Bob_Allport
“I was like everybody else; you knew about Jesus and what He did.But, it was never personal”
I really hope and desire that some of the things I have to say willbe a blessing to you.
I’m going to attempt to give you my complete testimony. Turn to the66th chapter of the Book of Psalms, just one verse. I came across thisverse about three years ago; I was just reading my Bible one day, andthis verse kind of jumped out at me. Have you ever had that happen? Imean, you’re reading along, and you may not be paying attention atsomething, and something just strikes you. This verse grabbed myattention; I looked at it and I wrote down right next to it, “Testimonyverse.” A few months later, I got to use it.
Psalms 66:16: “Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I willdeclare what he hath done for my soul.”
Everybody knows my name, so I won’t have to start there. But I wouldlike to start years ago in 1961, in Portsmouth, Virginia. This was theplace where I was born. My dad was in the Navy, and that was the placewhere he was stationed. I really don’t know much about what happened,but I was born, as you can see tonight.
That would be 29 years ago. From there, my parents later moved toPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania, at which I spent the next seven years of mylife. From there, at age 7, my dad moved up to where he was from in thewestern part of New York. I spent the next fourteen years there.
Now, my name is Bob Allport. I lived in a town called Gasport, NewYork. I went to school in a town called Middleport. After I got saved,the town where I went to church was called Lockport. And all this iswest of Brockport. Hence, my name is Allport.
My upbringing is what you would call typical. We lived on a smallfarm. My dad worked a regular job, so naturally I got to do all thework on the farm. He worked at a plant. He was not a religious man; tothis day, I believe he’s still lost.
My mom did have some upbringing in church, but the extent of myreligious education was perhaps two Sundays a year. So, I was lost.
I was like everybody else; you knew about Jesus and what He did.But, it was never personal; it never was applied in my life in apersonal wife. It was a known fact; but it was not heart felt. There’sa big difference.
I continued in life, went through grade school and high school, andhad the peer pressures there. I did some things that I won’t talkabout. I remember, now that I’m older, that I was working in a machineshop. How I got into this trade, I really don’t know. I just wound upin it.
This period of life was a very dark time for me. I did somethingthat I’m not going to talk about now; I have things in my life that Ihold back and never talk about–just as you have things in your lifethat you hold back. It was something that was very deep and very dark,and hurt a great deal.
At this time, God started dealing with my heart. At this time,another man was hired in the machine shop; his name was Steve Baer. Hewas from a place called Pensacola Bible Institute. I heard that he wasa preacher; by this time, I was burdened and decided to go talk to him.I really wasn’t ready for some of the things he was going to say.
I’d ask a question; he’d have a Bible answer. I’d ask him anotherquestion; he’d go straight to the chapter and verse with the answer.This was the first person in my life who actually did that with me. Imean, through all the other religious experiences I had, nobody eversat down and opened a Bible and showed me, chapter and verse, where theanswers were.
He started dealing with me. He told me about salvation. He asked meif I was saved.
I said, “No.”
When I was hired at the machine shop, I actually replaced a personnamed Rod Phillips. He was actually from the same school as SteveBaer–Pensacola Bible Institute. He came up to Lockport, New York, tostart a church. By this time, he was pastoring full-time.
I knew about him from some of the guys I worked with–some of thethings he did, his mannerisms, etc. So I decided that maybe I’d rathertalk to him. I said, “Steve, can you set up an appointment, so I cancome to talk to Rod Phillips?”
Steve said, “Yeah.” So he made an appointment at his house one night.
I was true to my word; I decided to go.
Once again, I wasn’t ready for some of the things that were going tobe put before me. There it was–an open Bible again. I mean–the Truth!Answers to my question.
This conversation we had went on for maybe 15 or 20 minutes–I don’treally remember now. At the end, he brought it all together right downto a point. He said, “Bob, would you like to accept Jesus as yourSaviour?”
Now, I really knew neither one of these guys. If you knew me, you’dknow I’m rather shy at nature. I was embarrassed; I was drawn back. Isaid, “No, not right now.”
But I knew that what the man said was true; I knew that this was theanswer to my burdened heart.
I said my goodbyes; I got up and walked down to my car. Right thereand then, in my car, I bowed my head and accepted the Lord Jesus as mySaviour.
From that day on, things started to change. I had a purpose in life.The burden that I carried for so long was now gone. There was a peacein my heart.
I continued at the shop, and the fellowship that Steve and I had wasa great thing. At lunch, I could sit down and talk to him, and he wouldteach me from the word of God. He was planting seed; he was workingwith me. Then, after he was laid off, he started inviting me over tohis house, and we had Bible studies, and I started to grow.
