Way[s] to grow in the knowledge of God your Father even if your father sinned against you:
1. Identify and take responsibility for the specific lies, false beliefs, desires, expectations, and fears that poison your relationship with God.
2. Find and apply specific truths in the Bible that contend with those lies and cravings.
3. Turn to God for mercy and help, so that the Spirit of truth would renew you, pouring out His love freely.
4. Take responsibility for the specific sins you express toward your father (i.e. bitterness, willfulness, avoidance, blame-shifting, brooding, fears, people-pleasing, slander, lying, self-pity, etc.).
5. Turn to God for mercy and help, that the Spirit of love would enable you to bear his fruit thankfully.
6. Identify the specific sins committed against you… Identifying the wrongs helps you know what to forgive. It also makes it clear what God calls you to tackle constructively.
7. Ponder the good things your father did for you.
8. The Father gives the power to return good for evil rather than evil for evil… Come up with a plan for specific changes (i.e. forgiving, giving love, seeking forgiveness, forbearing, confronting constructively, refocusing your attention, pouring your energies into God’s calling, etc.).
9. Find wise believers to pray for you, hold you accountable.
David Powlison