1. First, make a full list of all the things that you have been doing wrong in your marriage. 2. Second, confess your sins in repentance to God. 3. Third, determine to change according to Biblical precepts and examples, and write out specific proposals next to each item on the list. 4. Fourth, go humbly to your husband or wife…and admit your sins against them, telling them that you have sought and found God’s forgiveness and now desire theirs. 5. Fifth, having received forgiveness, seek to rectify any wrongs immediately whenever that is possible.
Jay Adams

Family survey at Church X

Family survey at Church X

by Glen on 2001-12-30 00:08:20

[The following article is a survey of one poll-taker’s results when surveying
his congregation on what they valued and needed from a church… – ed]

1) For the sake of privacy, When a respondent said ‘my son’ or ‘my daughter’,
it will be expressed here as ‘my child’

2) For conciseness, When several respondents make the exact same comment. It
will be expressed once with a number, indicating the number of people that
made that comment, following it.

1. Family Context
10 Husband, Wife and Child(ren)[one family indicated Close extended
family nearby]
4 Blended Family
1 Single Parent and Child(ren)

2. What do you like about your family ?
Father involved in childcare and household responsibilities (3)
We are healthy (2)
We are interested in the same things (4)
Independent
Video games, money
Generally Happy
Nuclear Family (We have a Father,
Mother and Siblings) (2)
Our Closeness (3)
Never a dull moment
Communication good (4)
Sense of humor (3)
Our Trust
Identification with parent of same gender
Sleeping with my spouse
God put us together (3)
Willingness to compromise
Thoughtful/considerate/well-mannered
Support one another
Active extended family
Family – Safe place
Love abounds
Quality Family Time (2)
Help with homework
Eat Dinner all together
Nicer then anybody else
Willing to handle church obligations
Good relationships with all ages of people
Sense of values
Hard-working spouse
Children don’t slow us down
Have a Focus- Christ at the center

3. What are the strengths of your family ?
Giving (2)
Preparation before marriage
Honesty
Looking out for other person
Good example for children (2)
Example of grandparents
We love each other (2)
God is part of our family (3)
hardworking
Unity – come together (5)
Independence
Values & Goals (3)
Income
Helpfulness (2)
Food
Don’t live in a cardboard box
Not in Jail
Relational
Accepting of Others
Spiritual Awareness
Good Communication

4. What would you change about your relationship with your spouse or children?
Nothing
Husband be head of
Spiritual household (2)
More family worship
Better overall organization (2)
Less television involvement
More time together (8)
privacy
More focused on
living Christian life
Reduce conflict (4)
Better communication (4)
Date-nights (2)
Get children to come to church
Housekeeping skills
Children respect authority more

5. How has Church X strengthened your family ?
Childcare good; Parents able
to worship worry-free
Good examples
Family nights in summer (2)
Fellowship of believers (6)
Counseled
Children taught Biblical truth (5)
Introduced to spouse at Church X
Learned common good values (2)
Kept marriage together
Acceptance
Food
Spiritual growth
An anchor in hard times
Introduced us to God
touch point/ accountability place
Prayer focus
Involved us in activities
/ministries age appropriately (2)
Children see us serve
encourage family unity
It hasn’t it has created
tension and conflict in my Family.
Made many close personal friends

6. What programs would you like to see at Church X ?
Positive parenting (4)
Marriage classes (2)
Bigger library – More videos
Be able to take reference material home
Opportunities to help less fortunate
Expand sports camps to more sports
Allow more time for families
to spend alone
Informal times of whole families
do stuff together
Family Dinner Rotation Night
– one family hosting one other family
Cross Country Ski excursion
toboggan party
Activities for young married couples –
with or without children
Small group Bible studies
Parent/child bonding activities
Heritage Builders
They already have everything we need
Counseling
It is enough, but I feel guilty
when I can not be here.
Outside activities for younger children
like they have for teens.
Mom’s groups, MOPS, Mom’s night out, etc.
Forum for parents to discuss parenting

7. Issues facing your family right now ?
Money management (6)
Parenting – discipline (3)
Grief – loss of extended family members
Mental instability
Family members refuse to attend church
Looking for house
Lack of time (3)
Stress (2)
Stepparent – stepchild relationship
Sibling rivalry
Problems following school rules
Learning how to raise a boy
Expecting new baby (2)
Starting in new community
Parent health problems (2)
school/peer pressures
wisdom for decisions

8. Top concerns of family
2- Alcohol or drugs
3- Friends
2- Schoolwork/homework
11- Stress
5- Communication
2- Knowledge of Scripture
4- Relationship with other
0- Violence
3- family members
1- Loneliness/isolation
5- Discipline
9- Managing finances
4- Self-esteem
7- Spiritual growth
6- Faith in Christ
9- Time management
1- Sexuality

9. Top concerns of individual
0- Alcohol or drugs
3- Friends
3- New stage in life
13- Stress
5- Communication
3- Knowledge of Scripture
5- Relationship with
0- Violence
2- Other family members
3- Loneliness/isolation
7- Work situation
6- Managing finances
2- Self-esteem
8- Spiritual growth
3- Faith in Christ
4- Time management
2- Sexuality
2- Dating issues

10. Top concerns of marriage?
1- Alcohol or drugs
1- Knowledge of Scripture
2- New stage of lives
5- Communication
3- Relationship with
6- Managing finances
2- other family members
6- Spiritual growth
3- Work situation
7- Time management
4- Understanding personality Differences
3- Faith in Christ
4- Intimacy
2- Friends
6- Stress
1- Dating issues

11. Comments of those, who refused to complete survey.

Person 1

“I am working two jobs and do not have time to do this”
Person 2

“I do not have any problems with any programs at Church X; I will let
you know if I do…”

Person 3

“NO!; I do not want anything to do with any of the programs at Church X.
They can not control the children, and are not trained to teach the Bible.”

12. Comments in-between questions

Much that I learned from the surveys came not in response to
questions, but chatting in- between questions.

A. No matter how old the parents or their children were, All parents

were interested in help; from training, books, or mentoring to peer
discussion groups .

B. The issue most mentioned was stress, with time and financial
management tied for second place.

C. I did not ask anyone about Pastor Peter Rufener, but several
people felt compelled to tell me, what a wonderful job he has done, and how
appreciative they are for his impact on the teen’s lives.

D. Three couples mentioned that the worship services seemed to be
overly orchestrated. One wondered, if there was room for the Holy Spirit to
move. Another asked why the services could not be more like Brown City Camp.
The third, said that every time, Pastor Scott, said “Join me in prayer”, spun
around and dropped to one knee; he expected to see a puff of smoke and for
somebody to disappear or for rabbits to appear.