I met my future wife at these Bible studies. Debbie and I wereengaged and decided to get married in a few months–during May. Duringthis time, the Lord had been dealing with me about going to school. Isurrendered to that.
I know for a fact, as you read these very words, that I was calledto go to Pensacola Bible Institute. I know that. In trying to beobedient to my heavenly vision, as it is, I decided to go.
Two weeks before we moved to Pensacola, Florida, my wife and I weremarried. Then, just two weeks later, we packed all our earthly goods ina four-by-six trailer, hooked it onto our car, and we just took off. Iwas 23 at this time. My wife is a couple of years younger than me.
This is where things start changing.
I remember driving down the highway, and suddenly I experienced oneof those joys that everybody looks forward to on a trip–a flat tire! Ijust spent half the day loading all of the heavy stuff in the car andin the trailer, and then there it was. I was going down the road, thetire blew out, and thanks to my Mario Andretti driving skills, Iquickly maintained control and pulled it over to the side of the road.There I was, unloading all of that stuff.
I remember a guy in a pickup pulls over and stops just ahead of mycar. He gets out and walks back toward me. I was changing the tire. Iknew what to do; I had everything under control. He said, “You need anyhelp?”
I said, “No, thank you.”
He kind of hung around for a few minutes; I don’t know why, becauseI already told him I didn’t need any help. He got back into his truckand took off.
Just as I finished changing the tire, I remember standing therelooking down the road ahead. I’m going to say something right now thatdoesn’t make much sense, but it really did happen. I remember lookingdown the road, and time stood still. I something ahead.
It was darkness.
It was pain.
I can’t describe it any better than that.
But, my Bible says, “The just shall live by faith.” Even though Ihad no comprehension of what was waiting for me, I pressed on. Had Iknown what lay ahead, I probably would have turned around and gone back.
But, “The just shall live by faith.”
So, I continued.
Our journey took approximately three days. We arrived in Pensacola,Florida–with all the cockroaches and fire ants and sand–no grass. Westayed with one of Steve Baer’s friends, who put us up for a few days.After that, the Lord opened up an opportunity to get a trailer.
Then, the Lord provided a house for us. Let me tell you how the Lordprovided it. Now, this is strange, but in the end, you’ll see how a lotof this stuff will fall into place. There was a little house we werelooking at, and we were fourth on the list to get it. The dimensions ofthis house were 20 feet by 22 feet–all three rooms! One things I didlike about it was that it was cheap. I knew that I wasn’t going to getvery high wages down there, and $100.00 a month was something I couldhandle. So, the Lord opened that opportunity. As I said, we were fourthon the list, and the landlord called us and gave us the house. That wasthe first thing.
The next major experience we had was a job provided for me. I waitedfor a long time–I believe about four weeks–before I found something.God first provided a gas station for me to work in. As I’ve said, mytrade is a machinist. I wasn’t getting anywhere in that trade, and infact I wanted to get out of the trade at that time. I decided to tryworking at a gas station just to help make ends meet.
I remember I got into one place; they seemed to like me. But soonthey knew of another place in their organization that needed a worker,so they farmed me over there. This was a bad ordeal for me, because itwas a “family-run”-type thing. I don’t know if many of you have everworked for a family-owned organization, but when you’re one of only oneor two “outsiders,” things just don’t go too well for you. You arealways the guy who is accused of doing wrong, you’re always the guy whomakes the mistakes. The family’s kids never do anything wrong.
Pressure was mounting up. I remember one day I decided that I hadenough of that place. Around the corner from the tire shop where Iworked was a machine shop. One day, I just got fed up with the placeand said, “That’s it. I’m going down to that machine shop and try toget a job.”
I walked down to that place. It was a Saturday, and he was open. Iwalked in there and applied for a job. He looked at my application andsaid, “I just let go of a guy, so I’ll offer you the job.”
I wasn’t making very much at first–a grand total of $4.50 an hour.I’ve already spent four years in my trade, had served in apprenticeschool and had journeyman’s papers. Those wages were really low for mytrade. But, as you’ll see, this comes in play, too.
Now, I had a house. I had a house. I was ready to begin school. Thenext thing caused me to experience one of the joys of a young parent–you find out that your wife is going to have a child!
Just one little complication here–we had no insurance.
I was concerned, as a father would be. I’m the provide, and I wantto provide for my own. The Lord intervened, so that we could enter oneof those programs in the hospital, to where you only have to pay somuch.
