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Advice For Parents Of Gay Child

Advice For Parents Of Gay Child

ADVICE FOR PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN

You will probably feel that you are a solitary case, instead of one in a giant minority scattered everywhere in the world. If parents could recall other cases when friends of theirs had heard similar disclosures made by children, the jolt would be far less. Being a homosexual does not negate parental love, any more than God negates His love for His children when they have fallen into sin. He still loves us. After kids tell their parents of their homosexual involvement, at least their own inner struggle has been externalized.

Your child is no tragedy. He is still your child. Knowing he is involved in homosexuality does not erase all the joy and blessing he has been to you over the years in growing up Just because you learned of his problem, does it mean you cannot be the same loving mother you were a few hours before you knew this? Has he changed? Wasn’t this the same child you would do anything for, even give your life to save his? Where is the love and compassion which you displayed so easily before?

When your child reveals a piece of his own life to you, this is an expression of deep trust. Making this disclosure to you is probably one of the major decisions of his life. Your reaction will be long remembered. What a terrific opportunity for all parents to show their loyalty and allegiance to their child, when they are first aware he is caught in this dilemma. Does the knowledge of it somehow cripple our ability to show our allegiance to him?

Get across to him that you love him no matter what. This unconditional love is what you must communicate to him. You love him, but you must hate his sin because it hurts him. Regardless of his condition, you love him. If he is caught in deep sin, willing to change, unwilling to change, or even if he is too uptight to talk about it with you, make him aware that your love does not depend on his behaviour. You can love him because of his struggle, not in spite of it.

Keep your love flowing to your child in every possible way you can demonstrate it. This will prevent stagnation and bitterness from settling in your own heart. It will assure and insure him of this unconditional love you are showing him which will remind him of God’s love for him.

Stay close to the Lord. Sometimes, situations like this drive people to God. If you were not in fellowship before this, you can be now. Praise the Lord in the midst of this situation, knowing God will restore your child in His time to complete fellowship. Be ready to welcome your child with open arms, no questions asked.

Make your continual reflection be, “Praise the Lord anyhow!” This situation came to you through God’s special filter to purify your life and make your family united in serving the Lord. Trials are to strengthen the bonds, making them strong as cables. Let this trial deepen your faith and make you precious metal for the Master’s use, having the dross removed by the fire.

Above all wrap your child in love and present him to the Lord for Him to restore in His own time programme. This commitment to the Lord will free you to pray for the healing power of the Holy Spirit to invade and liberate him.

Keep Romans 8:28 forever in your heart. God’s promise that, “all things work together for good …” even when things seem shattered, should take a high position on the priority list for verses on suffering. To glibly quote this without having been through this trial would be the height of hypocrisy and phony love. But aim to saturate yourself with God’s Word, so that when you wake in the middle of the night with acute signs of anxiety symptoms, you will hear the voice of the Lord whisper to you, “My child, this will all work out for good because you love Me and are called for My purposes.” This saturation of helpful verses will be the kind of inner urging from the Lord that heals.
Think about this:
“In love’s service, only the WOUNDED can serve, for they alone understand the cry of the bleeding heart.”
This shattering you are feeling will one day be gone, and in it’s place will be a heart of love to minister to others who God will bring into your life, because you have passed this cup of suffering trial. – – Barbara Johnson

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Barbara Johnson is a mother who has “been there”. The discovery of her son’s homosexuality is one of the events described in her best-selling book, Where Does A Mother Go To Resign? You can contact Barbara through her ministry to parents of gays:
SPATULA MINISTRIESPO Box 444
Le Habra, CA 90631.
U.S.A.

For further information about homosexuality or about other areas of sexual brokenness, please contact:

LOVE IN ACTION
G.P.O. Box 1115
ADELAIDE SA 5001
Phone (08) 371-0446

This article is reprinted by permission from:

Love In Action
P.O. Box 2655
San Rafael California 94912
U.S.A.