Adultery: Is Anybody Committed Anymore?

by Kathy on 2001-03-24 08:51:49

It’s in every sitcom and soap opera. Talk shows everywhere cash in on the epidemic . . . while families are ripped apart and lives are being crushed. What is this terrible thing? Adultery.

In 1914, my grandparents were married. Sadie was 16 and John was 23. They met in church. Sadie was quite a spit fire. You never had to guess what was on her mind. She and the other girls in her church heard that the pastor’s brother was coming to town. All the girls were claiming the new young man as theirs, but guess what? That’s right. Sadie won. She put her foot down before he came to town, made her decision, and no one else had a chance! Sadie and John married, and I’m sure it was an interesting first year. Sadie speaking her mind, while John was a peacemaker. A quiet, honest to the bone, loving man who always had something good to say. Sadie gave birth to three children before she turned 21. Fifteen years later, Sadie and John had two more children, my mom being one of them. For over 50 years, they laughed together, cried together, brought up two sets of children together, and worshipped God together until John died. Sadie never remarried.

Sadie passed away when I was 14. It was one of the worst days of my life. I loved my grandmother with all my heart. She and my grandfather were my examples of what a Christian, loving, committed home should be.

When I was 22, I married with high hopes of a 50 year + marriage. I just knew I would have the same kind of wonderful marriage my grandparents had. My future husband and I had spent hours and hours discussing life and what we wanted out of it. I was confident that we were going to be so happy for the rest of our lives, but something went drastically wrong. I saws the signs of it, but couldn’t put my finger on the problem. Then one day, almost three years into our marriage, I found out that my husband was having an affair with a girl I had known all my life, in my house, while I was at work. Her husband found them in my house, and the secret was out. Needless to say, this was the worst day of my entire life. The day was June 8, 1990. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. I felt that someone had taken the largest gun in the world and blown the largest whole in me and that I would never be whole again. Because the woman would not leave her husband, my husband decided to stay and I decided to try and work it out, but the commitment on his part just wasn’t there. The affair continued, as well as two others. Verbal abuse which began long before only became worse. A year and a half later we were divorced. My dream of having a marriage like that of my grandparents was shattered.

Until a person has been through a divorce and adultery, they cannot understand the depth of the hurt the victim experiences. It took me several years to completely get over the hurt, but I am here to tell you, life does go on.

When I was going through all the anguish before and after I learned of the affair, I would often ask God to stop the pain I was experiencing unless it would help someone along the way. Since my experience, I’ve been able to help many women and a few men who have unfortunately traveled the same path. I have intervened on behalf of at least two women who were considering suicide.

If you happen to be reading this article and are experiencing the hurt and pain of adultery, please let me encourage you that God has great plans for you and you can make it. I am living proof! Realize that just because your spouse or partner cannot be faithful to you does not mean you are doomed for the rest of your life. God will raise up in you the person He has created you to be, and nothing can stop that from happening except you! I am now happily married and God gave me a faithful man who loves me and only me. We’ve been married for 8 1/2 years and have a wonderful six year old son. God willing, we will see our 50th anniversary!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11 God wants you to be at peace, and when all is said and done at the end of this life, you will have a great ending as you reflect and see all that God has accomplished in and through your life. And then, heaven! As the old song says, “It’s Worth It All.” Just the fact that I’ve been able to help so many people going through the pain caused by adultery has made the hurt I experienced worth it. People are still alive today because I am a living testimony!

If you are experiencing hurt and difficulty in your life and you need an unbiased, third party to help you through it, please contact me. I would be happy to listen and to share more of my own experiences with you. You may comment to this article, or contact me directly: kredwood65@integrity.com.

May His peace be yours today!

Kat

Disclaimer: Kathy Redwood is not a secular, professional counselor. The nature and purpose of her ministry is
discipleship, not professional/secular counseling, and she has not been trained in medicine or psychology, nor has she
been trained in any type of secular counseling. Kathy Redwood’s emphasis is in the direction of the Word of God, and
she trains people to search the scriptures (the Bible) for answers to life’s problems. Neither Kathy Redwood nor
welovegod.org nor any of its owners, members, or representatives are responsible for, and cannot be held liable for,
any harm, injury, or loss occurring in the lives of participants of this topic. Kathy Redwood cannot control decisions or
events in participants’ lives or what participants may decide to do in the future.