Debbie’s pregnancy started out as normal as any other. She wasgrowing larger and larger every day. School was starting, and thepressures were beginning–having to work all day, come home, go toschool an average of three to four hours a night, all the tests, thepressures of trying to pay the bills.
Toward the end of her pregnancy, complications started to set inwith my wife. I can see clearly now, because I can look back withhindsight. But at the time this was happening, I didn’t have theknowledge about it which I have now. She started to swell tremendously;we’re talking thirty pounds of water weight! At the very end of herpregnancy, the doctor insisted she have almost 20 hours a day of bedrest. Toxemia was setting in.
I remember the hour and the day that our first child was going to beborn. My wife was lying in the intensive care unit at the time. Iremember the doctors were all gathering around the bed, and theybrought the machine over which they called the ultrasound machine thatwould take pictures. My wife was not dilated; things were starting togo wrong. Her blood pressure was going up. They started the machine,and began to take photographs of the baby.
I was standing right there, in a darkened room full of all thesedoctors–standing, looking at this screen, looking at my child. One ofthe doctors, a particularly foul-mouthed man, came over to the machine,and he cussed and said, “That looks like swollen ventricles!”
My knowledge of medical things at this time was not very extensive.I knew the heart had a ventricle; that was about the extent of it. Idid not know that the brain did as well. So, he started looking, said afew more words, and walked out. As everyone was leaving, I turned tothe lady who was pushing the machine out and said, “What is this? Isthere something wrong with the child?”
She looked at me funny. “You’re going to have to talk to the doctor.”
I waited. The doctor came in later. He stood straight and looked atme and said, “We think your child has hydrocephalus.”
I didn’t understand.
He explained, “That word is hydro, the root word for water.”
I still didn’t quite grasp it.
He broke it down one more step. “We think it’s water on the brain.We’re going to have to an emergency C-section. A normal birth won’t bepossible at this time.”
I said, “OK.”
He walked out of the room; I walked out of the room. I went downthis little corridor leading out of the building. I stood looking atthe sky, looking at all the pure, white clouds going by. I rememberthinking back of all the times that I prayed for a healthy. I mean,what father doesn’t? I asked for one, and it seemed to me that at thistime the heavens were just brass, and none of my prayers, no matterwhat I did or said, were getting through.
I couldn’t understand it. Darkness prevailed.
I looked up at the sky and asked the question that so many peopleask: “Why me? Why me?”
Brother James McGaughey once gave an illustration of a piece ofpottery going through the fires. But I just couldn’t take any more; Iturned and ran back into the hospital and down the corridor, throughthese two double doors, and then I stopped and looked. Just aboutknee-high on the wall was a poster; there was a silhouette of Jesushanging on a cross, with His outstretched arms, and underneath it said,”With an everlasting love I have loved thee.”
I dropped my head and walked back.
They performed the emergency C-section and called me afterwards. Wehad a little girl.
We named her Christina.
When she was born, her head was 17 inches in circumference. Insideyour brain, you have four chambers which they call ventricles. Thesechambers, on a daily basis, produce and store spinal fluid. Thesethings are connected to your spinal column. This fluid is renewed in aday-by-day process. They figured that, somewhere in about the fourthmonth of pregnancy, a blockage occurred in the bottom half of littleChristina’s developing brain. And so these ventricles were producingthis fluid, and the fluid had no place to go. So, in essence, the watercrushes the brain within the skull.
You don’t see many of these hydrocephalic children today. Most ofthem are put in homes.
Christina had every feature of a normal baby. She was very cute,with a round face and a little nose. She looked an awful lot like thetwo children God blessed us with later, which we have now.
I remember the first time I saw her. The hospital was laid out in astrange sort of fashion; I don’t think they consider the ordeal ofpeople who have to go into an intensive-care nursery, because you haveto walk right down past the newborn nursery. That may not seem likemuch, but when you’re going through what we were going through, younotice things like that.
I had to walk down the hall and see all the other parents. I didn’tknow whether they were saved or lost. They are looking through thewindow, happily smiling at their normal babies. I had to walk right by.
I wasn’t ready for some of the shock that I was going to see when Iwalked into the intensive-care nursery. I don’t know if many of youhave ever been to an intensive-care nursery. I walked in and gazed atall the expensive machinery. They made me scrub up ‘way up my arms andput on a special gown. They took me over to where my child was.
On the way over, though I got to see some things. I saw littlebabies that were no bigger than your hand, wrapped up in cellophanewith tape over their eyes, while a machine was trying to keep themalive. You get to see some things that make you step back.
