues and no crosses. It was a very plain building. The people were friendly. I found no fault with them. I thought the message would be anti-Semitic. The pastor spoke from Leviticus that morning. I could find no fault with the message. I didn’t care for the songs about Jesus, but since it was a church, I couldn’t complain. I left there disappointed that I could find no reason to reject Jesus.
The next week I was talking with my friends, and they shared how Yeshua was the Messiah, and since He was, I was not accepting something non-Jewish, but was believing in the Messiah who came for Israel. When I asked why the Jewish people didn’t recognize Him when He came, they showed me the New Covenant records of the thousands of Jewish people who believed. They showed me Isaiah 53:1 which says, “Who has believed our Message, and to whom has the arm of the L-rd been revealed?” They showed me Isaiah 59:2, which explained that it is our sins that separate us from G-d. I realized that G-d did want to know me, but my sins had kept me from knowing Him. Isaiah 53 said the Messiah would bear our sins.
The next day, I was by myself thinking about these things, and an inaudible voice spoke to me saying, “You read the prophecies, who did they speak of?” I said, “Jesus.” The voice said, “You attended church. Was it anti-Semitic or Idolatrous?” I said, “No.” The voice said, “Who am I, and what are you going to do about it?” At that point I realized that Yeshua was speaking to me and I believed He was the Messiah. I prayed and asked Yeshua to come into my life, give me atonement for my sins, and to be my Messiah. On that day, November 23, 1973, I entered into a personal relationship with the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the G-d of my fathers, through the Messiah of Israel, Yeshua of Nazareth.