They took me over to Chrissy, and I saw her for the first time. Iwasn’t ready for it; so much was happening this day.
I saw her, then I left. My mother was flying in that day; I had togo to the airport to get her. Debbie’s parents had come down to visitus. I was about to go through another experience I didn’t really carefor–repeating this story to my mother.
Sometimes, it’s like a wound. You put a bandage on it, then you ripit off. Then you put another one on, and then you rip it off again.
I went home from the hospital and had to face Debbie’s parents. Iran into the house. They said, “What happened?”
I said, “The baby had water on the brain.”
At the airport, my mother stepped off the plane, all happy to seeme. Once again, I had to tell the story–everything that happened. Andthen she said, “We’d better call your grandparents.” Once again, I hadto rehearse the story–to my grandparents.
Many details of these days are burned into my mind and my heart. Ican’t get rid of them.
It’s hard enough to rear and to care for a normal baby. But try onewho’s a little different! Everything that was normal became abnormal,and everything that was abnormal became normal.
She stayed in the intensive-care nursery for two weeks. After that,we got to take her home.
One of the first medical problems which I noticed she was startingto have was something we never dealt with before–she had a seizure. Idon’t know if any of you has ever seen that. They can be very scary.
I was at work. I got a telephone call from Debbie. She said, “I hadto take Chrissy into the hospital. Something is wrong with her. Shestarted changing colors.”
Immediately the little girl was put on phenobarbitol, a heavyseditive. She remained on that drug until the day she left us.
Let me interject here how God intervened. When I applied for thatjob at $4.50 an hour, I couldn’t see down the road what was going totake place. But my God did. And even though I didn’t think it was agreat deal, He knew some of the things I would have to face withoutinsurance. So He gave me a low wage–just under the “poverty” level, sostate funding could take over the hospital expenses. You see, my Godprovided. How much in total hospital and medical expenses this littlegirl had wracked up, I have no idea.
On one hospital visit, they presented me with a bill. During thethree or four days she was in the hospital, they did virtually nothingmore than take a few tests, and it cost $3,000.00.
After we took her home, other complications developed. An additionalabnormality for this little girl was that she lost her suckability. Youput a bottle in her mouth, and she didn’t know what to do with it. Whatis normal became abnormal. I think she did take one bottle one time;then she stopped. From that point, Debbie tried syringes andspoon-feeding. For some reason, the girl took the spoon feeding forawhile. But later she got real picky about what she wanted to eat; andthen she totally stop.
When she was nine months old, she weighed the same as she did whenshe was born. The doctors suggested that we allow her to undergo anoperation. During this operation, they would surgically implant arubber hose in the stomach, so we could feed her, and then the hosewould be brought outside.
I remember when Chrissy went into the hospital for this. She lookedvery sick at the time. The operation took a few hours, and wassuccessful.
During this, God taught me something else. I remember going up tothe hospital to see Chrissy and Debbie. Debbie said, “Come here; I wantto show you something.” She picked up Chrissy, and we went down thehall. We got to a certain room, and Debbie said, “Look in there.”
I said, “OK,” trailing a little behind her. She walked by the room,and I looked, and then I turned away. I couldn’t believe some of thethings I was seeing!
Inside that room lay a little boy. His name was Paul. The same thinghappened to him that happened to our daughter, but in a different way.His spinal fluid was thick, and his head was enormous! I’m talkingabout a baby nine months old with a head the size of my own! There helay, in a little car seat, propped up on a hospital bed. He also hadthis surgery to place a rubber tube in his stomach.
God showed me some things. Not only was he unable to eat, but Paulhad also lost his ability to blink. They had to suture his eyes shut,so they wouldn’t dry it.
I tried the best that I could to minister to Paul’s family. Theparents were not around, but I left notes, on which was written, “I’dlike to talk to you.”
Once, I bought a balloon and tied it to the baby’s crib. And I stoodthere with my open Bible, and I read a few things. I said, “Paul, I’llsee you in glory.”
I don’t know what happened to that child. Chances are, he didn’tmake it.
I remember another time, when I saw yet another hydrocephalic child.
It’s amazing. When you go through an experience like this, all of asudden you notice that there are more cases like your own around youthan you think.
I was at the supermarket one day, doing some shopping. I noticed alady pushing a little stroller, and inside there was a little baby. Ihappened to notice something about this child. The little baby hadundergone a medical procedure called a shunt.
This procedure had been performed on my daughter a few days aftershe was born. A shunt is like an I.V. tube with a one-way valve whichthey insert underneath the skin, through the skull, into the brain.This bypasses the natural passage through the spinal column in theneck, and allows the fluid to drain all the way underneath the skindown to the intestines.
So, I knew what the shunt looked like, and I recognized it in thislittle baby in the supermarket. I happened to see this mother, happy ascan be, pushing the baby along. I maneuvered myself over to where shewas and started talking with her. This case was a little different frommy own, and different from Paul’s, and different from any other case.You see, none of these cases is the same. This stuff here affects thebrain, right? And what does the brain control? Everything! So, eachcase is different. At times, you can’t even establish a foundation,from one case to the other, on which to compare notes.
After talking with the mother, I learned that when this child wasborn, half the child’s brain was born outside the body. These thingsexist. They had to surgically remove the external half. So, in essence,this child only had half a brain.
As I talked with the mother, I noticed that only one side of thechild’s body would move–one arm, one leg.
As time passed, Chrissy’s seizures got more intense. Things gotworse. The pressures of school started building up and snowballing. Wehad to feed the child in a special way. For a period of eight solidweeks, she had one seizure every week. Let me describe what a seizurecan do. It’s an electrical dysfunction of the brain, where the wavesget screwy. We would first recognize a funny sort of shake come overher face. From there, it would go down to her hand, and then her foot.Her limbs would start twitching. From there, part of the body would getinvolved; she would get a very blank look to her. At the height of herseizure, she would stop breathing totally, and she would turn blue.
These things continued to get worse and worse. To this day, I don’tknow how many seizures she had. I would take a guess at 30 seizures intwo-and-half years. Every time she would gain weight, her metabolismwould be thrown off-balance by the phenobarbitol–causing her to have aseizure. Every time she had a fever, every time she had an earinfection, it would throw something off, and she would have a seizure.Every time, we would have to go back to the hospital and stay there.
I don’t recall how many times I stood there at night, with mydaughter lying in the hospital bed here, and here I am holding a stupidGreek or Hebrew book in one hand, trying to study–how many times, Iforget.
As time passed, she grew. She actually was more active than thedoctors said she would be; they expected her to be a total vegetable.But she had personality to her. She would smile. At times we noticedher watching things which we earlier thought she couldn’t see. We thinkshe did have some hearing function. At the very end, she was evenstarting to crawl. She would get up in a crawling position– which wasvery amazing for a child who wasn’t expected to live.
I remember the adjustments we had to make, with the eating theweight problems, and the doctors. You know, through all this, you tryto continue a normal life as much as possible. During these times, wetried to take vacations. I remember one time in particular, I owned acertain car–a Volkswagen Dasher. I’ll never buy another one!
Did you ever have a car that just hated you? Have you ever had that?It sees you coming, and it acts right. Then, you own the thing, and itjust falls apart. This was one of these cars. I didn’t really trust mymechanical judgment on a car at this time, so I took a friend with mewho worked on cars for a long time. We both went to look at it. Ourfirst mistake was to look at it in the rain. My friend said, “Well, itdoesn’t seem too bad to me.”
I needed a new car at this time, so I told the owner, “OK, we’lltake it.”
I took it home and did what everybody else would do; I changed theoil. That was my first mistake. I remember, after changing the oil, Istarted the thing up–and the thing was fogging from mosquitoes! Itdidn’t do this when I went to buy it; but, when I brought it home, itdecided to do it.
I listened a little closer to this thing–and now it’s making somestrange noises! I called my buddy back over. “What does that sound liketo you?”
He said, “It sounds like the main.”
I said, “That’s what I thought it was.”
So, there I began this journey of ripping this car half apart. Ijust did the bottom half; I was going on vacation, and so I was limitedon time. I remember getting all the parts, working really hard to putthis thing all back together. I remember the day that my vacation hadcome. We decided we were going to drive back north to New York–1,330miles one way.
Well, I guess I like adventures! After working all day, we hopped inthe car. I drove a little way–about five miles–and the airconditioner quit working. I got a little tired and let the wife takeover. At about 2:00 in the morning or so, she was driving and I wasdead asleep on the passenger’s side of the car. While dosing in and outof sleep, I listened to the sound of the engine. It’s a four- cylinder;why is it running on three? As I pondered that, I heard a change in theengine noise; it’s a four-cylinder; why is it running on two?
I said, “Deb, pull over.”
She pulled over. I got my tools out; I got the flashlight out. Itook a spark plug out, and there was solid carbon all over the thing. Itook the other ones out and started scraping them. I also had a spareset of plugs, for which I was glad. I put them in, and we drove anothersix hours. Then I had to pull them back out, clean the other set, andput them back in.
It was one of those cars in which you pull into the gas station andsay, “Check the gas and fill up the oil.” I think, on my one-way trip,I consumed something like 15 quarts of oil.
When I start something, I don’t like to quit; I’m going to see itthrough. So I got the thing all the way up north. Once home, it startedto do strange things. We drove it around during our stay up there, thenheaded back to Florida–this time stocked up with 24 quarts of oil.
We came to this town called LaGrange, Georgia. I looked at thegauges. I knew that thing was going through oil bad. I said, “We’regoing to check it, and we’re going to get some gas.” We pulled over toa gas station; I filled up the gas and checked the oil and, sureenough, it needed some. I poured some in there. We had our daughterwith us; she was in the back. My wife returned to the car; I returnedto the car. Then we both heard that lovely sound…
Click….
Click….
Nothing’s working!
I got out and looked at it. I tried messing with the timing enoughto get it started. It just wouldn’t do it.
A black guy stopped. He said, “You got problems?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He said, “Well, let me try to give you a jump.” He tried, butnothing happened. He said, “I think your starter is gone.”
I said, “That’s what I think it is, too.”
So, I pushed my car out to the side of the road. Keep in mind that Ihad thirty-five dollars to my name. I had one $300.00 check in mypocket, which Debbie’s dad gave us while we were up visiting him. Itwas an out-of-state check, which we were supposed to use to send mydaughter to a special hospital.
I sat there, looking at my wife, knowing that my funds were low. Ilooked down the console between the two front seats, and there weresome Chick tracts. I said, “Well, I’ve heard of others doing this…”
I said to the wife, “You stay here.” I grabbed the tracts and walkedup to the gas pumps.
In a unique way of witnessing, I would start out, “Hey, do you knowwhere there are any parts stores where I can get parts for my car?”
The attendant told me. Then I tried to witness to him and give him atract.
A red Bronco pulled up. For some reason, I didn’t talk to the guy.He walked buy me and said, “Hi,” and as I nodded my head, he walked into do what he wanted to do, and came back out. I didn’t stop him. Hegot into his truck and proceeded to pull out and away.
At about the time his truck was beside my parked car, Debbie wasoutside with Chrissy in her hands, patting her on the back. This guyhad his wife with him, and they had a daughter. They looked over andlooked at our daughter. They asked if anything was the matter. Debbieexplained something to them.
I turned away, and as I was pondering what I’m going to do and howI’m going to fix this thing, I looked up again–and Debbie was callingme over.
So, I go over, and this guy–whom we don’t know from Adam–said,”What’s the problem?”
I said, “I think my starter’s gone.”
He goes, “Well, I’ll help you. I’ll try to tow-start this thing.”
Well, it’s an automatic. I didn’t know this at the time, but thebook says you can’t tow-start an automatic. He left his wife anddaughter, and my wife and our daughter, there at our car, took me downto the store where we got a chain. We came back and hooked it up to mycar, and we took off.
We were doing about fifty miles an hour–with just two or three feetof distance between us–trying to start this car! I was hitting thebrake while he was pulling me–and he wasn’t slowing down; he keptgoing faster!
Finally, we pulled back into the gas station. He said, “Well, that’snot going to work. I’ll put you up for the night.”
Now, I was kind of leery. Who wouldn’t be? You know what kinds ofkooks and nuts are out there. But, I remembered that the Bible said,”The just shall live by faith.” If I had not said yes, I would havemissed a great thing.
I said, “OK.”
We piled into his vehicle, and he took off down the road. While hewas driving, I was counting the trees! He’s taking a left at this treehere; he’s taking a right now here…. I’m just visualizing thenewspaper headlines the next day: Three Found Slain In The Woods.
He pulled in to his driveway and took us into the house. He gavefood to my daughter; he gave clothes to her; he let us sleep in theirwaterbed. He treated us like a king and a queen.
The next day he got up and took off for work. He was ashort-distance truck driver. He left word with his wife to help me out.He knew about the check that I had; they helped me cash the check. Theythen took me to the only parts store there that had the only starter inthe whole town that would fit my car. He took me back, and put it backtogether; I was on the road again.
You say, “What did you learn?” I learned this: that my God is ableto prepare a table for me in the presence of mine enemies. Who’s myenemy? The world. He prepared a place.
Just think for a second. What would you have done? Would you havereached back into your wallet and pull out that ol’ plastic money?Would you have done that? I didn’t have any credit cards; I’m glad Ididn’t, because I got to see my God move in a marvelous way.
I continued to go through school.
By the third year of my schooling, the closer I seemed to get tograduation, the stronger the pressures became. Down there, it’s apressure cooker to begin with, but some of the things I was facing madeit even worse.
The next thing I was about to face caught me all off guard. We triedeverything for our daughter; what parent wouldn’t? We went to differentdoctors; we went to a naturalist doctor, who suggested using certainfoods. To be quite honest, what the guy had to say was true; itactually started to help my daughter. But the one thing that usingjuices and special natural foods didn’t do–and I’m all for it onehundred per cent–was help my daughter gain weight. Now, since I wasmaking a low wage, the state was still taking care of my daughter tosome degree. But they kept their “eye” on me; we had to take her in forcheckups. But for awhile, we didn’t have to take her to the doctors orto the hospital, because she wasn’t having any seizures as of late. Sowe didn’t take her in for a few weeks, and they wondered where we were.So they sent out some social workers to see us– unannounced.
They came into our house and looked at our daughter. They didn’t saytoo much and took off. A few days later, I saw a white car pulling upin my yard. Somebody gets out and serves me a subpoena to go tocourt–for medical neglect.
I did everything they said! I tried everything I could think of. Togive you some degree of the complexities of these things, her recordswere over 50 pages long–50 pages of visits, of complications.
Here I am, trying to finish school, trying to pay the medicalbills– and now I have a lawyer to deal with!
After I was through some of these things for awhile, it just didn’tseem to have much devastating effect on me anymore. I had seen God movein some mighty and strange ways, and I was learning how to lean on Himmore and more, learning how to let Him take control.
The day I had to go to court, I was reading my Bible, and a versestuck out at me: “I will build a hedge about thee; I will make you abrazen wall, that none can come close.” The lawyer, who was also aChristian, went in there with me. A few days later, the lawyer calledme and said the state decided not to press charges.
My God was delivering me again. He was taking care of me andproviding for me.
I remember graduation day. I finally got to the end. Oh, what afeeling! You get to the end, and you are finished. You know, your lifefalls into a routine; we were getting used to it.
One day, my little girl had a dietary imbalance. She started aseizure right after church. We came home that night, and she started inwith the twitching right away. Usually, a seizure lasted only fiveminutes; it seemed like an eternity, but that’s usually the extent ofit. This one went for two-and-a-half hours.
We picked her up and took her to the hospital again. They injectedher with heavy drugs, but they wouldn’t sedate her. The seizure keptgoing on and on.
I had a friend at this time; all this time in Pensacola, God usedonly one person to comfort me. The preachers who were there did whatthey could, but God used a fellow classmate who was more helpful thananybody else. He was there with me that night in the hospital; he wasshowing me scripture; he was saying things. He was a real, closefriend–oh, the times we spent together!
You see, many times I stood all alone, walking out into my yard atnight, listening to my wife rock a baby who was crying and wouldn’tstop. I would look up into the heavens and say, “God, I just want toquit. I’ve had enough!”
A few days would go by, and then somebody would come up to me andsay, “You know, I really get a blessing out of you.” I don’t say any ofthese things to give me glory by any means; in fact, to hear them saythat was a humbling experience. I would then say to God, “Yes, God, Iwant some more. I won’t quit. I’ll take one more step. One more step.”
After all, isn’t that what life is–just one step after another? Wehave a tendency to look ‘way down the road and think that happiness isa thing that’s ‘way over here–but it’s not. We think that if we justown this one car, or this one house, living in a certain place, we’llbe happy. But happiness seems to be a thing that eludes us. It seems tobe a pot of gold at the end of a receding rainbow.
What is “happiness”? Knowing the Lord. Walking with Him. Talkingwith Him. That’s when the joy and the happiness come in–and the “peaceof God, which passeth all understanding.”
By graduation, my daughter had grown somewhat, but not normally. Onetime, when she was born, her whole body proportions were out of whack;the head was larger than the body. Because there was so much braindamage, the brain would not develop. So, now, at the age of two-and-a-half years, her body had grown larger in proportion than her head.
Something started getting seriously wrong with her in September of1986. During one week, we took her to the doctor every day for fourdays in a row. She was acting strange in way that we had never seenbefore; she could not be comforted by any means. She would lie in hercrib and just moan back and forth and just moan and cry, hour afterhour.
We took her to the doctor; the doctor would say, “Oh, it’s justgastritis. Here, give her this medicine.”
We did that. The next day, it was no better. We took her back. “Oh,it’s this, this, and this. Let’s do this….” It was no better.
The third day, we took her back. “It’s this, this, and this.” We didwhat they said; it was no better.
Now we come to September 17. At this time Debbie was carrying my sonJoshua. That right there in itself added to the pressure. You alreadyhad one that wasn’t right. You wonder about the second. As before,Chrissy could not be comforted, so we took her to the doctor again.
Looking back now, I can see clearly what was wrong–why the doctordidn’t tell me at the time, I don’t know. I looked at the doctor as shelooked at the baby; the doctor had perplexity in her face; she didn’tknow, and she wasn’t about to tell me. Had she told me something, Icould have tried something else–but she didn’t. She mumbled, “I thinkit’s this.”
We went to get some medicine again and went home. Debbie, carryingJoshua at the time, was very tired. I said, “You just lie down. I’llput Chrissy in the crib and do the grocery shopping.” There were twostores I was going to. After arriving at the first store, something– Idon’t know what–told me that I better get home quickly.
I put the groceries into the back of the vehicle. I looked down theroad, and up ahead I saw flashing red lights. I saw an ambulance. Imuttered a prayer, “God, I hope that’s not my house.”
But it was.
I pulled into the driveway; they were wheeling a stretcher across myyard. I went in the house; Debbie was crying. The preacher had justarrived, and motioned me to go toward the back of the house with him.
You know, people react differently to this kind of stress; somepeople just break down and cry. But I, at the time, had a tendency toget very angry. I wasn’t angry at anybody; I wasn’t angry at God. I wasjust angry at the fact that I had been fighting for two-and-a-halfyears, and I felt like I had just lost the war.
As they were working on my little daughter, they asked me questions.I snapped the answers back to them. They asked for a name, and I wouldalmost spell it and spit it out to them at the same time. They lookedat me strangely–but it was my way of handling the stress I was facingthen. It’s different when you see your own child right there.
They wheeled her out and put her in the ambulance. The preacherleft, but his wife stayed with us. We got into our car–that piece ofjunk I had, the Volkswagen–this time it was fixed, but it stillcouldn’t go fast very fast. As we were driving toward the hospital, Iwas trying to keep up with everybody, but I couldn’t. They werespeeding down the road, and Mrs. McGaughey, the preacher’s wife, said,”Hit the horn!”
It didn’t work.
We arrived there a little later than the ambulance and everybodyelse. We had returned to a hospital I had been to so many times, Ialmost knew it like the back of my hand–where the corridors were, howto get to where. I pulled in. We go through the preliminary paperwork,and then they took me back to a place I hadn’t been before.
This was a Catholic hospital. The only reason we were dealing with aCatholic hospital at this time was because they happened to have someof the best equipment.
This nun came out and started talking to us. When they were leadingus to the admissions office, I walked right by where they were workingon Chrissy. At the office, they said, “Here’s a form we need you tofill in.”
I put the form before me and started to fill it in with my name. Atthe very end of the form, there was another blank I needed to fillin–the time. I signed the form and then glanced up at the clock forthe time.
If anybody reading this knows anything about Bible numerics, you’llunderstand the significance of this–the time was 5 o’clock–exactly.That’s the number of death in the Bible.
I looked at that clock and then started to realize what was takingplace.
The doctors never knew what happened to the girl. They performedtheir tests, and after working on her for a period, they came to us andsaid, “She’s now totally brain dead.” Now, they were keeping her alivewith a machine.
I remember going into her room. They had her in a bed with a specialheating element over her. There are some things you see that you justnever forget. I remember looking at her eyes, as she just lay theremotionless–it’s a look I’ll never forget. There was no light comingback out. None. Have you ever seen a dog, when they are playing? Theireyes flash and light up? You can see that in a lot of people,too–their eyes just have a life about them.
But that was gone.
Like shades pulled over the eyes.
Once again, there at the hospital, the staff put me under sometremendous pressure by confronting me with a decision. Thank God fordoctors; they can do a lot of good things. But there is one thing theycannot do–prolong life. They can keep the body lying there, and theycan prolong agony at times.
They had done some good, but now they came to me and said, “We’vedone all we can do. Now what do you want us to do?” Now, they placedthe burden back on me.
Had things gone on in a natural course, that girl would have diedthat day. But they decided to prolong her life with machines–and nowthey’re putting me under more pressure.
I had never had to face this before–whether to keep her on thelife-support system, or take her off.
Bob Allport